I’m Maryfran, a down to earth, open and honest writer who has had incredible success with weight loss (150 pounds) and also a regain. I’m currently on a weight loss journey and working to lose my weight. I write a little about everything....life is so interconnected and all encompassing! Belief is the key to success in life and how I came up with my name for my sites! Believe!
Pages
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Scales are stupid: and other stupid things
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Intermittent Fasting: I accidentally fell into this diet method
Friday, July 27, 2018
Evolution: Beginning, middle and end
A NEW START
Back on February 11, 2007 I wrote a post. In reality the post was rather insipid. But it contained a neat nugget of forgotten information. The first line of the post was "Ok...this is crazy...today's post title is a new start..and that is the name of my blog." As I read this the other week, I had to do a double take! Really? This post wasn't always called belief in myself? When did this change occur? How did this happen? I have no memories of this early name. Nor do I have any memories of what sparked the name change. I am however still in the process of reading through and labeling old posts, maybe I will find another nugget of information giving me clues to when and why the change.
Even cloaked in
THINK THIN
In those early days of losing weight and success, I had a motto, think thin. I actually called it my motto in blog posts. I finished every comment on fellow weight loss blogs with the two simple words. I was in a few weight loss challenges and even led a few). Every email and correspondence ended with the words, Think Thin. I literally used it as my sign off. Instead of "sincerely, MaryFran" or "love, MaryFran" I would finish everything with "Think Thin, MaryFran."
Think thin worked for me. It guided my decisions. I was always thinking thin, meaning that my decisions were ruled by the thought of beng thin. It also reminded me to try to pattern my thinking after 'thin people' in terms of eating and food. And yes, there is a difference in how most thin people look at food versus how a morbidly obese person looks at food. (Generally Speaking at least.) The perfect example of this was the cheesecake lunches of my size 0 boss. I also talked about this different thought process in 2008 when I found an article that talked about the difference between thin and not thin people.
Belief In Myself
Somewhere along the way this site and blog segued into belief in myself. It was a good change. It encompasses every aspect of life. We have to believe in ourselves if we want to have success in weight loss. We have to believe in ourselves if we want to follow our dreams. We have to believe in ourselves if we want to achieve true happiness.
I don't foresee the name of my little piece of the internet world changing anytime soon. I like Belief in Yourself. It covers it all!
Week Recap
So as as I write I realize that the title of this post Evolution: Beginning, middle and end is not really correct. It does cover the beginning. It also covers the middle. However, it doesn't cover the end. This is an ongoing story. There is no end. Each week I will be moving forward in some way. I will be striving for success until the day I die. I will believe in myself until the day I die. My hopes and dreams have no end!
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
False hunger
On Monday evening I ate something that didn’t agree with me (or maybe too much of something...although I didn’t overeat). I was sick for a while in the middle of the night. Nothing a few trips to the bathroom didn’t take care of. Way too much information, I know. But the point is, I probably emptied my system a bit more than normal. I’m usually not at all hungry at breakfast and thus many times don’t eat at that time...I’m not forcing myself to eat just because the clock says it’s time to eat. So I didn’t eat breakfast on Tuesday morning. Around 10 or so my head started to pound. I drank water and took more Advil. Nothing worked! I immediately thought about caffeine, but then I decided to get a sandwich for lunch instead of eating my low cal/light lunch. I couldn’t wait until 1PM when my lunch break would roll around! It finally arrived...I got a turkey sandwich and ate it with my packed cherries. I skipped the chips and did not cave to get a soda. And guess what? The headache went away. I was hungry!!!!
Thirst
I've heard it said that close to 50% of people mistake thirst for hunger. It's actually a common thing and easy to understand how it could happen, the same part of the brain controls hunger and thirst. This is an easy one to fix. Literally....drink up! If you feel hunger, the first thing to ask yourself is "When was the last time you had something to drink?" I bet you find that it has been a while!
