Crazy times

These are some crazy times we are living in.  Life has gone absolutely nuts!  I have seen things in the last month that I would have never dreamed of.  We are living in an unprecedented times. 

 I never thought that I would have to wait in a line to go to a grocery store.  Yet I have.

  I am used to seeing toilet paper, water and bread being picked over when there is a threat of a snow storm. But to see some of these aisles barren for an extended period is shocking.  (This picture were taken this weekend  about a month after this craziness started).

I never thought I would witness the incredible numbers of people applying for unemployment.  Yet it is happening and continues to happen more and more every day. 

I allowed myself to sink into a fit of despair last week.  I talked about it in this post.  And I have admittedly struggled with the worries.  I have allowed myself to be worried about finding food (when the craziness started simple staples were in short supply). I have allowed myself drown in financial worries.  I have even worried about the security of my job through all of this.  Luckily I'm working from home....and for a rather large company so for the most part I feel secure.  But it is so difficult to not by into the panic.

But the other day I realized that I was worrying about things that I have no control over.  I have no control over being a one paycheck household for the time being.  Worrying about when unemployment will come through is not productive.  It will kick in when it kicks in.  It will be in the amount that it is going to be.....regardless of my worries.  I can take precautions to be as safe and cautious about my safety....but honestly, other than that, if I get sick, I get sick.  I can lower the odds, but I can't remove the risk entirely!  I can worry about my family....but is worry going to change anything???

I know...it's harder said than done.  It's hard to stop the anxiety and worry.  But I'm trying.  I'm trying to keep myself busy. I'm trying to focus on what I CAN control.  I am trying to focus on making me the best me possible. 

Luckily, that still includes hiking. (that has not been temporarily taken away from us..YET.  So we are enjoying it while we can.

It means that I am focusing on my hobbies. I am taking time to work on my dollhouses.  I am taking time to do something that is relaxing and comforting to me.

And lastly, it means that I am not wallowing in self pity and instead I am taking control of my diet and exercise.  In the day or two before I started to work from home I had this vague dream
of using this time to really lose weight.  The goal was to step out of my exile in my home weighing significantly less.  I failed miserably during the first two weeks of my work from home stint.  But I am determined to turn that around. 

Now is the time.  I had had my eyes opened.  Now it's time to enact on what I can clearly see!  And I can clearly see the changes that need to be made in my life!  I've got this.