Positive Steps

​I know, two posts in a week when I’ve been quiet as of late!   I guess that means things are settling down!  Maybe.    I have started a new routine for my day  and I’m quite proud of myself for it!!!!  

Yard Work

The yard work continues.  During the week it’s a lighter work…usually.  But I do throw some extra tasks in there to up my activity level.    Most days my main task is watering.  It’s hot..and dry.   We have a lot of freshly planted trees…and plants.  Water water water.   Yesterday I added turning the compost pile and attacking a pile of brush that is beside the fire pit…cutting and stacking it into manageable pieces for a fire.   Movement on my body…it’s a good thing….right?

The mowing won’t happen again until this weekend.  (We we’re not expecting to get a place with property so I hadn’t budgeted for a riding lawn mower…which will make it a bit easier.  We have a possibility but it’s been delayed. Hopefully soon).  Weirdly enough, I’m looking forward to the 3-4 hour exercise.  Ok…on one hand I dread it…but I know it’s doing my body good…soooo I kinda look forward to it to see how my body handles it.  I can see it get easier each week!    Even after we get the riding mower I will probably still be push mowing….around trees and tight spots.    

Tracking my Food

I have actually started tracking my food.  I’m doing fairly well with tracking. Actually I am doing splendid with my tracking.   My calories haven’t been totally where I want them to be…but I’ve been relatively close so I’m good with that.  And by relatively close I mean that I have been about 1500 calories.  I know…that is still an awesome calorie count…but it for some reason doesn’t work for my body.  And true to form I haven’t seen any weight dropping from my body.  But that’s ok.  I’m doing good things for my body in the meantime.

The New Routine

So what is this new routine that I alluded to earlier?   Well, I have been getting back on the exercise bike…I missed one day because I was making phone calls during the break that I have set aside to ride.    So that is one routine I’m bringing back.  The other?   I have started to do Zumba again.  Not in a class setting.  (Weirdly enough I couldn’t find any in person classes in this town…I think covid is still affecting exercise classes).  I have looked at the Zumba classes that you can buy a spot in a stream and do live.  And I will probably try that at some point.   But what I have been doing is I went to YouTube.  Yup.  The first person I did a workout with did everything leading with her right foot…and no cues anywhere and that annoyed me. The leading with the right foot annoyed me most…it created and off balance workout.   The cues…I just got used to my most awesome Zumba instructor Anita (this lady is as awesome as I said in this post)!   She led her classes and directed us with hand motions so that we always had a wee cue of the next step to take.   I missed that.   So after that one day with the lopsided clueless instructor, I headed to a different Zumba channel and I struck gold.  This guy without saying a word makes me smile.  (Literally he reminds us to smile).  He exercises both sides of the body equally.  And he gives physical cues to help us through the workout.  Yay!

I’m having to stay on the basic level for some of the moves….I can’t amp everything up to high intensity yet.   I also am still learning his moves and cues so I look like a list exerciser sometimes.  But I have been rolling the Zumba exercise each morning at around 6:30-7AM (depends on when I get my housecleaning done!). I may arrive at my desk a little sweaty…but hey, I work from home…who cares.  Especially since I’ll get sweaty again on my first break when I do the yard walk through to pick up downed tree limbs and whatnot  (I carry a bucket and weed as I go)…and I’ll get sweaty again on my lunch when I ride the exercise bike….and that last break bike ride also.  And I’ll get sweaty again when I go out for yard work when I get off from work.   

Ahhh work from home is great.  Even more great…finally taking control of my fitness level…accepting the lowered fitness level and taking the steps to change it!    Next up getting my food totally in line…that will come.  I know I’m much more cognizant when I eat now because my thought is ‘did I just sweat for that Zumba class only to negate the calories with such and such’. 

The work in progress that I am  is starting to make steps in the right direction again!!! 

