Change

Twas the night before Christmas (before Christmas Eve) and all through the house, the smell of cookies wafted!

Ok, that's not how it goes....but sometimes that's what I feel this world is.  I feel like I am walking through a world of temptation.  I feel like every which way I turn I am accosted with super yummy things that are just HORRIBLE for my weight loss efforts.  Notice I didn't just say horrible. Because in the grand scheme of things a Reeces Cup, or a cookie or a serving of Ben and Jerry's ice cream is not a horrible thing.  It's horrible for ME because I'm out of control.

There, I said it.  I'm out of control. Or rather I've been out of control!  (I can't say that I'm in control yet...but I had a realization this morning and maybe...just maybe I'm regaining control!)

I make grand plans to 'clean it up' and vow to do it....but then I get to work and a customer brings in cookies.  Well of course I have to have a cookie....or three  or four.  I am just getting over the cookie frenzy when a coworker gives me a Christmas bag....with Reece's Cups.  Well I just 'had' to eat them didn't I?   Now, it doesn't matter that there were five cups and I ate them in one day....I was showing appreciation for the thoughtful gift right?  A tin of popcorn?  A box of candy?  Yeah, people bring their bankers gifts sometimes (the regular customers that we see on a daily basis do at least) and I have been imbibing!  

But lets be honest.  It just hasn't been the work food.  I've bought a pint of Ben and Jerry's Ice cream at least once a week....ok, and for a while it was more often.  A pint would last two nights (ha once or twice only one night) and then when I was out I would go pick up another pint!   Talk about the cost of obesity. (my last blog post...and since I can't do links here.....http://mfclingan.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-cost-of-obesity.html)....there is roughly 1000 calories in a pint of that delicious stuff....and it's $4.19 at the grocery store!  

It's just not good.   I've been consciously trying to make better choices....but it's just not good.

Add that to the fact that last night I woke up with a HUGE cramp in my foot.  Oh my word it was HORRIBLE!  I couldn't get it to ease up.  I couldn't move!  HORRIBLE!   Eventually it died down after what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably only minutes.  It wasn't until the light of day that I realized what is happening.  Dehydration!  I usually only get cramps in my legs/feet when I'm dehydrated!  And let me tell you.....the half bottle of water I drank yesterday is NOT enough!  Yeah, I only drank a half bottle of water yesterday.  Ok, maybe a full bottle.....16 ounces at most!   I have to be quite dehydrated!   And upon further thought, maybe that's why my head is kicking up a storm!

So what was the realization that I had this morning????  Cookies....mom made the comment that she should have me make some more pecan tassies because she only has a dozen to sell at the market.  I immediately thought about the fact that I only had a few tassies the day that I made them and then I"ve had no more as she has been selling them.  Ohhh and the same thing with the date dainties that I made that same day.  I was sad for a split second....and then an incredible thing happened.   I realized that I didn't really want any more of those cookies.  I had had my taste and I was good!  Now that's not to say that if I would happen to make them that I wouldn't eat one or two....but honestly I am ok without them!  (And I doubt I will make them as her last market before Christmas is tomorrow and I work today!)

I'm not making any dramatic declarations yet.  But I will say that I'm tired of being 'over stuffed' with food and feeling miserable.  I'm ready for a change!