Kick in the Teeth

​When life kicks you in the teeth it’s all about you you keep going.   I’ve written about something similar before when I have said , we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.   This past year has been a living testament to that saying.  It has been one heck of a year!

This past week we celebrated the first year anniversary of owning our house.    I could only laugh because a year ago it was about 512 degrees outside while we were moving!  (Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration.)  This year the weather was sunny and cool!  I would have loved to have had the cool weather last year, but we  persevered and did it.  (It was the longest move ever as we literally took 2 months to completely move out of our apartment …we finished up the day before our lease was up!). The year anniversary caused my mind to reflect and look at the last year and it’s challenges and victories.

The challenges started with the move to our new house and the unending mowing duties.  I was so tired and exhausted I. The first weeks that I would literally sit on the couch and cry. On more than one occasion I was too exhausted to eat, and for me that is very telling!  That was challenge number one.    The challenges grew harder with my mom’s stroke, the fear about possibly losing my job (twice), Jason’s run in with an axe, the worry about him and then the ensuing financial battle as he didn’t work for quite a few months. 

I would like to say that I handled everything with grace.  I would love to say that I accepted every challenge with a pep in my step and an ‘I will overcome’ attitude each time.    Some challenges I totally nailed!  I accepted them and allowed greatness to happen.  The exhaustion from the constant move and the unaccustomed hours of yard work I totally rocked!   Sure I cried from the sheer exhaustion, but I kept going. And something amazing happened.   The pain in my body started to fade!   I got stronger!  What was difficult turned easy!  I stayed positive and I became a better person!

Like I said though, some of the challenges I struggled with. I have battled with depressive feelings this year as I have worried about finances.  Hello, we were down a paycheck for about five months and for about 6 months the longevity of my paycheck was in question.  I wish I would have taken those challenges in hand a bit better. Luckily it wasn’t a total failure on how I faced those financial challenges.  I stressed and obsessed a lot.  It would be in waves…sometimes I would be a nervous wreck and at others I would be ‘we got this’.  And I know that I probably drove Jason mad with my worry at times. But for the most part I allowed my fears and worries to rule my thoughts and actions. What could have happened had I not let the stress rule my life?

My mom has faced the biggest  challenge of her life this last year.   Life kicked her in the teeth.  She has fallen apart.  Life is all about how you react to things that happen  and how you go on. My mom failed.   My mom has chosen, yes chosen to focus on the negative.  In her way of thinking, there is nothing positive in her life and she makes sure she lets me know.  Visits with her are tough.  The constant negativity toward everything is emotionally taxing.  Because as I said, my mom has chosen to wallow in her self pity.   She has not realized that this experience where she is totally out of her comfort zone could transform her mind and spirit into something magical.    

Our first year in our house was rough, really rough.  I hope that year two will be better!   But I know that at the very least I will be confronted with the residual effects of the previous year (financial for one as we dig out of those mo the of half our income…months that were expensive due to medical bills…even with insurance).   It won’t be comfortable for me.  It won’t be easy.  But I have decided to accept the discomfort with grace and a smile on my face.   When  I’m uncomfortable and chose to accept it with a smile and positive attitude I will experience the magical moments of life!  Bring on the magic!