Boredom
Yup, we eat out of boredom. When we have nothing to do, we look for something to fill that void. One of the most recurring things we do in our life that takes up our idle time is to fix, prepare and eat food. So it's only natural that we turn to food when we are bored. So if you are feeling hungry, find something to do. Pick up a book to read or go take a walk! If you are experiencing true hunger those hunger pangs will not disappear but only intensify. But I bet you find that you don't think about food at all while you are otherwise occupied
Stress
This one is a hard one because we don't have a lot of control over the stress that enters our life. I can look at the history of my weight loss and see a direct correlation between weight gains and those really rough spots in my ex-marriage. Stress hunger. More recently I experienced the death of my father. Stress hunger came into play. I gained about 10 pounds in that first week and a total of 20 pounds in the first month. That's a LOT of donuts (and other bad stuff) eaten through stress hunger. I obviously haven't mastered this one yet. However, I vow to indulge in healthy snacks the next time stress hunger hits!
Habits
I leave work every day and drive the two or three blocks to the interstate. As soon as my car is safely merged into the traffic I have an incredible need. I have a need for some gum. Now let me say this, I don't normally chew gum. But EVERY DAY on this stretch of highway I NEED my gum. It's a habit that I somehow picked up. Even on weekends when I'm with Jason, if we happen to be on that stretch of highway, my mouth begins to water and I just NEED that piece of gum!
Food is the same way. Eating a small snack as soon as I get home is a habit. I tell myself i'm hungry, but it's a habit. You see, if I get sidetracked and miss my wee little snack, I find that I don't miss it in the slightest and I feel no signs of hunger from the missed snack.
Eliminating habits is something I've talked about before. It's simply a practice of recognizing it as a bad habit and having the willpower to resist and change.
True Signs of hunger
There are some signs of true hunger. Some of these include
*gurgling, rumbling or growling in stomach
*dizziness, faintness or light-headedness
*headache
*lack of concentration
*Nausea
Sunday, July 22, 2018
Listen to Your Body
What am I talking about? I'm talking about those cravings, those niggling thoughts that something would be "Soooooo good." I have always believed that our bodies tell us what they need. Have you ever craved a salad, or green beans, or even potato chips? I'm not talking about a simple 'want'...I'm talking about the mouth watering craving that no matter what you do won't go away. I think a true craving is our bodies way of telling us that something is missing in our diet. If your craving a salad, I think your body is telling you that you need some nutrient in that salad. Potato chips? Maybe your body is telling you that you need the salt! Out bodies require so many different things to function properly and when it doesn't get what we need, it will definitely tell us. At least that is my personal opinion.
A few weeks ago Jason and I were in the grocery store and we saw cherries. Jason commented on how he had been really thinking about cherries and how they sounded so delicious. We bought some. They didn't go to waste. I ate them. Jason got sidetracked and didn't have any. By the end of the week his foot was bothering him. The dreaded gout had reared its ugly head. If you read about gout online, you will see that one of the home remedies for gout is cherries. They say straight up cherries work. Tart cherries work better....and even juice works. So we bought some juice concentrate (amazon affiliate link) to have around the house....and we have a fresh supply of cherries.
So was his craving a coincidence?
I don't know if it's a coincidence or not. But seriously.....if he would have heeded the call of cherries, he would have most likely avoided a flare up.
On to the weekend. It rained. Isn't that said? It poured on Saturday. YUCK! We did buy a small grill and we did fire it up under cover on our deck. (shhhhh....we were careful!)
We are happy with the grill we purchased. (amazon affiliation link). We used it and ate buffalo hot dogs and corn on the cob for dinner
On Sunday it was threatening rain. We relaxed a bit and did try to get outside a bit so we didn't feel like total slugs! We
The magical cookies are still working their charm. My weight is still nice and low and slowly dropping. I have two theories. I'm not sure if either are correct...but hey, this is my post and I'll share my theories. Theory number one is that the I was stuck in that 'sweet spot' that my body seems to revert to quite easily if in the area. I was doing everything right to show a loss (small losses...nothing drastic) but nothing was happening. Eventually my body caught up with my efforts and the weight dropped. The second theory harkens back to a book I read a few years back. It was written by Jillian Michael and if I remember correctly, she talked about eating the lower calories every day of the week...except one. She wrote that your body gets into a rut if you eat the same everyday. Your body adjusts and in theory just begins utilizing those calories efficiently and you lose less. She recommended that high day to keep your body guessing. (and my apologies if I got that totally incorrect.) Either way I'm happy. The magical cookies are almost gone and then no cookies for a while....back to the grind of eating healthy and getting this weight GONE!