Pushing to the Light at the End of the Tunnel

 The last few weeks have been difficult.  Oh my, have they been hard!   I haven't kept it a secret that we moved.  I have even talked about the sheer exhaustion.  What I haven't talked about is how bad it has been.  I guess I didn't want to admit how far I have slipped!    As bad as it has been, I have not given up and I have pushed through and I am FINALLY starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.....I think!

The Pain

A few weeks ago I wrote about my utter exhaustion from the combination of the move and the unfamiliar yard work upon my body.   What I didn't write about was the fact that I was in tears from the pain in my legs.   I would sit and contemplate moving because I knew as soon as I moved my body would be screaming in freakish agony at the absolute murdering pain in my muscles.   I couldn't sleep at night because the muscles in my body were literally vibrating with pain.  I'm telling you, I was in bad shape!  There were many nights I cried from the sheer 'torture' that I was putting my body through.   

Even as I sat in tears, I battled with embarrassment.  A few years back I was in amazing shape.  I was still overweight but I was in the best physical shape of my entire life.   It was absolutely nothing for me to wake up early on a Saturday morning.  I would go for a 3-5 mile run and then go home, grab some water and then head outside to push mow for about 45 minutes.   I would then go inside, eat breakfast, shower and shortly thereafter head out to go hiking with Jason....and we usually hiked between 7 and 12 miles (depending on where we hiked) and usually up some mountain. I would be tired, but I was never down and out.  I was never not able to sleep because of the muscle aches.  I was never in tears because of the pain.  I would wake up the next day anxious to head back into the mountain for the next hike!  

Pushing Through

I am not going to lie.  During these recent weeks I wanted to give up. I wanted to stop the madness that was causing me pain.  I wanted to throw up my hands and settle into my world of 'unfitness'.  I didn't want or need this misery!   I didn't though.     As bad as I felt, I kept going.   Tears and sleepless nights meant nothing.  The next day I headed back out the door to mow, to move, to water our new trees (the first weeks by carrying 5 gallon buckets to each tree) , to plant flowers, to clear brush.  I gritted my teeth and I kept going.   I CHOSE more difficult options on a regular basis.   Which push mower did I chose?  Do you want the self propelled mower or the standard one?   I consistently have used the mower that is NOT self propelled.  Wait until we have a wheel barrow to move that pile of rocks?  Nope, I can do it one at a time...by hand!  Good exercise you know.   Even though my body was screaming at me!  I didn't stop, but just kept going.    I won't sugar coat it though, I have never been so happy to know that it was a weekday where I would be working.   You see, work days were my 'recovery days'.   

I kept telling myself that there would come a moment where it would get easier.  There would come a moment where my body wouldn't ache in freakish misery when I worked out in the yard.  The day is getting closer and while it's not totally here, I can see just this weekend how much better my body is adjusting to this 'new life'.   We mowed yesterday.  We are currently push mowing our property....and it takes about 7-8 hours TOTAL.   We have two push mowers at the moment so I mow for about 4 hours.  We also cleared brush from a stand of trees.  (and got to add a cherry tree to our list of fruit bearing trees and plants!) and of course watered.  (I chose to carry the water to the outlying plants versus using the hose...more exercise right....still choosing the hardest option).    I can't say that I was ready to go out dancing last night.  My legs were tired.  But my legs were NOT aching with utter misery.  They were not vibrating and so sore that the pain kept me awake.  And there was definitely NO tears.  

I still have a way to go.  I want to get back to the point where I do not even have the 'tiredness'. in my legs.    I want to get back to the fitness level that I was at a short 6 or 7 years ago.  But I can see that I am on my way!  I am not giving up!   It may hurt, but that is only my body getting stronger!  And maybe, just maybe; since I'm not totally wiped out maybe I can add in some exercise through the week!

Weight Loss Efforts

My vows that I have made in recent posts about tracking food and whatnot have not been executed to the degree that needs to happen.  I have been  morecognizant of my eating. I have stopped the nightly sweet treats.  BUt I haven't been spot on.  I haven't tracked. So in essence I haven't really been working on my food intake all that much.  HOWEVER, I have managed to lose about 6-7 pounds since we moved!     I'll take it!  Now I just need to get serious and actually work on my food intake.  

