What a week. My word for last week was Hang On. I did just that. I held on for dear life and tried to not let go.
I never expected to be burying my mom last week. Yet we did. As a family we had some laughs and some tears. I had handled my dad's death so well that I thought I would breeze through mom's death. But no, this has hit me hard. The best way to put it is that there is just this overwhelming sense of loneliness. I think when dad died I knew I still had one parent there and it gave me comfort. But now.....there is nothing and just a hole in my heart. I know...it will get easier.
Hanging on is exactly what I did. Oh, I wanted to eat horribly, but I kept my eating in line most days. The final day was the toughest of all. I have taken on a project where I am taking a pile of papers that include my mothers recipes and I am digitizing them. What I am doing is typing the recipes onto the computer. I am then scanning/taking a picture of the recipe that mom wrote (some with stains and hard to read) and I am placing that on the page with the recipe. So we have a nice version to recreate some of mom's baked goods but also so that we have a picture of her actual recipe. IN this way, we can have things organized neatly and not taking up scads of space. The problem with this project? It makes me want to bake! Many of the recipes that she made are already in my personal recipe file...but that doesn't matter...it makes me want to bake! I resisted the temptation....UNTIL I upgraded my Kitchen Aid mixer. I had a tilt top.......I have taken one of mom's kitchen aids. So I had a 'new to me" toy to play with. (once again, it was mom's I've used all of her mixers many times...but it was new to me and in my house). So I caved and made cookies yesterday morning. I did take half of them to my in-laws to share with them! (got them out of my house!) Even so, my calories for yesterday was still until 2,000. (right at about 1700 so I"m good with that).
My word of the week for this week is ROUTINE. I need to get back into my routine. I need that routine in place in order to have success! I fell back into the routine this morning and I"m counting on that old routine to carry me through this first week back.
2024 miles in 2024. I was so happy a week and a half ago because I was ahead in my miles for the year. I knew that being ahead was important for a 'rainy day'. Well, last week was rainy. I didn't do much riding on the bike (I did get one or two days in) and while some of the days my step count was great, others my step count was in the garbage! I did not meet my weekly goal....no where close! Luckily I had those banked extra miles. They saved me from not getting behind for the year. I literally have about 1/2 of a mile extra now! There is no wiggle room! I have to get to moving and start banking miles again!
It wasn't an easy week....but I think I can say it was a successful week, all things considering!