Friday, July 20, 2018
Magical cookies: weight loss thoughts
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I am in my weight loss journey. I’ve been thinking about what my plans are and how often to weigh myself. Really, I’ve been thinking about everything. I think some of that comes from the fact that I have read the first couple years of this blog and I saw where I was, I saw the struggles I saw the success. I had incredible success. I lost between 130 and 150 pounds of weight. I felt spectacular. However, I regained weight. Let’s be honest, I regained a lot of weight. Right now I’m looking at roughly 65 pounds to lose in order to get back to my lowest weight. It could be worse, I could have gone back to where I was at the beginning… Or even worse, I could’ve gone back to the beginning and then added another 30 pounds. So all is not lost (gained). Even more importantly.... I can go back to all of those old posts and all of my memories and see where the problems started. I can see where the problems occurred and by recognizing the problem, hopefully I can avoid the pitfalls. So what am I planning on doing differently? And are my plans really working? For the last month or two I have been preaching ‘live’. I don’t want to live a life of restriction. I don’t want to live a life of ‘never having an indulgence.’ I want to find that balance where I can be in a healthy place yet not feel so restricted. So where am I?
I got really serious about losing in early June. But I continued to struggle until the middle of the month. And at that point my weight was 254.6. This week I have seen as low as 246.8 on the scales. (Yesterday) That’s 7.8 pounds. Now my official weight this morning was... but that is ok, I know I ate a meal that was higher in sodium last night.
Daily Weigh In
I weighed myself every day back when I lost the bulk of my weight. Early on in my journey, I didn’t weight myself daily. And in early posts, I wrote about how I was so stressed when I didn’t weigh myself because I was fearful of not knowing how I was doing. Because of that, I started weighing myself every day. Over the next 8 to 10 years, I stayed on track for the most part with weighing daily. And I noticed something? Whenever I was weighing daily, I typically stayed on track with my eating....when I didn’t weigh daily I kinda gave myself a ‘pass’ from good food choices also. So I knew I want to continue this behavior. I got to thinking the other day when a friend emailed me and talked about maybe giving up the daily weigh in. I respect this friend’s opinion greatly so I really decided to give this one some thought. She brought up the fact that I seem to get discouraged when my weight is up a bit. And this is true. I readily admit it! So do I need to weigh daily? Yes, for me..yes. I know that not weighing for me gives me that freedom of thought that ‘I can be bad..I have until my weigh in day!’ But the daily fluctuations...that is the issue I need to overcome.
So how can I manage to overcome those daily fluctuations? I honestly think that I have been going in the right direction in my though processes over the last few weeks. I’ve been talking more about a ‘range of weight’. In that post I wrote about accepting my weight as long as it is within three pounds of my lowest observed weight. If I am ‘living’ the. I know that my weight will fluctuate because some days my eating and exercise will be spot on...but some days one or the other (or both) will be haywire because I’ll be living and accepting life as it comes my way. So I will be ok with the lazy Saturday where no run, bike ride or hike occur and we instead sit on the couch watching movies all day long. I will also be ok with the ice cream indulgence during the hellishly hot days if the summer. Let me rephrase...I will be ok as long as I am within three pounds of my lowest recently recorded weigh.
This plan is solid. I’ve read a few blogs where people have been doing something similar. And most recently I read a blog about maintenance where she posted a graph showing what ‘maintenance’ looks like. While I’m not in maintenance mode..yet. The post really hit me...because yes I’m in losing mode and losing mode has two purposes. One of is obviously to lose. But the second and possibly even more important goal of this stage, learning to live healthy and practice for weight loss maintenance. Her post showed that there are fluctuations daily. And she is still slowly working on a few pounds here and there...just shifting that ‘range’ down further a little at a time.