Four weeks

​Today will mark Four weeks since we settled on our new house…and this upcoming Friday will mark 4 weeks since we have been living in this house.  What a crazy four weeks it has been! There have been tears.  There has been lots of hard work.  There has been lots of happiness. And let’s not forget lots and lots of moving!

Exhaustion

I have spent most of the last four weeks in a state of pure and utter exhaustion.  Most of the time I have been physically and/or mentally exhausted.  Our moving plan (based on necessity as it has just been the two of us)  has been amazingly long and utterly draining.   The last time I wrote (two weeks ago) I wrote about this. Luckily at that point ‘most’ of the big stuff was moved and we only had one more big load.  I had been optimistically hoping to get a lot of our boxes in there during that load.  But my grand plans were not to be.   We had some bulky odd shaped items that took up lots of room.  (Portable quilting frame…big perch/playground for our bird….just to name two).

Every night after work, Jason stops by the apartment and fills up his car with boxes and ‘goodies’ from the apartment. (I had everything packed and in the living room).   We unload his car and the next day I spend my spare time (before and after work, breaks and my lunch time) to unpack those boxes…or to move the storage items to the basement.  The apartment is mostly empty and devoid of boxes…there are some things left…but not much. (This week will finish that up).  The plan is to next week go and clean that place so that we can turn our key in and be totally done.

On top of the move, we have had yard work.   We are adjusting to the yard work and never have enough time in the weekend to get things done.   The property was rented for years and the yard shows the disinterest of renters.  Flower beds are overgrown.  The garden path is in disarray.  This will definitely be the year of reclaiming.  So we have spent hours upon hours doing yard work.

So to boil this all down.  There has been more than day when the utter exhaustion breaks me down.  Some days I’m in tears from the physical exhaustion.  But I have had days when I’ve been overwhelmed mentally as I’m trying to shuffle it all and I just want to cry. (Ha..ok I admit…I have cried.).  Right now it is a thing of just trying to keep our heads above the water.  And luckily, this never ending move is ALMOST behind us.  Also almost behind us (hopefully) is the need to push mow this property….which with two mowers running at the same time takes us about 3.5 hours.    So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Weight Loss Efforts

So what about my weight loss efforts?  I just laugh and say,  “What efforts!”  I didn’t get my scale until last weekend and my years long habit of weighing myself every morning was broken…and most mornings I don’t even think about it.   I have tried to curb the desserts…I vowed last week this time to get serious and track food and make healthy choices.  But, let’s admit, I haven’t tried very hard!   

Let’s however give credit where credit is due.  We are back to eating at home…and that includes healthy servings of vegetables.  

So, after a few weeks of moving and ‘hard labor’ but crazy eating what happened on the scales?  I brought them home a week ago.  I was fearful when I stepped on. But, I dropped 5 pounds.   All I’m going to say is that is a true testament as to how hard I have been working because I have been eating ‘vacation levels’ of food and I have gained 5-10 pounds on those weeks….and here I just ate like that for a month but actually lost weight.

I am not a fool though.  I know that if I don’t curb the eating…like NOW, that I will start to gain weight sooner or later as things start to settle down.  So I am vowing that today is the day.  I’m done with the constant barrage of desserts that pass my list.  I am done with the plethora of snacks that find their way into my hands.  I am vowing to clean up my eating starting here and now (it’s Monday morning as I wrote this).

My body has felt like death much of this experience.  I have been in pain.  It’s been really difficult. And the worst part about it is that I know that I feel horrible because I let myself go!  I gained weight over the last 10 years.  I have let my fitness level slip away.  And I am paying the price right now.

So I know that it has to change!  And I’m vowing to start that change today.  My body is still being abused with moving (almost done) so I’m not planning on diving into heavy exercise yet…but cleaning up my eating….game on!!!