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Friday, August 30, 2024

I Overdosed


 I overdosed this week!   Big time!   It started out innocently enough but it escalated quickly and now I am here feeling the effects!  And it’s no fun!!


So it started innocently enough!    I was feeling happy on my loss on the scales and I was ready to make this week a success also!  So when I went to the store I picked up plums.  I picked up a huge watermelon (Jason doesn’t eat watermelon…so a huge one for one person is excessive…a bit), I picked up the biggest cantaloupe I could find (he also doesn’t eat cantaloue…not my fav either)   I grabbed bananas, and strawberries and raspberries.    And that was the fruit for ME!   Jason picked up peaches, apples and kiwi for himself!  But back to me…this is my website after all!   At the beginning of the week everything tasted so good!   I was eating big bowls of watermelon!  And cantaloupe and blessedly delicious oranges!  I shared my bananas with the bird!  The plums dropped their delectable juice down my chin.   It was great.  Honestly…probably 70% of my daily calories was coming from fruit!  Ok maybe not 70…but a lot.  It is what was for breakfast…lunch.and all snacks!  

I made it through Thursday…and then came Friday.   I put that bowl of cantaloupe on the table with my morning oatmeal….and I could t do it.  Just the thought of putting a piece of cantaloupe into my mouth made me want to gag!  (The raspberries in my overnight oats were ok though!).   Lunch came around and the thought of eating a plum was repulsive.  And watermelon.  Tears well up in my eyes as I even think about eating a bite of that! 

I literally OD’d on fruit!

I am making my grocery list for next week.  I will be eating fruits and veggies ….but not in that quantity!   

Ohhh and the worst part?  My weight hasn’t moved much!!!  




Wednesday, August 28, 2024

10 Week Challenge Week 4 and a change

 4 weeks ago I started a 10 week challenge!  I would love to say that it was a rousing success and that I had lost a lot of weight, but that is not true!  However, there has been a success!

At the end of the first three weeks, I was so frustrated.  What the what?  I was doing it.  I was counting my calories.  I was exercising and after three weeks I was the exact same weight!  Oh my weight had moved.  UP. DOWN.  UP.   But the end result was that I was the same exact weight!  And let me tell you, it wasn't a weight I wanted to see!

I will admit to being in tears.  I will admit to feeling frustrated enough to quit.  But no, I quit at so much in life. This wasn't going to be one of those times!  So I vowed to stick with it for the 10 weeks, come hell or high water!

The tears were not just privately shed in the shower and washed down the drain.  These tears where shared with Jason as I lamented my struggles.  In my mind I had been starting to think about medical intervention (which I knew my family doctor was ok with as she had mentioned it last year, but talked about waiting until my gastro issues were attended to).  Jason and I discussed the possibility of different medical interventions.  I remain resistant but at least a bit open to it!

In the meantime, I decided to switch things up TOTALLY.   I started a new weight loss program....one that I am paying for.  The program is similar to what I have been doing (or trying to do) but has a few different facets and tricks.   I have competed week one of that program and I am happy to say that I have lost 3 pounds!  WOO HOOO!

Yes, I will be sharing the new program with you eventually.  Right now I am just really deciding if this program is for me or not!  



Monday, August 19, 2024

10 Week Challenge week 2 and 3


 What in the world!   I thought I posted about week two of my 10 week challenge, but somehow I failed to do so!   This, you will get a two week update.


Week two  of my challenge went well.   I did great with my food.  I got all 5 days of my exercise.  I drank my water.  The only thing I struggled with was the simple 5 minutes of exercises…the planks, squats, sit ups, etc.   the biggest deterrent is the dog.  The dog thinks that whenever I sit (or lay) on the floor that it means that it is time to play.   It’s hard to do a plank in perfect conditions let alone with a 100 plus pound dog trying to climb onto your back.


At the end of week two I saw my weight drop!  A nice drop actually.  3.8 pounds.

I went into week three confident.    And my weight almost immediately spiked right back up.  And there it remained!   My food was ‘eh’. Nothing horrible, but it could have been better!  I still struggled with the simple 5 minutes of exercises.  Water was a struggle.  I did however do 3 out of the 5 cardio days (but picked up one on the weekend with outdoor work so a total of 4 cardio days completed).   The two days I missed I didn’t do it first thing in the morning and promised myself I would do it later.   Yeah, that doesn’t work for me!

And at the end of the week my weight was still back at the original number. That  3.8 pounds loss on week two  was an anomaly and I have officially lost NOTHING on this challenge.

