Mixed bag of emotions race

I ran in the fourth annual Paws on the Pavement run in Hagerstown today.   It is a 5k and this run holds the distinction of being the race where I have managed to run a PR and that record still holds two years later.   So this run holds a special place in my heart.  It is my third time running this. (yeah, I wish I would have run the first one too...so I could say that I've run each and every one...but alas, I'll have to settle for saying I've run three of the four).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Running has proven to be very difficult for me late.  VERY difficult.  My legs just ache....my body just doesn't want to cooperate.  It's brutal.  So I went into the run today KNOWING that I would be lucky to complete it while running a snails pace and that instead I would probably be walking a good portion of it.  Oh well.....such is life.  

I ran a good bit.  Ok, so it was more of a shuffling walk.....but hey, I was moving.    I know what my pace has been of late (lots of walking breaks) and I wasn't expecting much.  I actually was expecting it to be about the same as my slowest 5K.   I just went to do it.    I also told Paula to run like the wind and not worry about me....to set her PR today!  

We met up with our running buddy Kristen and we were ready to roll.  (As a side note....Kristen and I almost always seem to run consistently the same pace.   Before I even met her in person..I would pace and leapfrog with her in local events.  It wasn't until after we met last year at a race that we started looking at the stats of previous runs and saw that we were almost always only a few people apart crossing the finish line.  She laughs and remembers a run where Paula ran by me and whacked my butt and I chuckle about how I ran behind the girl with pink headphones on a previous race.....turns out it was her...ha ha ha)

We gathered at the start line.  I was shocked.....the race had TOTALLY diminished in size over the three years I'd been running it.  Wow....SPARSE attendance....that doesn't bode well for year 5.  Hmmm    We listened to the normal pre-race chatter and then we were off.

Drat...I forgot to turn on my music.  I spent the first half mile trying to get my music working.  I spent the next mile running in silence before I realized the issue and FINALLY got music pumping through my headphones.  

I'd like to say that I sprouted wings and ran like the wind. I would like to say that I flew over that course and finished with a magical mystical time.   I didn't. I ran.  I am happy with my performance.  I ran quite a bit of it. (ok, my shuffle walk/jog combination...but I'm calling it a run).   I did have to stop and walk a few times..but I kept moving.   I am happy that I got out there and did it.  I am happy that I chose to not back out simpy because I knew I wasn't going to post great numbers.  I did it...and I am happy with myself for that.

You see. I finished it in 45:29. This now takes the place as my very worst ever time in any 5k I have run.  Why yes....the worst ever!   I'm ok with it though.   I have not been running consistently (two or three weeks of runs doesn't really count as consistent does it???). I have allowed myself to gain weight.  Finishing this run in any place other than last place is a victory!  (ok, so last place would still be a victory!!)

What I'm NOT ok with is the fact that I let myself fall backwards in weight loss......in running accomplishments......in my healthy lifestyle.  I'm disgusted with myself for allowing it.  

Next up Donut Alley Rally in early August.......I'm gonna smash my time ...or die trying!