Seriously????

I am so disgusted today!    It’s not my official weigh in day...but it is not looking good for that day when it comes!   My weight is just doing it’s own thing and not exactly going down...it actually has been high this week!

Ok, so maybe my weight isn’t doing it’s ‘own thing’.  I have played a part....in one way at least!

On Monday I totally fell apart.  I ate my planned lunch....and still felt so hungry.  I grabbed an extra item for lunch....and then another...and then another.  It just didn’t stop!    In fairness...my calories were not that high....they were still in a range that theoretically I should be losing. But I know that my body just doesn’t lose ‘theoretically’ and that I need to be at the lower calorie level to actually lose.   

All week long my calories were in that ‘theoretical’ loss range.....

Add to that....the monthly ick has arrived and that has always popped my pounds up 2-3 pounds. 

But....I’m still getting my 5.61 miles (actually I end up with about 7 each day on average) each day!  I am slaying that exercise thing!!!

Stay the course

I had a good week!   I feel as if I did great actually!   

I am still doing great with my riding and walking!  I am consistently getting on that exercise bike (Amazon link) and riding each day!!!  What a great purchase we made a year ago.   That first year I rode the bike sporadically, but this month I have putting the miles on the bike!  I am actually ahead of myself with miles and I am greedily banking miles to account for a rainy day when I honestly can’t ride for some VALID reason.  Nope, it is tempting to think ‘oh I’m ahead in miles, I can take a day off’. But that is a bad habit so I am riding and getting in my miles each and every day.   (One day I didn’t ride but got my miles through waking!) 

I can’t wait to share my statistics for the month of January....and I’m planning a monthly recap post to do that.....but I’m getting ahead of myself....we still have another week in this month for me to show progress and success!

Food wise, I feel as if I did fabulously!   My calories were well in line with my caloric goal and I couldn’t be happier!  I ended up eating a bit higher in carbs than normal and that seemed to be affecting the numbers on the scale!  But I knew that even though it may have been a bit higher in complex carbs that I was eating very nutritiously and I was ok with that. 

I woke up on my weigh in day and I laid in bed and I had a sense of dread.   I just had this feeling that it was going to be bad.   The night before we had scrapped the planned dinner and the substitution was not overly healthy and a lot higher in calories than I had planned.  That alone is not a big issue...the issue is that I had already eaten a lot of calories for lunch (knowing that dinner was low in calories).  So to say that I was worried was an understatement!

But.......

Somehow my weight was down.  2 pounds!   What??? I have no clue how!   Maybe the whoosh affect ?  I don’t know!  But whatever the reason, I was happy!    

Now in fairness, my weight popped up a half pound the next day...but we are not talking about that...we are talking about my official weigh in!!!  

I think that changing my thinking to focus on this as two different journeys that are side by side...hand in hand....but totally different is the way to go for me!   I don’t know...but it’s working and I’m running with it!!!!

And just because he is so stinking cute...I will leave you with a picture of kiwi.. our high red green cheek conure!  

It's a battle

 Just recently I was thinking about my weight loss journey over the years.  Throughout the years I have been either hot on the trail of weight loss or I have been amazingly active. It seems as if I can never have both things at the same time.  Yet if I had both things in line at the same time I would be absolutely golden!  But it never seems to happen that way.  

Years back I called myself the fattest fit person...because I was in the obese category but I was running daily, going to zumba, riding my bike, hiking and all sorts of activities.  But I wasn't losing weight!   There have been times where I was losing amazing amounts of weight...but I wasn't being active!  Why can I not get both of these things under control at once!  And then this week it hit me.  There is a battle between the two! 

All along I have in my mind linked getting fit with losing weight.  And don't get me wrong, they do go hand in hand.  The food I eat is what fuels me to do the activity.  The activity I do is what helps burn excess calories. It all works together.  But this week I realized that I have been erroneous!  I have been making these two things all one in the same when in reality I am on TWO different journeys!  I am on a journey to lose weight.  But I am also on a journey to get fit.   Similar...but two totally different journeys!

I need to start focusing on each of these as their own entity!  You see,  I set a huge fitness goal for my year 2021.  I planned to do my mileage of 201 miles for the year. And I went into the new year totally focused on that fitness challenge. I was thinking that I had covered my bases and I had good goals for the year!    And it is a great goal.  I have been super focused on working toward that goal and to take the steps that I need to in order to reach that goal.  It has been awesome (and stressful).  But seriously...that's a fitness goal.  Sure, my weight may come off as a side effect of me pursuing that goal, but am I doing anything about my weight??  What about a weight related goal???? What about my weight loss journey????