I know that my actions and this challenge are good for ME, even if I don’t lose weight so I am continuing!  I’m determined to finish this challenge.   So many times I start something and then stop when I struggle.  Not this time….I am vowing to see this through!


Wednesday, August 07, 2024

Rain - Finally!

The week is flying by, but not fast enough!  I want the weekend!!!!

 

 This summer has been a dry one!  We have had to water our garden, flowers and plants almost constantly.  It's been insane!    Dry as a bone!  Yesterday after work I ran around and did a lot of the chores and things that needed done.  I stepped outside with the dog a bit before Jason was scheduled to come home.   She will hound me to be outside because she likes to wait for him and greet him out there.  And hey, it is no skin off my back!  SO outside we went.  I was on the phone with a coworker and we were talking.  The sun was warm but felt awesome on my skin after being in the cold house all day.  Things were going well and then literally I heard the dog back and run across the yard and the next thing I knew the wind was whipping around like crazy and the sky had turned black (ok, maybe not black...but dark and ominous).

I spent the next few minutes getting the yard prepped for a storm.  Well, first I had to run after some garbage that he blown across the yard from the overturned trashcan!   But dog toys cushions from the chairs, etc etc etc.  I moved it al to safer locations.  I  moved our big potted elephant ear plant up against the house to protect it.  I did everything I could to protect against wind.  Then I played with the dog.  I had a sneaky feeling that she wouldn't be able to run outside and play with Jason when he got home (they have their play hour).  So I got her running to expend some  of her energy.  

I was right.  Shortly after Jason got home the skies opened and it poured.  It rained for quite some time.   It was sooo nice!   And soooo needed!  As we have had rain maybe twice in the last month or two and it was just a short 10 minute dealio each time.   We have also had about an hour or rain again today!  Yay!   They say it should rain through Friday.   We just need a nice steady rain!!!


I'm frustrated with my eating and the numbers on the scales.  It's like they just have a mind of their own and no matter what I do they are going up.  It's driving me crazy!  I am TOYING with not weighing myself for a while.  At the beginning of this 10 week challenge I thought about going scaleless for the whole 10 weeks.  but that scares me!  What If I work really hard and only maintain or worse, gain???  So I dismissed that notion.  But I'm back to thinking about it.

 The other thing I am toying with is going to the doctor and asking for help!  I don't want to take medicine for this.  But something is clearly wrong if I"m doing what I should be doing and not losing (and gaining).  

 Weight loss is not a fun journey all the time!




Monday, August 05, 2024

10 week Challenge Week 1 Recap

 I started my 10 week challenge one week ago.  The week has flown by and it is time to share my progress!  If you are doing the challenge with me, let me know in the comments how you did!

 To start with, I will go ahead and recap quickly what the 10 week challenge is.  There are 4 basic parts.  Food, water, cardio and a few strength moves to be done 5 days a week with two days of rest built in (or two days with extra opportunity to get more movement).  The strength moves are easy and focus on functional movement.(you can download the chart here)

 Cardio

I totally nailed the cardio aspect of this challenge. I got my cardio and completed each of the five 'required' week days cardio workouts.   On the weekend I didn't do any formal exercise routine but rather  stayed busy with life and yard work and other manual labor things.  (I used the push mower and did all the trim work, I weeded a LOT, I moved downed tree branches to the burn pile, took mulch from our big pile and mulched a complete path, etc.  )

Admittedly, there was a one day (Day one actually) were the cardio just about killed me.  OK, killed is rather dramatic!   But seriously, that day I was NOT feeling it and wanted to quit every one of those 20 minutes!  But I stayed consistent and completed it.  The only thing that kept me from quitting was this 10 week challenge!

While I did have my day of struggle, I also had some victorious days where I went above and beyond to complete 40-50 minutes of cardio.  Some in one sitting and once with a double workout! (Once before work and once after work, for 20 minutes a piece.)

Water

I nailed my water consumption also!  Totally nailed it.  I did so well on this that toward the end of the week I went from 64 ounces of water consumption to 80 ounces.  I did have a few issues with bathroom trips in the middle of the night on one day when I didn't get my water done early enough in the day. My typical plan for water is to drink the bulk of my water during the day and to be done heavy drinking by 5PM.  I still drink in the evening, but not as much.  This has historically always been the trick to keep me from getting up a gazillion times in the night for a potty break. I didn't do that one night this week and I lived to regret it with multiple bathroom trips that interrupted my sleep.  But I learned my lesson and didn't do that again! 

