A busy Day

So I have been trying to accept and move on.........

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Today was busy.  I woke up and why yes....I did get my run in!  5 miles of running and if I include my warm up walk and my cool down walk I knocked out 5.5 miles.  Not bad.   I know when I was running higher miles before that about mile 4 or 5 my knee would start to bother me.  It did again today.  And as for this evening?  OUCH, the arthritis is kicking!  (wow look at those chapped lips!)

After my run I relaxed a bit at the house and then went to my nieces gymnastic meet.  

Afterward I stayed hom and watched  movie and then went out for a bite to eat with my parents.  Now I'm home....finishing laundry and getting ready to watch the walking dead!

A smidge of this and a smidge of that

Whoopie Pies.... I got home from work and there were four red velvet whoopie pies laying on the dining room table.   I knew that they were leftover from the market where my mother sells baked goods (yes, is it any wonder I've gained weight since living here with my parents???).  I knew it was something I could eat...yet I held off.  I ignored that whoopie pie for 3 hours!   Yes, I did!    And then....well......  It was DELICIOUS!    GRRRRR

Thursday and Friday were good running paraphernalia days for me.   Earlier this week I ordered a Running Buddy from Amazon.  I've been seeing the advertisements and I checked out the reviews and they look to be pretty good.  I HATE running with an arm band.  In the winter I just tuck my phone in my pocket of my sweatshirt...but what do you do in the summer?  Tuck your phone in your bra?   Carry it?   Wear a dreaded armband?   So I saw these little pocket thingies.  They have a flap and the flap goes on the inside of your pants and the pocket goes on the outside  It is kept in place by two strong magnets.  Hmmmm.  I bite and bought one.  (Ohhh and did I mention that it's big enough for my iphone 6plus??? Well it is!)  It came in the mail on Thursday.  Then last night I ended up running into Walmart with a friend.   I couldn't resist the bright pink pants!   From there it was an easy leap to buy the 'no slip headband'  (ha no slip...we shall see about that..headbands ALWAYS slip on me...I must have a misshapen head or something!).   So I will be decked out in new gear tomorrow when I attempt a 5 mile run. 

I am starting to think about what I will wear for my 10 mile run.  Maybe my new pants.  hmmm    Hot pink sounds fun anytime right???  Hat or non slip headband is a big question...probably hat.....hmmmm pink hats...I have my Chicago (the band) breast cancer awareness hat...or my pink hershey kiss hat......decisions decisions.  Oh goodie...maybe I should buy a Charleston, SC hat while I'm down there.   But ohhh heavens...I'm planning on going to the expo.....who knows what I'll be buying!

Yes, I am 2 weeks exactly from my 10k.  Actually, two weeks from right now I will be either sitting saying "wow....I did it.....or drat I failed miserably!"   I have run three times in the last week.  Tomorrow is a 5 mile run...then through the next week I plan on running at least 3-4  two to three mile runs.   THen next Saturday or Sunday hit up another 4-5 mile run and then hit one or two 2 mile runs that week before the 10k.  Yes, I think I should really have run a 6 mile training run...but you know what.....If I can do 5 miles I can do 6......chump change!

skin of my teeth

I'm still holding steady in my efforts.  I've been regular with my exercise this week and I've kept my eating under control. (Ok, yesterday lunch was a bit much....but then I wasn't hungry the rest of the day so I kinda just snacked...)

On Tuesday I was so excited because the scales were showing me down.  Then life happened and even though my eating wasn't out of control and my exercise is spot on.....the scales are not being friendly to me right now.  Hopefully they will right themselves within a few days.  It's frustrating to say the least.  

I went running today and well......I started out aiming for a 4 miles run.  I made it a bit shy of 3 miles..  Better than no miles!   I struggled from the get go to regulate my breathing.  It was just all over the place.  Regardless I did it.

Emotionally....I'm struggling...but hanging on, by the skin of my teeth.

Can this be it???

Saturday was the end of the road for me.  I decided I was tired of feeling this way.   As Paula and I made our plans I was committed.  I was going to do this.   The Cooper River Bridge (Yes, in Charleston, SC) run was looming and honestly I was petrified about being prepared to run it.  (Call me crazy but my brutal two mile runs that I had been putting in once a month...ok maybe twice a month wasn't going to suffice and I knew it!).   Spending the day with Paula was just what I needed.   We made our tentative plans for this half marathon (October 31 in Philly) and we made a challenge for each other.    I just had to start carrying out these plans and working toward my goals.  We were confronted all day be health and fitness....even as far as seeing a small health expo.  Where I decided to listen to the chiropractic spiel.  (Was not impressed with her....AT ALL...but it made a fun picture.

Sunday dawned and it was warm.  I got ready to head out to run.   4 miles later and I was done.  It took me an hour to run those four miles and there were moments where I (may or may not have) rolled my eyes a few times during the run.  But I ran 4 miles.  I feel a bit better about the prospect of completing a 10k at the end of this month.  I was slow.  Really slow.  As in if I run at that speed I'll finish it 10-15 minutes slower than the 10k in October. 

