Finding Balance

 A few weeks ago, I wrote a bit about how I sometimes think that weight loss has overcome my life.  I sometimes feel as if that is my full identity.  I am simply a weight loss person.   I can see how that would happen as I am working on year 18 of posting about my weight loss journey.   But there is more to me than that and I want to really explore those other sides of me a bit more fully. I'm on a quest to find balance in my life.  So buckle up, it's time to explore and get back to the basics.   Ok, that sounded way too dramatic.  It's nothing that crazy, I just decided to purge what isn't working and rediscover what brings me joy and happiness.  In small ways these things have been discussed over these last 17.5 years, so it shouldn't come as a shock.  

Purge and Rediscovery

The quest to purge and rediscover started from two events.  The first was a conversation that I had with my mother.   Mom had a stroke about a year ago, and it has been a really rough ride for her (for all of us).  She is unhappy and miserable with her life.  I was talking to her about happiness and how we have to look for happiness sometimes in our lives.   I was talking to her (which fell on deaf ears unfortunately) but my words came right back around to slap me in the face.   What am I doing in my life to make myself a happier person.  Sure, I'm happy and totally in love, but is there a limit to happiness?  Shouldn't we always be striving for more?  What do I do on a daily basis that makes me happy?   What COULD I be doing to bring about more happiness?

The second thing that set my mind a spinning was all centered around some of my belongings that I have in storage.  When I got divorced back in 2014, my brother allowed me to store some of my belongings in the upstairs of his workshop.  I have gotten some of the stuff over the last few years, but some of the 'odder' things have remained up there.   I have my thin clothes, canning jars and supplies, cookbooks, my medicine bottle collection, and who knows what else. The other week I was up there getting some jars for canning and making plans to get that stuff out of there to free up his space.  Obviously, some of the stuff will be used eventually. (I WILL fit into those clothes again!)   But I have decided to purge a fair amount of the stuff.  It is time to simplify my life. Remove the excess.  Excess only weighs us down and really does not bring us happiness.  There was a time where collecting medicine bottles did bring me happiness, but it doesn't anymore, so it's time to purge and move on.   So, it's a season to purge from my life that which is not necessary or is not bringing me happiness.

Rediscovering Photography

I used to do so much photography.  I loved it.  It was my salvation and outlet during a sad time in my life.  When I was able to move past that sadness, I almost couldn't bear to pick up the camera.  It was almost as if I had poured all of my sadness into the camera through my photography.  For a few years after my divorce, I would try to pick up the camera, but the sadness seemed to hit me every time I touched the camera.  It was easier to walk away and not dabble in photography than to deal with the sadness that came from nowhere. (Seriously, the camera oozed with sadness).   Over the years, I have carried my camera along on vacations and hikes and slowly the camera has become something that is more fun for me.  I think it's time to get back to photography.  My skill level with different settings has all but disappeared.  I'm hoping that it will come back quickly!  But I have been having fun the last few days with my camera!

I have toyed with trying to do a photo a day project, where I take one picture every day.  I did that years ago and actually managed to take a picture a day for two or three years.  I loved the process, but it got dull and boring some days to find something to photograph.  I work from home which makes my world during the week quite small.   I don't want something so restrictive.  I want to take a picture because I enjoy it, not because I NEED to!   So instead, maybe I will just aim to have a collection of good pics each month...no stressing on the number though.  

Reading Like Crazy

I never really lost reading.   I have never been far from a book, even in my darkest moments.  But sometimes in the hustle of life reading gets pushed on the back burner.  I love love love to read!  I always have and I don't want it to get shoved to the back burner.  I have recently decided to write a short review of each book I read.  I'm doing it for a few reasons.  Number one, because it keeps me writing (another thing I enjoy).  But secondly, it will also will give me a document that I can refer to when I can't remember if I read a book and/or what the book was about.  I am posting those on a different site but am toying with pulling them to this site and consolidating everything into one place!  I have been reading like crazy since I started this.  It is a nice way to wrap up the book, in my head at least.  

I just finished reading the book  Doctor Ice Pick which is a sobering read about the doctor who completed thousands of lobotomies across the country.  I've been reading a lot of non fiction lately but feel it may be time for a quick mindless fictional read! 

Simple but Tiring

I was walking through the yard the other day and realized that our mulberries trees are producing ripe berries.  I was not going to let that go to waste!  My father used to make a big deal about picking mulberries and eating them.  I honestly don't recall him taking them home, but it was always a topic of conversation when they were in season and I remember him eating them. So, it was with memories of my father that I took my bowls and containers outside and picked mulberries.  Of course I ate a few while I was out there. But I had grand plans for my berries.   I turned those berries into jelly and syrup!  I have lots of jars preserved!  It is so simple and basic but utterly rewarding.   It was also incredibly tiring.  My body was so tired! Wait, maybe I should say that I have about 30 jars of syrup and about the same amount of jelly.   So it wasn't just a single batch!  It was good honest fun!  And so tasty too!

Weight Loss

I am not forsaking my weight loss roots.  Being healthy is a different form of happiness.  Weight loss is still a big part of my life.  I have been struggling of late.  My weight has been in the same 3-5 pound range.  I know that while I'm not eating horribly that I could be doing a whole lot more. So today I got serious and dusted off my tracker.  Well, I virtually dusted it off.  I started putting my food into myfitnesspal.  I have been woefully lacking in consistency of late.  Tracking for me is the first step.   Baby steps.  I can do this!

Balance

So much of life is simply a balancing act.  Over the years, my focus and attention shifted to one aspect of life; creating an unhealthy balance.  It's time to bring it back into balance and focus on more of what makes me the happiest version of me.  So stay tuned, I will be continuing to share the ups and downs (hopefully more ups) of a weight loss journey.  However, I will also be sharing more of my other side.  My pets, my husband (what he will allow me to share), reading, photography, writing and a little bit of everything else.