Skin of my teeth

I need to say that I wrote this post on Monday....oops I forgot to post!!!   Updates are in red!!

And I’m hanging on… By my teeth. Right now I’m not losing and I’m not really gaining. Well on my official weekly weigh in I lost 3.2 pounds....go figure!!! I just feel like I’m in no mans land. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and I don’t have the energy the time or anything that I need in order to get where I want to go. I know I’ve talked about the issues before so I’m not going to going to detail. I’m just going to say time is at a premium in my life right now and I don’t have a lot of it to spare.

The other weekend we stopped and got the most wonderful delicious donuts. I swear each one weighed a pound, I kid you not. I managed to maintain my weight for the next weigh in. Yes I was surprised considering I ate two of these huge donuts. But another problem came up shortly after that weekend.

I’ve talked about it on here for over the years. At certain points in my weight journey my stomach rubs the buttons and the waistband on my pants and it gets rubbed raw. Well not exactly raw  it just gets a really sore and looks painful. It is painful. Over the years I just learned to get big Band-Aids and cover the spot while I’m in that weight range / body shape timeframe. So after the donut weekend, a.k.a. last week; this happened. On Thursday I pulled out the big Band-Aids and plopped one on my skin. On Friday morning as  I took a shower I noticed the Band-Aid was still there so I ripped it off. And I ripped a nice size patch of my skin off. Can I say ouch? I bandaged it and went on to work and  had dealt with it. But let me tell you that’s motivation! What’s bigger motivation? Having to explain to your boyfriend who you love with all your heart that you’re fat rubs and causes wounds!  Embarrassing!!!

So here I sit bandaged up, carefully. And I’m tired of being this weight.  It’s got a change. For more reasons than what I just talked about also. I want to be healthy and hike. I want to be healthy and be able to ride my bike for longer periods. I want to be healthy and live a long time with Jason.  I want to live my life to the fullest.

I’ve come up with some ideas. Number one involves Siri on my phone. I am dictating my blog post while I drive home today. In this way I will only have to read it over and edit it when I get home. I know for me that writing in this blog has a way of keeping me accountable and honest with myself. This is the way that I might be able to continue with this activity that has helped me so much in the past. I don’t know if or when or how often I will be able to read other people‘s blogs but I’m gonna try to pop on when I can.

Accountability with friends.  I email Julie weekly!  And anyone else who wants accountability!!!

Exercise… This is a biggie! I have been walking at work on my lunches..... but during the week, that’s about it!! I actually miss running! But right now it’s pitch black when I leave for work and it’s dusk or later  when I’m getting home. In a perfect world I would be able to wake up an hour earlier and go running then… I however do not feel safe running by myself in the dark at 4 AM in the morning. I had already given up my gym membership and since we plan on moving sometime soon I don’t want to pick up another membership in the town I currently live in. My plan that I’ve been thinking about is to pull out the exercise videos/DVDs that I have stored away. When I was first losing my weight, way back  at the beginning of this blog I actually did quite a few exercise videos. Ideally I would like to do then at night but realistically I know that by the time I see Jason and eat dinner that I’m exhausted. So that means if I can’t start forcing myself to do it in the evenings I will be waking up an hour earlier in the morning… OK at least a half an hour. Yep this has not segued into real life yet...it’s just a glimmer of an idea!

As for the food… Those sweet treats have crept in. The thing that saving me is I typically eat at serving or two of fruit for lunch while I walk around the lake at work so my lunches are really healthy and that is negating the ice cream and or cake and or cookies and or candy that I eat.  What can I say other then the sweet treats have to go! I’m not even going to say 100% gone they just need to be severely limited. But boy was that Cinnabon good tonight!!!

It’s not the best options but it’s what I have to work with right now.

Jason and I are still doing well. We are planning to move closer to our work, which will ease up some of the time constraints. OK it will mostly take away the time issues. We have actually also talked about the food and we are both excited about eating at home and making healthy meals. (he actually eats healthier than me typically so I will be fine.)

Our weekends are fun. We have been getting a bike rides in most weekends and we both are looking forward to getting back to hiking now that the weather is cooling down.