Strength

As you can see from the above chart the strength stuff is really just functional movements.   I am embarrassed to admit how difficult these have become for me.  There was a day just a few short years ago that these movements were NOTHING.   I remember when Jason and I were talking about planks one day in our early days of dating.  We did a plank challenge to see who could hold it the longest.  I lowered to a plank and  held it....and held it....and held it.  Minutes upon minutes.  No shaking, no quaking no struggle.  I just held that plank.  This week I discovered that my plank ability has disappeared.  5-10 seconds was a struggle.  How sobering is that?

It wasn't just the plank that was difficult. The sit ups and crunches were tough and the wall sits were murder.    I don't know why I was so shocked at how difficult they had really become.  If I am being honest with myself, simple functional movement in life has become quite difficult for me in the last year.   It was seemingly overnight that it became difficult for me to kneel and then stand again.   Even sitting down and standing again has felt like a lumbering chore.   It has freaked me out.  It happened overnight.  I'm only 51! I'm too young for that!  This challenge is a place to start to regain that movement!

It was difficult, but I completed my week of movement for this aspect of the 10 week challenge.  I may have had to do my planks in 5 second intervals.  My push-ups may have been the sissy version and barely a push up at that.    I may have been shaking and struggling on the wall sits and my sit ups and crunches may have not been perfect or even correct.  But I did them!

Food and the Scales

I did great with my eating!  I kept my calories within the proper range each and every day.   I had a few struggles through the week, but I kept it under control.  I was so super proud of myself!   So how in the world did I manage to only maintain my weight?    I was sure that I was going to show a loss!  How could it be anything else?   Yet, the weight didn't budge.  (In fairness, it didn't go up either, which is a good thing!)

How disappointing!  How demoralizing!  How utterly horrible!

On to week Two of the 10 Week Challenge

I'm not letting it get to me though.  I made great first steps toward regaining some of the mobility that has been slowly slipping away.  I have been drinking my water.  I've been exercising.  And my food has been controlled.   What I did would have been enough to see BIG losses in past years.  However, it's not working for me now.  My body and hormones are adjusting, so that means I need to adjust also.   I just need to tweak one or two things to start losing.  I can't blame it on anything other than my food this time because I've gotten all the components for success in place.  So food is where I am focusing.

My first thought was to up my protein.  I've heard protein is huge for a woman of my age.  So I did my research to see how much a 51 year old woman should be eating.  I then went to Myfitnesspal to see what my recommended daily amount was. (It was the same.)   I then looked at my past week to find out where my stats lay.   I was pretty spot on with my protein.   There may have been one day that was a bit lower.  But for the most part I was spot on.  So I knew that protein was not the issue. (However, I will continue to monitor and try to increase wherever I can.)

So that left me with my second thought.   Calories.   I have long kept my calories at a low level.  1200-1500 is my range (and honestly, I prefer to keep them 1200-1300 for weight loss).     Now immediately, I know that some people will be like 'well that is your problem, it's too low".  BUT, I have long tried to hold on to some semblance of normalcy.  I am already hyper focused on tracking my food, I wanted to retain some sense of freedom by not weighing and measuring every bite of food I eat.  So for me, the lower calorie count is my way or allowing myself to not measure everything and to not worry about counting that squirt of ketchup or drizzle of chocolate syrup.  It has historically worked for me, so I had no thoughts that it wasn't working.  But clearly SOMETHING is not working.  So, the goal for this upcoming week is to measure, weigh and count EVERYTHING.   It's possible I will need to do this long term.  However, it is possible that I just need a reset of my mental judgement for measurements and portion sizes.

Honestly, I am NOT looking forward to this.  I have always resisted losing this last piece of freedom.  But it is what it is!   I want change to occur, so that means I need to change.   Crazy that that thought of change came to me a few days ago.....and this disappointment on the scale that has forced me to look at myself and forced  ME to change.   I don't like the view of where my life is going without change.......so I will change myself to change my future!





Saturday, August 03, 2024

Fred , Oh Finicky Fred - Sourdough Experiences

In the true typical MaryFran trend of jumping from hobby to hobby and constantly picking up something new that 'looks interesting and I really should know how", I decided to try to perfect a sourdough bread.  OH yes, I did.

I researched and I totally realized that I could buy sourdough starter from a variety of places online.  For that matter, I could get sourdough starter from any number of people.  However, isn't that cheating in the grand scheme of  learning how to do it from start to finish?   It seemed relatively simple, mix water and flour and let sit 24 hours.....repeat.   And keep repeating until it is consistently doubling in size after you feed it.   I was all in!  I even went out and ordered a really neat little sourdough starter kit.  This was going to be a breeze!