You see...I was focused on one thing and since it was lumped together I thought I was good!  But no...I need to be focused on what I can do for my weight loss efforts also!  So right here and right now I am setting a goal.  And let me tell you, I am cringing to write this out...because I HATE to set weight loss goals.  Sometimes there are factors out of our control that keep us from losing weight.  And I don't want to set myself up for failure!  But I am roughly 47 pounds away from 200 pounds.  Sooooo my goal for the year 2021 is to get under 200 pounds.  That is one pound a week!  I know what I need to do in order to reach it!     Now if my body and mind cooperate I'll be good!

So I really am on two journeys.  The first journey is to lose weight!  The second journey is to be fit!  They are both equally important.  They will both benefit each other.  But they are two very separate journeys!!!!  I've got this!!!

Weigh in Victory

 This was a crazy week.  I  was sure that my weight loss was going to be non existent!  I was sure that I was going to post a failure.  I clung to the fact that I was riding the bike at least......but hold on, I'm getting ahead of myself!  

 2021 miles in 2021

So lets talk about the mile challenge!  I admittedly had my moments of feeling totally overwhelmed by the sheer enormity (for me) of my challenge.  When I allow myself to think about what I have yet to achieve and how many more days I have to consistently get my miles I just want to cry!   Yes, cry!  I feel a bit defeated just thinking about it!   BUT....I stepped back and decided to not think about the sheer amount of numbers I have left to complete.  I am choosing to not think about how many more days of constantly grinding out miles I have left.    I am looking at each and every day as an individual challenge.    My goal is to get 5.61 miles today.  I'm not worried about tomorrow...only focused on 'today'.  And while it is still a huge goal, I feel so much better about it.  

I also had a breakthrough in my thoughts.  I have long struggled to get steps each day.  When I first signed up for this challenge I was thinking that I would be able to count  my daily steps.  But the full rules were revealed to me only a day or so before the challenge began when it was announced that only miles that are specifically exercise miles count.  I started the challenge with that mantra and I was good with it.   I had a one day at work when I was calling an insurance company and they announced that the hold times were going to be very high. (like over 20 minutes).  I stood up and walked in place for those 20 minutes (which actually turned out to be quite a few more minutes...close to 80 minutes on hold....were  walked in place at my desk).  It was 'purposeful steps' so it counted.   A week later I had another 'announced' long hold.  So I stood up and walked in place.  It was during that experience that i realized that for ME that not counting my steps are inhibiting me and not encouraging me to get any extra steps...even if it is 100 steps here and 100 steps there.    

So I have a change.  While I was originally ok with the not counting my steps. I wanted to change it to encourage me to get extra steps no matter when or how.  So  I went back and looked at how many steps I get on an 'average' day where we don't walk after work...a sedentary day.   That is my  first number.  The next number I needed was to find out how  many steps I take per each mile.    The third number is my fluctuating number each day...my daily step total.   So each day I do a simple math equation.  

Total steps for the day  - (minus)  Sedentary Day steps =   Extra steps for the day    I then take the number I got for my extra steps for the day and divide it by the number that I have for how many steps I take in an average mile.    And that is my walking mileage!  This encourages me to stand up and walk and earn steps!   I hope to take my daily total of steps from barely scraping 5000 to many many more each day!  (If I use a GPS counter for a run or a hike then I will also deduct that from my daily step count!)   I started this just on Friday and I am very happy with it.  

Ohhh two more tidbits about my mileage thus far!   Number one, I am over 20 miles AHEAD for the year!  I am not planning on using those miles unless I absolutely need to.  I know there will come a day where something happens and I am honestly unable to complete my miles.....so those banked miles are for unavoidable issues!   Number two....Jason told me last night that he is proud of me.  He expected me to already have stopped and quit the challenge because it is soooo big.   

My Weigh In

I struggled a bit early in the week with my daily weigh ins.  But I did not give up.  I readjusted and moved on.  And when I stepped on the scales I almost danced a jig. (OH wait, I did!)   I lost 2 pounds!!!!

So I had a super successful week!  I am so proud of me!!!!!!

Cheating

 Recently I had someone bring up the word cheat in conjunction with a person that is on a healthy lifestyle.  I read their words and I really thought about them!  In response, I am eradicating the word from my healthy lifestyle.  And you can bet I'm going to tell you why!!!!

Before I go into the act of cheating in a diet/lifestyle, lets talk about a few places that cheating can happen in life:

* Cheating in a marriage.  If you are in a relationship and you find out that your partner has cheated on you....it's a bad thing!  A REALLY bad thing!  Believe me, it's bad!  You never want to have someone cheat on you! Cheating...not a good thing! IN fact, many times, cheating can end a relationship/marriage!  It is disastrous!