So I think I’m in the right path. The biggest thing is just retraining my mind to not be upset about the fluctuations. As long as my bottom number keeps inching downward I’m happy!!! This slow method may take more time, but I will be so much better prepared and equipped to handle maintenance!
Furthermore, when I share my ‘official weight’ I will be sharing my ‘low weight’ for the week and giving the acceptable weight range. So for example. If my lowest weight for the past 7 days was 245.0 pounds I would say that my official weight was 245 with my acceptable weight range up to 248 pounds.
So where I am I weight wise?
I got really serious about losing in early June. But I continued to struggle until the middle of the month. At that point my weight was 254.6. Earlier this week my weight popped way high with no reason...but then the next day dropped right back down once again with no reason. I struggled...(which is what brought about these deep thoughts on where I’m at and what I’m doing). Today I stepped on the scales... 245.4....I’m in awe...I’m in shock. I’m ecstatic! That is 10.2 pounds GONE since mid June!!! So my weight 245.4. And I will be ok with the scales up to 248.4 to account for those daily fluctuations!!
Eating
This is a big one for me. I know I need to limit my carbs. I know that I need to limit my sweet treats. I also know that the snack when I get home from work needs to go away unless it really is a true hunger that is driving me to the kitchen for that snack. Notice I’m not eliminating anything totally. I did the elimination thing once before...and I had amazing success! It works! It also failed me! Just look at my current picture and you can see it failed!
(Not exactly current but I don’t have current full body shots...I have lots of chest up pics though...selfies! So this March 2018 picture will have to suffice)
I found out the hard way that did me, living a life of restriction, for the rest of my life is not sustainable. When I was losing the first time I was frequently asked ‘is this sustainable, can you live like this forever.’ I was gung ho and said ‘yes, of course’. You see, I was in control. As long as I didn’t indulge I was fine, strong and capable. However, the first time I got the taste of cake and desserts (on a vacation and at a wedding) I lost control. Big time loss of control. It had been such a ‘taboo’ thing in my life that when I finally did say ok to the food, I went crazy! I don’t want anything in my life to be taboo. (Ok within reason...some things in life should always be taboo...drugs, etc...but I’m talking food here, not those extremes!). There is a fine line of balance between indulging and gluttony. There is a fine line of balance between being in control and going off the rails crazy (either dieting or eating like a fool). There is a fine line of balance between living a healthy lifestyle that is sustainable and one that will eventually crash and burn. I have already crashed and burned once. I don’t plan on doing that again. So that means that I have to find that fine line of balance.
The balance for me? For a few weeks I made desserts for Jason, but didn’t touch them (I had maybe one piece of rice crispy treats out of three batches that were made in a two-three week period...yeah he is on a rice crispy treat kick!). Then one week I made cookies...my all time favorite (chocolate peanut butter banana cookies). And I indulged. The no/limited dessert weeks, I lost. The indulge weeks maybe not as much...more like a maintain. Balance...this goes hand in hand with the weigh in section above....I just need to retrain my mind to accept the indulgent weeks...
Scales are Stupid
The biggest thing I need to retrain myself to remember is that there are fluctuations in the scale. Some fluctuations are caused by indulgences. Some fluctuations are caused by carb intake. Some fluctuations are caused by water intake or lack there of. Some fluctuations are hormonal. I need to remember that the fluctuations are NORMAL as long as I’m within that range of weight that I have allowed myself.
And just to prove how stupid the scales are? Ironically my weight was really high this week on Tuesday for no reason....I got home from work and made the heavenly chocolate peanut butter banana cookies and my weight dropped the next day...and the day after to my all time low today, even though I ate cookies each day. Which does prove that scales are stupid or maybe they are magical cookies.......
