After my fabulous weekend when I smashed my goals but showed a gain on the scales I headed into the work week super motivated to knock this weight loss into high gear. I had already stocked the house with healthy snacks and nutritious foods so I was ready!
On Monday I rolled through my day pretty well. I kept to my plan and honestly feel as if I did well. And the scales still didn’t budge! So on Tuesday while I stayed on plan....I really dealt with a whole lot of emotional angst! My underlying thought that tippled through my brain at regular intervals was the concept of ‘is this even worth it?’ I mean, I like myself. I’m head over heels in love and he doesn’t seem to mind my excess weight. So seriously...why am I torturing myself? What in the world am I doing?
Now even as I write this a day later, part of me just wants to end the post right there. But I have to be fair....I am doing this for a variety of reasons.
I want to be fit and active. I want to be able to hike and ride my bike and do things. I want to wear neat clothes and not be self conscious about my body. And I want to be the way I was when I lost the weight. I had so much energy, I had so much pep in my step, I felt on top of the world! I want that.
But yet...on days where progress is just not happening I question my determination to do this to completion!
I am still working on this. I don’t know what the problem is. In an e-mail to a friend yesterday I talked about where I’m at. It seems as if the only thing I can do is drop my calories to 1200...because I’m not losing at 1500 calories. I didn’t want to do that because that level is very ‘restrictive’ and I have been trying to find a balance...even if it is a much slower weight loss journey for me....it would be a good trade off. But that said, I’m barely maintaining at 1500 calories. Tracking every bite...my food for yesterday?? Banana for breakfast...side salad with cheese (for protein) with honey mustard dressing (the only non veggie things in the salad was the cheese and salad dressing) and I also had some cut up fresh pineapple for lunch. For dinner I had a cup of leftover spaghetti and a bowl of vegetarian three bean chili ....I had fat free sour cream with the chili....I was still hungry so I ended my dinner with 1/2 cup cottage cheese....which hit the spot.
That is a typical day. Banana for breakfast, fruit and a salad (or a pb&j) for lunch, and a nututious balanced dinner. (Tonight is a Parmesan Chicken, Baked zucchini Parmesan and another side veggie or roasted potatoes...as yet undetermined...pretty balanced)
So who knows! I have not given up...just allowing my emotional angst to play itself out and hopefully go away!
We had snow lasts night...and now cold. Lucky us (and lucky most people in the stares as the cold is pretty widespread!). So I will leave you with a snow picture!!
In the meantime....I’ll keep fighting the emotional demons down!!!
Stay strong! These were the same feelings I was having a couple weeks ago. It doesn't always feel worth the effort, the pain, the mental battle. BUT deep down we know it IS worth it.
ReplyDeleteOver the weekend we watched The Matrix. Since then my daily affirmation has been "Don't think you can, know you can". (Not an exact quote but it's my version lol. Morphious said "Don't think you are, know you are")
It's been keeping me pretty positive this week.
You know, I used to respond to all posts..and emails with the tagline...think thin. Maybe I need to revisit that!!
DeleteI have given up and started over more times than I count. I figure if I keep thinking about it and can't just let it go, then obviously I don't want to settle for where I am right now and want to push farther.
ReplyDeleteYour right...I dream about being thin more often then I want to give up!!!
DeleteThere are so many times I have wanted to give up. Going through it right now. Haven't been making my meetings because of the weather....and also because it's the end of the month, my check hasn't come in yet, and frankly, I can't afford to pay for a meeting. The leader let me go two weeks ago, but I can't expect to do so every time and my intuition is telling me I am still over. But, no, I am NOT going to give up. Came to far to do so.
ReplyDeleteYou have come to far!
DeleteI so feel you about losing weight putting a pep in your step and making you feel on top of the world! I was the same way when I lost weight, and I also felt strong. Gah, I miss those feelings so much. Of course it's worth it to keep pushing. WE are worth it. It's just so hard :(
ReplyDeleteI miss them too!!! We can do it!!!
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ReplyDeleteSo many times I have given up then watched the weight pile on...just to start over again!! Like you,I want my health back, I want to feel good, sooooo I keep pushing myself. It is hard...but we are worth it!!
You can and will do it.
We can do it!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would not suggest dropping your calories. You might need to leave yourself somewhere to go later, closer to goal.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion - losing weight with the highest amount of calories and the lowest amount of exercise is sustainable. Very low calories and a ton of exercise is usually not sustainable.
I would suggest changing what you eat. A lot.
Upping your protein, reducing your carbs, adding a lot of green veggies (broccoli, spinach, green beans, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, etc).
That will even out your macro/numbers. And it will also get you a lot more food volume within your 1500.
Protein for breakfast. Huge difference. (I eat dinner protein leftovers for breakfast or egg whites or both and green veggies).
If I ate two fruits, both very high sugar, a day, I would be barely maintaining too. Throws the numbers off a lot. At most I can eat one very low sugar fruit a day.
Eating protein every time you eat, balances macro numbers a lot.
I am not talking low carb. I am saying, in my experience, in order to have balanced carbs, these types of actions are needed.
Track your macros. And in those numbers there is a balance point and a weight loss point. Both those ranges are important.
Exercise is important. Range of motion, strength, flexibility, heart health, balance, bone density, etc. A daily exercise habit is so important. Even if it is just stairs/walk at lunch and stretching at night.
DeleteAdding back calories based on calories “burned” usually gets people in trouble.
I know you are working on your water consumption, that is good. Note - plain water is important. Anything added to water sets off insulin production even if there are no calories. So if you are sipping flavored something all day, you are producing insulin all day. Gum does this too. So does mints, sugar free candy, etc.
The good news is once you crack the code of your numbers, you will have a plan. And having a daily practice helps a lot.
I'll admit reading what you eat in a day makes me hungry! Do you not have any snacks during the day? It just doesn't seem like a lot of food :( And it seems like you could be going for a long time between food, especially in the afternoon. I would suggest trying to add in some more protein - some cheese mid-morning, chicken/egg/PB/whatever in the afternoon along with some fruit or veggies. Didn't you say that you guys eat pretty late?
ReplyDeleteI know you won't give up! You've got this! And we've got your back on it!
Youre not alone we all tend to go through emotional mood swings especially when it seems like we are not getting close to our goal. Youve got this lady.
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