Except it was not.  My first attempt wouldn't grow.  I lovingly fed that sucker religiously.  I watched it daily as it sat on my counter waiting for the magic bubbles to indicate active and natural yeast in the starter.  I waited in vain for over a week and it never got the bubbles or doubled.  I just wouldn't grow!  I researched more, adapted some new techniques and tried again.  I was still clinging to hope that my first round would experience a miracle and start to show signs of life so I kept that one going while I started round two.   I now had two jars of starter that I cared for every morning. This time was going to be the magic, I just knew it!   Every day while I would tend to them Jason would come into the kitchen and excitedly ask if we had any signs of life.   Dejectedly, I would have to respond with negative shake of my head.  

I watched more videos and read more articles.  Everything and everyone talked about how sourdough was so forgiving, hard to kill and easy to feed and keep alive.  Yet, here I was with two jars of seemingly dead starter.  I was undaunted and started a THIRD jar of starter, trying new techniques that I had learned.  (A quick perusal of sourdough starter instructions will show you that everyone does it a bit differently, with 'great success'.)    By this time I was going through flour faster than a bakery at Christmas!  Because every day I was adding four and water to each of these jars (and doing a daily discard so that my amount of sourdough starter didn't get out of hand).  Surely one of them would be magical!     By the time another week had passed with no growth in ANY jar, I had decided that enough was enough.   Jars one and two were emptied and I started yet another jar of starter. Jars three and found had my full attention.  Jar three never accounted to much. But  finally, by some stroke of benevolence that fourth jar worked!   

I was so happy, I had active starter.  However, this starter didn't seem to grow EVERY day, it had days where it seemed angry with me.  If I changed it to a different container (as in the special container I bought at the very beginning) it would not grow and double.  If I missed the normal feeding time, it wouldn't double in size for the next two feedings (feeding is what you call the act of adding more flour and water).  If I fed it anything other than Rye flour, it wouldn't double in size.  This starter was anything but easy, it was downright finicky!   I started to call it Finicky Fred.  Of course Jason kept telling me that if it was finicky it must be a female.  ha 

I attempted to use the discard a few times, once by making pop tarts (which turned out way too sour to really enjoy) and once by making crackers (they weren't too bad).   I then tried to make a loaf of bread.  It was super tasty, but a little dense.   Fred showed his displeasure by not rising the day or two after I  made the bread.  (I kid you not....it's insane).    I stayed faithful to Fred.  I kept feeding him the rye flour.  I used jars that he liked.  I kept my feeding schedule as consistent as humanly possible.   I was determined to make Fred a nice strong starter.

Finally this past week I decided to switch to a whole wheat flour for a feeding (seriously Rye flour is a pain to find and is a bit more expensive).    Fred did GREAT!   I pulled some of the starter out and I set about making sourdough english muffins and Fred performed well!  My dough rose and the english muffins turned out great.  Even better  when I fed Fred afterward, he doubled! 

Hopefully finicky Fred is past his finicky stage and I can move on to making all sorts of fun things!  He may not be finicky any longer


, but the name Fred has stuck! 


Friday, August 02, 2024

Thursday, August 01, 2024

This dog

 Zoey was a fun addition to our little family.  And sometimes she is adorable!  But sometimes this dog drives me to insanity.   She can swing wildly between the angel dog behavior  and the devil dog persona at the drop of a hat!


While at work I noticed Mertz the cat sleeping with her feet pushed up against the foot board.   Of course I had to take a picture of her.   




Which of course woke her up. But hey, she was still cute. This was in my office/spare room where Zoey is not allowed.  Not because I don’t want the dog in there, but because the office is the cats dog free zone.   Zoey sits at the baby gate in the door so she can be as close to me as possible during my work day.  So she of course noticed me taking a picture of the cat.  She was immediately jealous.

For the next hour or two, this is what I saw.



Yes, Zoey had pushed her big fat head through the cat door in the car and sat there giving me the saddest look to make me feel guilty for paying attention to the cat and not her.


Awwwww  how sweet.


But remember I mentioned devil dog.   I was working on the strength moves that are part of my 10 week challenge.  The dog doesn’t like me doing anything on HER floor.  She made planks difficult the other day.  Today it was the situps/crunches that caused her to flip to the other side!    




Meanwhile, I have aced 3 almost four days  of my 10 week challenge!  Go me!