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
Tips for eliminating Soda
When I was at my highest weight, 315 to 330 pounds, I was drinking a lot of soda. When I say a lot, I really do mean a lot! I could easily go a day...a week and even a month with drinking nothing but soda. I know, not healthy at all! Just as an example, at one point when I was working at a job and I would get a bottle of Pepsi when I arrived, I would get one on my first break, my lunch break, and also my last break. That is four bottles of soda in an eight hour work shift. That doesn’t even include what I drank at home!! When I first started losing weight way back before I even wrote my first post on this blog, I gave up regular soda. It was amazing how quickly I dropped weight with that one minor change. That truly was the easiest pounds I’ve ever lost.
When I was in my early 20s, I decided that I needed to buy a new car (new car to me that is). I did not want to have a car loan. Therefore, I decided that I would save for a year or two and pay cash for a car. My method involved working two jobs(Substitute teaching during the day and waitressing every evening and weekend.) And I cut back on expenditures. One of the things that I looked at was how much money I was spending on Soda...a lot! That quickly came up on the chopping block as an expense saving measure. At that point even though I was overweight, cutting out the soda had nothing to do with weight… It was all money. Somewhere along the way though, I figured out that soda was just not the healthiest option. One of my very early posts was a comparison between water and coke. So I eventually figured out that for my health it was an important switch (and hey...the money savings is still awesome!)
I have toyed around with different aspects of eliminating soda in my life. Many times it has crept back into my life eventually. At one point I went from a heavy soda drinking lifestyle down to straight water as my only drink. At one point I went from regular soda to diet soda. I’ve also dropped from diet soda down to water. Each time I’ve tried different tricks and methods to make the process smoother and ultimately easier. I figured it was time to share some of those tricks and methods that I have utilized. Like always, take what you want, use whatever ideas and tips work for you, and remember that what works for one person doesn’t work for everyone.
- Retrain the taste buds slowly. One of the earliest problems I encountered was the taste. Water was totally unappetizing to me. I had no interest in water. In fact I readily said I hated water! With water being so un-appetizing, I went out and bought Kool-Aid packets. I bought the kind where you add your own sugar. The first 2 L containers that I made and subsequently drank were made with full sugar added. Sure, I missed the carbonation, but with the flavor and sugar it wasn’t so bad. Slowly, over the following weeks I started to reduce the amount of sugar in my Kool-Aid. Eventually, I was only drinking water with a Kool-Aid packet added and no sugar added. At that point it was a very easy jump to go from flavored Kool-Aid with no sugar to just straight up water. It took a while to eliminate sugar in a way that was easy and painless. But it worked really well and never again after that did I say that water was unappetizing.
- Caffeine headaches. If you are drinking a lot of soda, you’re most likely going to suffer some kind of caffeine withdrawal. For me it wasn’t so much the lack of energy that some people drink their caffeine for. My withdrawal has always been headaches. I have battled this one almost every time I slip back into drinking soda and then go back to more water-based in my drinking diet. For me the headache kicks in about 36 hours after I drink my last caffeinated drink. It lasts for about 2 to 5 days. There are a couple ways you can deal with this headache. The first is to just Suck it up and just deal with the headache for a couple days. If that doesn’t work, arm yourself with Advil or Tylenol. You can lesson the headaches by Tapering your caffeine consumption so that you get used to the lower levels. Next, you can definitely Utilize other sources of caffeine… Coffee or tea name two of the most common ones. In terms of The lack of energy without caffeine, get lots of sleep, eat healthy nutritious foods and know that the lack of energy will pass.
- I touched on this point in the section where I wrote about how to combat caffeine headaches/withdrawal. Drink other substituted drinks. Tea is a very good choice… Unsweetened tea that is (if your doing this to cut sugar). This one, was never a good option for me because I don’t like tea or coffee. For me the other choices were just as bad as the soda.
- At one point, the caffeine had crept back into my life and I decided that I would be OK with drinking diet soda. I was only looking at calories and not overall health at that point. Going from regular soda to diet soda was huge for me. Diet soda, to me at least, tasted really nasty. At that point though, I didn’t feel as if I had the willpower to drop Caffeine/soda completely. I had to retrain myself and my taste buds. First of all, I vowed that I would only drink diet. I quickly figured out that making the switch while I was eating was the easiest. When I drank the first couple glasses, I remember actually saying oh my word this is nasty and making crazy faces of pure disgust. But when I drank it with my food I wasn’t as focused on the flavor of the drink as much as I was the flavor of the food. So, slowly my taste buds changed. It didn’t take very long at all, maybe a week but the taste of the diet soda became the common norm for me. This also worked once when I was going from soda down to nothing.