*Cheating on an exam.  You are taking an exam and you decide to cheat a little bit.  Is it right?  NO, you know it's not right.  It might bring about the desired results, but at what price.  If you get caught you could end up failing the exam which could have extremely disastrous ramifications in your life depending on what the exam is tied to.  (you could fail school...lose a job...etc).  Cheating on an exam is apparently not a good thing either!

So why in the world do we feel it is ok and a good thing to 'cheat' during our journey to lose weight. We have cheat meals....we have cheat days....we cheat.  I have done it for years.  I looked up cheat and I came up with multiple examples of my 'cheat meals' and 'cheat days'.   So yes, I have done it!  I've even managed to do it regularly each week and have incredible success!   So it's not the concept that I have a problem with.  As long as it is just a one meal or one day it is a great sustainable way to be on this journey.  No, my issue is with the wording.  

Why would we use such a negative word?   Cheating implies that we are doing something bad...something that we are not supposed to be doing.  We are being....naughty!    But is a day of minor indulgences bad if it is just that day?  Is a meal where our points/calories are a bit higher a bad thing?  Or is is just life happening for that short temporary period?   BY using the word cheat we are putting negative connotations into our heads.  We are filling our minds with the naughtiness of being bad.  We are adding negativity to our journey....and we don't need any negativity! 

We are already fighting the negativity of self worth....self acceptance....self whatever!  Why add more negativity to our journey?  We need to be building ourselves up!  Instead of cheating we can have a planned day/meal of enjoyment, a wee vacation from healthy living, a wonderful indulgence.  So you see how that went?  Which sounds more in control?  Which one sounds more positive?  Definitely NOT cheat! Sure, it's all verbiage and semantics...but that is what this journey is about....building ourselves up to make us stronger and better!!!  Start with the words we use and watch the positivity spread throughout all aspects of our lives and our healthy journey!

Update on my 2021 challenge

 This challenge that I set for myself is huge!  I knew it when I decided to sign up for the 2021 miles in 2021.  I knew that 5.61 miles for me would be a stretch and really push myself!  Yet I did it anyway!  I signed up for the challenge and I decided to do it solo, meaning that I would be the only person responsible for accruing 2021 miles!

I was so excited to start the new year and get this challenge rolling.  I woke up on the first of the year and I eagerly went to the exercise bike and got my miles in! I pushed hard!  The room was hot.  I felt so dizzy after getting off the bike! I didn't let that stop me.  On December 2nd I was back on the bike!  I was there again on the 3rd!  Every day I hopped on that bike and I rode.

But it wasn't long before I started to feel the dread...the overwhelming feeling of working on a challenge that was WAY TOO BIG!  Every day I drug myself to the bike and grudgingly rode.  And I questioned my sanity!  I mean, It's only one week into the year.  I've got 50-51 weeks left! This year is going to be long!

But I'm not giving up!  A true challenge is something that tests you and pushes you to your limit!  That is what I want!  So I will keep pushing forward.  I will focus on one day at a time!  I will do this!  

First week is done

 So the first week of the year is in the books and it is time for a weigh in.  I was so excited to start this new year and to smash my goals and to lose a ton of weight!  I was going to exercise each day.  I was going to start my year off incredibly strong!  I wanted this year to be awesome from the get go!!!   But how did it really go??? 

The week in review

We had a good weekend over New Years.  We spent time with Jason's parents to celebrate Christmas.  I love my little decorations.  (the bearded one was a gift this year).  

We also took down our Christmas decorations.  I was sad to see them go....but getting the tree out of our small apartment makes it seem less cramped!!!

We drove about an hour away trying to find a avian sun lamp....in an unexpected ice storm.  Sadly they didn't have any!  Does no place carry these near us?  I finally ended up buying one on Amazon..but it's not...well we can use it.  but we want something nicer!!!

The rest of the week was a normal work week.  5 days of work and boy oh boy did they seem to go by so SLOOOOWLY!!!  

We are enjoying working with our bird.  Kiwi is still a bit nippy and afraid of us...but he really wants to be with us, so it's just a matter of time!

The Food I ate to lose weight this week

I had grand plans to give up the sweat treats totally during the first week of the year!  I was going to keep my calories totally in check.  I was going to rock it out!   The sweat treats?  I didn't do too badly.  I did indulge one night on the homemade candy that Jason's mom made for us.  I ate ONE night...the first night and a limited number of pieces.  I would like to say I stopped there, but there was an incident where I saw the container of chocolate and just opened it and had some at lunch.  Other than those two situations I did great!

