Just so you know, I am panicked. Today, at least the day that I am writing this marks three months since I have been unemployed. I’m not going to say that I haven’t enjoyed some of the freedom. Being unemployed has offered freedom in terms of time. Being unemployed has allowed me go to my mom’s house multiple times. We have painted. We have cleaned. The house is almost ready to be listed for sale. The time off has allowed me to spend time with my niece and nephews. I have had time to go for walks outside. I have read…a lot. But even with all of those perks, I am panicked.
I am halfway through the allotted unemployment. Unemployment is for 26 weeks. Yet I do not have a job. It is not for lack of trying. I have completed a lot of applications. So far, nothing has come from them. Panic ensues!
Today, I had my normal morning routine going. I exercised, showered, ate breakfast, took the dog out for a walk and then I went into the office. You see, my job right now is to find a job. So on a daily basis I head into the office to ‘work’. I have tried to maintain a schedule. It’s good for the dog you know. This morning was no different. I worked on my computer until about 1:30. I went and ate lunch. And then I drove to a local cemetery and I started to walk. There is something liberating, freeing, mind clearing about walking outside. I noticed it when I ran, I had the most clear mind, amazing ideas, and epiphanies while I was running. Apparently, walking in graveyards gives me the same effect. (Some gorgeous flowers that had budded on the trees in the graveyard!)
I was feeling sorry for myself today. I was near tears. I was bemoaning my possible future without a job. I was worried about finances. And then my epiphany came.
It’s not a coincidence that Jason and I met at the exact time we met. Jason had just reached rock bottom in his life when we started talking online. Had I met him earlier before he reached that bottom, I can honestly say that I probably would have walked away. And by Jason‘s own words, if he had not met me when he met me, he may not have been able to dig out of his rock bottom. God brought us together at the exact perfect time. Coincidence. I think not.
Is it a coincidence that when Jason was experiencing a bout of unemployment, that everything lined up perfectly for him to return exactly when his money ran out. Coincidence? I think not.
I see the hand of God. I can keep going with all of these “ coincidental things”. But I don’t have to. You get the point. So as I walked I stopped thinking about the panic and I started looking at the positive.
When we got news that we were going to be laid off, my company had just been sold and was now under new ownership. There was speculation and rumors that they were not going to give us severance. It was a new company, they didn’t have to offer us severance. However, they did. I got three months of severance. Thank you, Lord.
There are states in the United States, who do not allow people to collect unemployment until the terms of their severance have run out. Some of the coworkers I was laid off with have had to deplete their severance first and only now after the three months have passed are they able to collect unemployment after three months. I was lucky enough to be in a state that does allow unemployment even if you have severance. (There is a cut off for the dollar amount, but I met the qualifications.) Not only have I been able to collect unemployment. The amount of my unemployment is sufficient enough that the general bills have been paid. Now don’t get too excited, I have nothing extra… But the bills are paid and I haven’t touched the severance yet! What a blessing.
Sure, I’m panicked. Absolutely, I’m worried. But, I don’t believe in coincidence. I’m praying for positive resolution. But in the meantime, I am going to enjoy every day of unemployment and know that something good is coming my way. I am trusting that this experience actually not only gives me a positive change emotionally but also gives me a positive change financially. I’m trusting.
I’m not gonna say that it is easy to trust. I’m not going to say that the panic won’t creep back in. But I am going to do my best to remember that all of these tough situations were resolved and it wasn’t coincidental.
So there you go, as much as I’m enjoying this time off… I’m ready to get back to work. But in the meantime, I’m going to work hard to continue to enjoy the days off. And even more, I’m going to work to trust. I am going to trust that good things are coming my way.
