‘Your clothes are looking a bit ratty’. I heard the words and I knew the truth of those words. However, I immediately went on the defensive. ‘I don’t want to buy clothes in this size I want to lose weight first.”
Yes, this conversation played out in my life last weekend. The conversation was mostly surrounding my weekend/casual clothes. I tend to wear the same tee shirts week in and week out. I also have recently defaulted to wearing yoga pants on the weekend. So why is this and why are my clothes looking ratty? Why? A few reasons really.
The first reason is comfort. I have admittedly gained a few pounds over the last few years (30 since my divorce and I’ve struggled to get it back off!). I tend to wear the clothes that fit comfortably! Makes sense right? The second reason goes hand in hand with the first. Because my supply of what I CAN wear comfortably has dwindled, I tend to wear the same thing over and over. I just don’t want to spend money and buy clothes at my current weight. I’m going to lose you know. But the high amount of wear on those few items of ‘comfy’ clothes are making them wear out...quickly!
As the conversation played out last weekend, Jason looked at me with love in his eyes and said “but what if you never do? Will you just wear rags?” I didn’t say anything and we simply headed out to our next activity....hiking. The conversation may have been over...but my mind was swirling with thoughts.
I knew that my work wardrobe was for the most part ok. It wasn’t in dire straights, not exactly robust but in good shape. It was my casual wardrobe that needed serious help! It was my weekend/casual wear that was in shambles. I immediately thought back to December when I went through this same dilemma, but in regard to bras and underwear (without the conversation...but brought about in my mind after some painful days spent with a broken underwire in a bra and then a broken hook in a bra.) where I realized I couldn’t hold off anymore, I needed to buy bras! I did it and it really did boost confidence and how I felt about myself (I bought new underwear also!). So if I recognized that it made me feel better, why was I still resisting.
I realized that Jason’s words took the sting out of the weight argument. He was right. I need to live my life to the fullest and love myself at my current weight (just like I need to love myself at ANY weight!). Looking like a rag lady is NOT showing myself self love. So one major argument was debunked!
The next major argument was money. I just don’t have the money for a new wardrobe...even if it is just mostly weekend clothes I need. But as I hiked last weekend I realized the craziness of my argument. While I was married to my ex that was a indeed a valid argument. I didn’t have money for anything. I would duct tape my shoes together when they got old because my ex was so busy spending every penny we had and some we didn’t. He spent it on stuff like a banjo or on a new chain saw. Pretty much anything and everything, mostly stuff he didn’t need....like the banjo...he wasn’t and probably still isn’t a banjo player!!! So I was always doing without because I had to in order to get our bills paid. Hiking is always mind clearing for me...and last weekend was no exception, it made me realize that low and behold I wasn’t in that situation anymore. I make a decent salary. While I am focused on putting money into the savings and really building that up, it’s not like I don’t have money. I had the money last paycheck to put up my half of the money for a new Dyson vacuum (Dyson’s are amazing...I had one with my ex...and left it...I am so happy to have another one!!). and yet I still managed to pop more than 400 bucks extra into my savings account during the same pay period! So it’s not that I’m destitute. (I’m frugal though so I didn’t buy anything extra last paycheck so as to not ruin my plan to put that money into the savings!). It is just plain and simple a learned behavior....to not take care of myself! I guess the money argument is invalid also!
So that said, today I am off work. (It was requested ages ago...just so happens to work well into my current thinking). Today I’m going clothing shopping. I am sure I will stop by a few goodwill stores! (Hey I’m frugal and I have found brand name/designer brand clothes with the tags still on them showing they were originally $80 or $100 and I pay $3! That just makes sense to me!). I also have a few other non goodwill type stores in mind. I’m focusing on casual clothes today but I will keep my eye out for work clothes too!!!
Today I take care of myself and show myself some self love. Even better? I plan on doing it with my mamma! Self love for both of us!!! I may not like the aspect of shopping and seeing the sizes that I will be forced to buy. But I know that the end result will have me walking around in clothes that give me confidence and that will be worth it all!