So how was my food in general?  I would like to say that I tracked everything.  I tracked about 70% of the time. There were a few days where I struggled.  I also struggled with portion control!  That is a biggie for me.  There was also one day at lunch where I just kind of went nuts!  I felt horrible afterwards....mentally and physically!  Lessons learned!

Getting exercise each day

I did amazing, absolutely amazing on the exercise!  Every day!  Without fail!  I smashed this new year!  I couldn't have done any better.  Oh wait, my attitude could have been better!  There were days where I really struggled to get moving!  But that doesn't matter does it?  I'm going to say it doesn't matter....because I did it and that is what counts!!!

The number on the scales

I was nervous to step on the scales.  I didn't think it was going to be much....if anything.  I am happy though to announce that I lost 0.8 pounds.  It's a far cry from what I gained over Christmas and over the year of 2020...but it is a start!  Now I plan on building on this success and losing again this upcoming week!!!!

What I need to work on this week

I have identified a few places that I need to tighten the reins.  

1. The first is my water consumption.  I would estimate and say that I am getting between 30-50 ounces each day....which is NOT enough!

2.  Track EVERY DAY

3.  Continue the no sweats!!!  In all fairness, If there is a day where I have sweats I'm ok as long as it is ONE day.  This is not a journey of all restriction...it is a journey of building a sustainable life!

So there you have it, my week in review and my plans for this upcoming week!  I've got this!!!

Organized weight Loss

I am a paper girl.  I like to keep my notes and stats on paper.  Sure, I use apps on my computer but there is something about the good old fashioned paper routine that just is good for my soul.  It is what I best use for my personality.   I don’t even try to go a different route.  I keep track of everything with paper!

About  a month or two ago I even wrote about how I had gotten back to writing my to do list down and I was totally enjoying the results I was getting! I loved it!   But it was another notebook to keep track of!  

You are, I have a pile of notes books!  One notebook for the to do list, one for my personal life, one for my weight stats, one for this and one for that!  Notebooks notebooks everywhere!  It is insane!  

So I decided that one of my main goals to start the new year would be to streamline everything!  No more multiple notebooks...all in one!  I utilized the stats and notebooks of this past year to find the things that I liked and didn’t like and I bought a calendar/planner based on those past findings!  And this is what I got!!

Ahhh so ‘purty’!   But purty isn’t what is important.  It’s what is on the inside that counts right!

So my main calendar page has a place for my monthly measurements!  I can’t forget them if they are on that main page right???   I am purposefully keeping this calandra page clean and neat.  It includes birthdays and days off of work and other real life important things!   At the top right in the margins I have my mileage goal for my 2021 challenge!  I will keep track of my overall numbers there!  

But the next page is where the magic happens!!   This calendar had a to do list section for each day!   And it was broken into three distinct sections!  I love it because I can use it for different things I track!!!

The top section of each day will be my posts for here and YouTube and my other blog/site.  I can keep track of what is already scheduled and what days still need to be finished with one glance!  You can see that the day that I took the picture I had only written the post for my 2021 challenge to go live on January 1!   I still had to write my Monday weigh in post and my Wednesday post!  (Same for my YouTube!)

The middle section of each day is my to do list!   I need that Vistula reminder of what needs done and the satisfaction of crossing it off when I complete it!! (The picture was taken prior to the week!)

The bottom section is labeled tonight...but that section is for stats.  Right now the three main ones that I plan on doing is weight, steps/mileage and calories eaten!   I am going to add in a BP somewhere...but I haven’t figured out which day that will fall each week!

I am so excited about my organized ‘life’. I know that my weight loss is through my hard work and willpower  but I feel as if this new set up will help keep me on the right track and I’m ready to rock out this year!!!

15 years and going strong

15 years ago I was simply doing what I do...journaling my life and writing.   I was carrying around a not book for my weight loss journal and my personal journal and ..all...it was getting to be a lot. But I really wanted to chronicle my weight loss efforts, from the my highest to my lowest.  The ups and downs....everything!

 It was an offhand suggestion that was made to me that sparked this whole Website/blog and eventually even my YouTube channel.   What was that suggestion/comment you ask?   ‘Why don’t you use one of those online journals’. 

The aspect of using an online journal was quite different for me.  I had always used pen and paper.  I even thought about the public aspect of putting my thoughts on the internet.  But I quickly pushed down those concerns about privacy.   Afterall, who was going to find it and read my lowly journal!  I decided to continue my personal journal on paper but to go online with my weight loss journal.   Imagine my surprise when months later I started to receive comments!  But by that time there was no turning back!  I was full steam ahead!  

