Sustainable

I have spent some time thinking about where I’m at.  I’ve spent some time really thinking about where I want to go. I’ve spent some time thinking about what I want my life to look like....... and I made some goals for my week.   And as I worked through my week I made some more discoveries.  So let’s first look at where I want to be and what I want my life to look like. 

Fun geese watching me walk!

First and foremost I want to be healthy....if ‘fat’ is healthy then fat it will be...but I know that ‘fat is not healthy so for the simplicity of writing I will say that I want to be thin.  

But most importantly I want to live a life that is sustainable.  Deprivation isn’t going to work for me....yeah I can say I’ll never have a piece of cake again....but that is not sustainable...because I like cake and I will eventually have a piece.  And if it’s been a taboo food (aka something I’ve deprived myself of) then I will probably cave and eat a lot of cake and lose control.  (This has been proven!!! I deprived myself and then had wedding cake...and that was the start of my weight gain.)

Sustainable and healthy.   Sounds easy right???

So my goals for this week...simple and Easy. Keep my step count high track my food and keep my calories low.

I discovered something about myself with goals and challenges...

 I have been wearing a fitbit for a year and a half.  I have gone through stages where it was awesome and I was checking it constantly.  I have also gone through some stages where I barely looked at my step count, even though I consistently wear it. (Hey, I like the text and call notification on my wrist.)    This week I decided that I was going to aim for 40,000 steps for the weekdays.  I know that on my weekdays I haven’t hit 10K steps in a LONG time.  So I wanted to give myself a bit of wiggle room by saying 40K steps instead of the 10K steps a day equaling 50,000 steps for the time frame.  It turns out that with 40k steps that  I would be aiming for 8 K steps each day.  Monday was easy as I was off work and I rolled through my steps easily (I employed the folding laundry trick.  I put the basket on the couch and folded my clothes and put each article of clothing away one at a time.  So fold a shirt, walk it to the drawer in the bedroom then back to the living room for the next shirt to fold….hey it added about 1500 steps for each load of laundry!)   Tuesday rolled around and back to work.  I walked on my breaks and I walked during my lunch.  I was determined to make it to 7K steps by the time I walked into the door of my house.  Yeah, I didn’t make it……and I didn’t make the 8K steps for the day either.  I was 349 steps short.    But on Wednesday I was determined.  This was my day!  I was going to annihilate the 8,000 steps!   And that’s when I realized.  10K steps may be the recommended amount….but for me right now, where I am at this moment, 10K steps is not a valid goal for me.  I see it as mostly unattainable.   But 8K steps?  That is attainable for me….(walking every second of my work breaks…and walking in place in the elevators……and doing as much stuff like that  during my desk job work day).  It’s a stretch, but it’s attainable….and because I see it as attainable, it is a game to me.  It’s a challenge…and I’m ready to roll with it.  As of right now on Friday morning I have about 4000 steps left  to make that goal… Totally attainable.

But as I worked on this challenge this week I discovered something different about myself. I’ve always known I work well with challenges.  I like to beat my own personal time I love to win a race or a game, it really does motivate. But this week I realized that it overwhelms my life. I’ve become absolutely obsessed with beating my challenge. That’s not a bad thing in the grand scheme of things.  That’s actually a positive in some regards. The negative comes in when I let myself get so keyed up about missing a step or not walking that extra distance. For example, I was driving to work the other morning and a van pulled out in front of me. And he drove so slow! My anger escalated. Even though I drive in D.C. rush hour traffic I’m pretty easy going and don’t anger easily, so this was abnormal.   (However, Don’t even get me started when lanes merge down and the people that are in one of the continuing lanes and decide to swerve into the lane that is ending thus causing them to have to merge right back in to the lane they just left… Oh wow did that three car lengths that you gained really get you there faster… Because it just slowed everybody else down! I hate those people… And if you do that,  don’t tell me because I don’t want to hate you either. OK I don’t hate the people I hate the action.) so anger at this white van… What kept going through my mind was that his slow driving was cutting into my walking time in the morning before work. Every second was taking one step off of my Fitbit. That’s reaction was a little extreme over a few steps… And no I didn’t yell or cuss them out  or flip them off or anything like that,  I just silently fumed.  On my breaks I walked and I tried to time it perfectly so that I got back to my desk right when I needed to be there.  But,  if I didn’t time the elevator right and ended up at my desk on or two or heaven forbid 3 minutes early I sat there and fumed because I just wasted a minute or two of walking.  How many steps did I lose! I didn’t like those moments of anger that coursed through me.  I don’t want to be obsessed. I guess that goes back into my goals and thoughts about where I want to be in where I am… Obsession is not sustainable.


So what is the take away from my Fitbit experience this week. I am absolutely positive that I will reach my goal of 40,000 steps this week. I have 4198 steps to take today. That’s doable even if I skip one of my walks on a break, I won’t have to walk in place in the elevators for the bathrooms while I wait for a stall, I won’t have to take extra loops at warp speed around the block to get extra steps on my lunch break. I may not even have to walk before work, if I get there in time. So I’m comfortable for today. (I do plan on walking on all my breaks  and even before work just because it’s good for me and healthy to boot.). And I will be looking to see if I can change my fit bit goal to 8000 steps a day. 8000 is doable for me with a little push. So if I slack I won’t feel that celebration go off on my wrist(My fit bit Alta vibrates and the display shows fireworks when I reach my goal.) I went for many many months and didn’t reach 10,000 steps and when I finally did that goal vibration blew my mom because I forgot what it feels like to be successful. I’m not sure I can change it… But I’m gonna try. Eventually I would like to move it back to 10,000 steps… But for right now 8000 is perfect For me.

 

Tracking:   I fall apart during the weekends.  Really.  I don’t track, I eat more poorly.  I eat more.  I eat more often.  And my weekends ALWAYS show me up on the scales.  My work weeks seem to be doing pretty good.  I’m slowly dropping weight during the work week…only to have the weekends wipe my progress away.  Yeah, it’s a vicious cycle.  So a few changes are going into effect. 

1.        My official weigh in day will now be Friday.  I’m doing this because I want to see the efforts of my week…and I want that tidal wave of pride to carry me through the weekend.

2.       Tracking…I track during the work week but tend to ‘forget’ on the weekends.  That is stopping!

3.       Lunches on the weekend will more closely resemble the weekday lunches as much as possible.  That means lunches will be mostly fruits and veggies…..if possible.  (If not possible, I better ‘earn’ the calories through some awesome exercise to account for the extra food I eat!

 

It’s Friday and I have weighed every day, and every day of the week day I have seen my weight drop just a little. I’m on the right track!