15 comments:
When I started losing weight I told myself I would not buy anything new until I reached goal. Now that I look back on it, that was quite unrealistic, especially when it came to coats. They were hanging on me. Then one day I was in Old Navy and looking at some jackets, and some lady said, "You should buy it. Not only would that color (a sky blue) look good on you, but the one you are wearing is way too big for you". That's when I realized it was time to buy. I had gone from a 3X to an XL. Can you imagine how my clothes were looking on me?
YEs, buy the new clothes!! It will make you feel awesome, look awesome and boost your confidence! I like to update my t-shirts and yoga pants a few times a year just to ensure they keep "fresh and new " looking. I find somewhere cheap to order them (ie old navy etc) and that offers free returns. I have always preferred trying items on at home in the privacy of my own home! Enjoy and let us know what you bought next week. We want a fashion show! :)
Nothing wrong with Goodwill shopping! I love it and find the best deals there sometimes. New clothes can sometimes just make you feel better, so why deprive yourself of that just because of the size? Have fun shopping!
Good for you! I know it is so hard to spend $ on clothes in a size you really don't want to be in, but you will feel great to me in new/new-to-you clothing! I've recently spent $ on LL hiking clothing - I had bought some Colombia (still not $ I want to spend) but I hated that their 18W didn't fit and I had to get 20W, so I switched to LL bean to get 1X hiking capris and pants. Now if only I could find good hiking shorts I liked and didn't ride up in the thigh :(
Have a wonderful weekend!
Yay for new clothes. That's something I need to do as well. But my theory is that if I'm home every day and no ones sees me, then why do I need "fancy" new clothes. My old jeans and tshirts are just fine for housework and entertaining the dogs lol.
Awesome sauce!! Please update with what you purchased! I don't mind Goodwill I just don't have the patience to paw through all the stuff to find my size. Really I just don't like clothing shopping. A lot of my stuff was hand me downs from various people. Or a bunch of basic shirts from Target or something when they were on sale. I have no sense of style. LOL
I am the frumpy mom basically. Even if I don't look frumpy to someone else I do to myself.
I hope you enjoyed your shopping day with your Momma!
When I lost the last time I quickly learned that I could for the most part wear my clothes one size too big but anything more and it was ridiculous! So I would wear clothes that fit for one size and the with belts for one size.
I spent soo much money! Nightgowns, shorts, teeahirrs, button down shirts, and pants! I will definitely have to model some!!
You are right. I just felt good...and feel good to have done something for myself...and just wearing a new nightgown I feel so good! I imagine I’ll be feeling good for the next week or two as I wear new stuff!!
I need hiking clothes still! Lol. My pants are all a tad too tight! I tend to stick to the zip off leg style pants...they are usually pretty good about riding too!!! As for the riding, that is one of the main reasons I had to buy shorts. My newest pairs of shorts always rode up on me! Horribly! And I was always trying to pull down the shorts so that my legs wouldn’t painfully rub together. So I always wore my old ratty shorts! (Which I am keeping for bike riding!). I bought new shorts yesterday and made sure that they were long legged...(inseam was longer!). Luckily target now puts the inseam on their tags...that made it nice!!!
Yeah...that’s had been my theory. ‘It’s the weekend’. It’s not important. But I will tell you....I was in such a good mood and it felt soooo good to slip on a nice new nightgown. (Target has cool ones that look like a little sundress...and they are flowy too!)
Shopping is so hit or miss for me. And that’s why I dread it! Sometimes you can look for hours and find nothing! Luckily yesterday was a good ‘easy’ day of clothes shopping and purchases were relatively simple!!!!
Good for you! You should do a flat lay of your purchases. That is what the fashion bloggers call when they photograph the clothes flat on the bed / floor (not wearing them!)
Yeah! I cannot wait to read about your haul. :)
Love a good shop...especially when it involves goodwill (op shops) shopping. Used to be a favourite shopping trip with my mum too.
Looking forward to hearing what you managed to find.
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