These last 15 years have been a whirlwind for sure!  I lost a lot of weight and even made it to be a lifetime member of Weight Watchers.

I gained a lot of my weigh back! 

I went through a divorce and I ran a few races...and enjoyed it!  Go figure!

I rode my bike...and cried once or twice.

I fell in love and got engaged. 

I’m telling you...it’s been a crazy journey!   And what is even crazier, this journey is far from over!  I have a ways to go to get back to my weight goals.   I know that the journey will never be over.  I will have to watch my weight...my food intake and my fitness levels for the rest of my life.   

This website had been instrumental though!   It (and thereby you) are my accountability through this journey.   When I don’t write, the odds that I am off track is great!  The act of coming here a few times each week really keeps me in the game!  I might be struggling but I’m still here and by writing religiously it keeps me from totally giving up!

So on this 15 year anniversary, I would like to thank YOU for support!!!

Out with the old

I was ready  and excited for this new start!!!!  So ready to get to 2021 and get this weight loss journey rolling!

I really struggled the last two weeks of 2020.  I just struggled.  I kept saying ‘today is the day, I’m getting back on track.’ But I kept saying that every day and it never happened!   Eventually I vowed to work to hold steady and come January first there would be no more badness.  No if’s ands or bird, I would be back on track!!!!  I would get back on track on January first.  It was going to be my new start.  I would kick off my weight loss journey way and rock out the year 2021!

The first of January loomed.  I remained a bit nervous, because my challenge for the year is huge!  If you missed it, I challenged myself to walk/hike/run/bike 2021 miles in the year 2021.  That is a lot of miles for a sedentary person such as myself!   But amidst that nervousness, I felt excitement and hope for the year ahead.   

The excitement came from the determination and readiness to get back on track and feel good. I want my body to feel good!  I’m tired of aching.  I’m tired of waking up and feeling sick because I overate the night before.  I’m ready to feel good!   The hope comes from the fact that I KNOW this can be done.  Will it be easy?  Of course not!  But I know it can be done!!

January 1 came around and I stepped on the scale!  I took a picture of the scale to commemorate the new year and my start for 2021. I wasn’t happy with the number but it is mine and I own it!  And anyway,It will be changing!!!

I showered and moved to the couch to hang put and enjoy a quiet holiday morning.  It wasn’t long before I realized that... ‘Dangit, I need to ride the exercise bike and I already showered’.  I sat there for a few minutes.  But then I decided that dilly dallying....second guessing...delaying the ride would only set me up for failure!  Because you and I both know that if I don’t get my miles right off the bat the first day of the year then the chances of me giving up on this challenge is much greater!  I didn’t want to start the year behind and risk the chance of giving up.  So off I went to the office and the exercise bike!

I rode hard!  It was hot!  But I did the 5.5 miles that I needed!  I rode so hard and got so hot that when I was done I was really dizzy and sick to my stomach.   I tried to get a picture of the stats but I KNEW I needed to lay down and immediately!   That feel passed as I cooled down!   And I got smart...on day two I opened the window for a bit of a breeze!   

But how is my eating?  I am starting out strong there too!   Right in line!

So I am off to a fine start! I didn’t slow down and kept going!  

The Challenge for 2021

 Happy New Years!  I am smiling as I welcome 2021!  I have plans and goals for this year and I can't wait to have success!!!!  I am planning on doing this with an immense challenge to myself!!

I actually attempted this same challenge in 2017...but then Jason and I both switched jobs and added a HUGE commute that ate up our time for evening walks and the challenge fell by the wayside.  I am going to attempt it again!

The year is 2021 and I have set a goal to walk/run/hike/bike 2021 miles!  I had the chance to do it as a team and I honestly pondered this. But I want a challenge!  (Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment!)

2021 miles in 2021...that is about 5.5 miles a day!

2021 miles in 2021....that is 168.41 miles a month! 

That is a whole lot of miles for anyone!  Especially for this girl who is barely walking 5,000 steps a day as it is and struggles to reach that goal!  I am counting on using the exercise bike to help boost my miles in the off season.   During bike season I know that our outdoor bike rides will help accumulate miles pretty quickly!

I have my new (well a few weeks old now) Fitbit Sense  (Affiliate Link) to  help me along on this journey and I am ready!!!! I am also ready to rock that Exercise bike I got last year (The Schwinn IC3...Amazon Affiliate link)

Wish me luck!  It's going to be difficult!  I am also giving you permission to ask me about my challenge111