- There have been two different times in my life where I have made the change from soda to not soda (or from regular soda to diet soda) while on vacation. I think this works really well because you’re already out of your norm. You’re not fighting the habits that are set in your life. I decided to drop diet soda once and for all as an every day drink a few years back during a vacation. I went prepared with Advil, and a full case of water in the car. I looked at it as a challenge. I allowed myself lemonade and other such drinks that I may normally eschew due to the sugar content… And it made me feel absolutely decadent and the decadence made me not miss the diet soda at all.
- I have very limited success with ‘just cutting back’. However it is an option out there. Many times I have set the rule of ‘finish my water first’ and then I can have the soda. This in theory is great. But it opens the door for lots of slip ups. For me, this is exactly what happens!
Where does this leave me right now? I am mostly soda free. I may grab one during the weekend. Occasionally if I’m having a day where I feel as if I’m dragging I will grab a soda. But for the most part I am straight up water...or at the very least, water with flavoring.
It really all boils down to making the decision to drop the soda habit and either tapering, substituting or going cold turkey. I have done all of them. I have gone months and years without any soda. It really is a personal choice on how each person approaches this.
- I have very limited success with ‘just cutting back’. However it is an option out there. Many times I have set the rule of ‘finish my water first’ and then I can have the soda. This in theory is great. But it opens the door for lots of slip ups. For me, this is exactly what happens!
Really it all boils down to making the decision to drop the soda habit and either tapering, substituting or going cold turkey. I have done all of them. I have gone months and years without any soda. It really is a personal choice on how each person approaches this.
My current love/hate state I. Regards to soda is pretty healthy....I think. Typically I drink only water. On the weekends I usually splurge and drink a diet soda. On a really rare occasion if I’m just really struggling at work with a day that just feels heavy, slow and tiring; I will go down to the cafeteria and pick up a diet soda. I’m not addicted. I’m not reliant. I’m in a healthy place in regards to it!
Monday, July 16, 2018
Idyllic, I think not!
And then we went for a bike ride on the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal.
On Sunday we chose to have a lazy day. We did run to my mom's to pick up a few of the things that were still there. The one thing was my headboard and my bed frame. For numerous reasons, we decided to use my headboard. I love it for one....but also because my brother made it (he is a professional woodworker) and I love him! And my bed frame doesn't have a footboard and neither of us like footboards.....and the frame we have been using (Jason's) has a footbaord. So we went and got mine and brought it to our new place. I then took the other bed frame/headboard/footboard down and put it in storage and set up the new bed. (same mattress and box springs). Other than that, we had a nice lazy day of hanging out and binging on movies!
Friday, July 13, 2018
It’s ok until: My new weigh in/scales plan
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
Mary’s Success Story
Thank you very much for sharing your weight loss success story! You have shown and reminded me that weighty loss is doable and takes perseverence! You look fantastic!!!!!!
Friday, July 06, 2018
The Burmuda Triangle of Weight loss: give up or truck on?
Weekend Shenanigans
No, we didn’t turn when our legs could go no further...we turned when we came upon a bridge that was out blocking our path. (Top picture is a side view of the bridge that is out, the bottoms picture is from the path where the path drops away!). No to be clear...there was caution tape blocking the drop off.....I was up against that. And there may or may not have been ‘area closed’ signs on the towpath at earlier points that I may have ignored! Even with the earlier turn around than expected, we managed to get a nice ride in...a nice ten miles that we referred to as our ‘warm up’ for Sunday!
The berries were ripe for the picking!!! And we did stop and indulge in berries along our hike. These ripe berry hikes are so much fun!!!
It was a good time...even though my one foot was aching like crazy on Sunday evening! And for the record, the trail is ‘mostly doable’ on current bike. I will have to walk a few places but overall I think I can handle it.