I also kept my eating under control on Sunday.   Yes, really!!!!!   Not just under control....I tracked!  Was I over a bit?  Yes, I was over my budget of 1200 calories.  But oh wait, I ran for an hour.   (Yes, you burn a fair amount of calories as a fat girl running....ha ha ha....see there are perks to being fat!)   So in reality, I was spot on (and I didn't eat all my earned calories so it's a good thing!)

So how is Monday going?    Well, my eating has been spot on thus far. (and tracked).  I ran 2 miles this morning. (Admittedly, it was a more rough run this morning than yesterday...but that's ok...some runs will be difficult some will be awesome). 

 I have my gym bag packed and in my possession so that I can get myself to Zumba after work tonight. Why yes, I plan on going to zumba tonight.   My legs are achy today but I know that I will push through at zumba and that I'll feel wonderful after we stretch and call it a night.  :-)

Water consumption.  Check.  I'm doing well with the water intake too!

I thought I would take a few minutes to respond to the inquiry/comments about my cats.  My cats are not in any pain or unhappy and miserable with their 'old age' conditions.  Ethel gets stiff from her arthritis as do most older 'folks'.  But she still trucks around and enjoys life (and yes, I do have some things set up to make it easier for her to navigate). Yes, Lucy has an inoperable cancerous tumor, but if you spent time with her it's obvious that she is not in pain from it. (In fact the vet said she probably wouldn't be even up to the end....and they gave me the signs to look for to know when I need to bring her in for an intervention)  That said, that old girl gets around better than my 5 year old cat.  Lucy is also a happy cat, always purring and wanting loved. My cats are under a veterinarians care.  Regardless of any heroic measures a veterinarian may suggest (mine is pretty grounded and I don't expect heroic measures for my old girls)  I would not allow my cats to live in misery.  I know that the day will come when I have to make that decision.  But that day is not today.  My cats are living a happy life.  (well, they are unhappy when they want to go upstairs and their grandma and grandpa aren't home to let them upstairs....meaning they have to stay downstairs in my personal area.....and yes, they let their grandma and grandpa know what they want and they get what they want!!!!!)

Plans

Maybe this will be a post in pictures......  hmmm

I am doing well with the water and I'm trying to incorporate more fruist and veggies into my diet.  

My swag for the Cooper River Bridge Run arrived.   I am woefully prepared but it is 3 weeks away come hell or high water. (possibly both).

Still enjoying my niece and nephews.  :-) 

I will stop to say that I have a challenge that I'm starting tomorrow.  I should be eligible to actually file for the divorce in October of this year (stupid waiting period).  My friend Paula and I also plan on running a half marathon in October.  We are tentatively looking at running a Rock and Roll half in Philadelphia on October 31.  So this is a multi part challenge.  I want to be 50 pounds lighter.  I'm not going to beat around the bush.  I've gained 15-20 pounds since the separation commenced. I'm at the HIGHEST weight I've been in a LONG time.  So 50 pounds will put me back in onederland.  I want that.  That is my goal...so when I go to that divorce hearing that I'm sitting at a nice low weight!   I also want to run this half marathon at a much lower weight.     My friend has a weight goal also.  She is closer to her goal weight (and shorter).   So we are aiming for 1 pound a week for her and 2 pounds a week for me.   There are a few 'mess up' weeks for us in there...but we have a goal and a fun idea of where we can flaunt our new bodies.   The running/training will help us lose the weight too.  All hand in hand.  So that is the plan we concocted today.  ha ha ha ha

Consistency

Working on water consumption.  I've talked a few times about my move and the taste of the water where I'm at.  I was used to well water.  Here the water is good water, but it's highly chlorinated.  I feel like I'm drinking straight up pool water.  I've tried bottled water (that's just annoying and the extra jug/pitcher of water is space consuming) and lemon (good for a quick fix but not on a daily basis).    And then I stumbled upon the Britta Bottles.  I bought one to try.   It worked  The water tastes, dare I say it 'good'.   So I quickly bought a second one and I'm on a roll.  I am doing much better with my water consumption.

So maybe I found the trick for that aspect of this journey.
The eating. YIKES   Lets just say that it's crazy and I KNOW I have to change it. I'm feeling miserable  plain and simple.   And lets talk about the fact that my clothes are all getting tight.  GRRR  This is NO FUN!   Something has to happen.  Either I give up and decide to be a sluggard or I start being careful again.     Being a sluggard is tempting. I have an addition.  I don't have an addiction to one type of food.  My 'type of food' that I turn to changes.  One day it may be potato chips.  The next day it may be peanut butter.  Cake.  Bread.  Pasta.  Pie.  I can be anything.  And it makes it hard and so utterly tempting to just give in.  However.  I don't like this feeling.  So I'm gonna have to kick and claw.  It doesn't help that 'tis the season' for peanut butter eggs.   Ohhhh peanut butter how I love you. (ha ha ha)  Either way  I know that I can do it.  And I CAN resist the food that calls my name on any given day. I've done it before.  It is possible.  I know that it will take consistency in my efforts to achieve my goals.

Seaking of consistency.  This weather we have been having is pretty consistently crappy.   And it's upsetting the consistency of my attempts to run and my attempts to train for his 10K that is in a few short weeks.   GRRRR This 10k is going to be brutal.  But i I have to run/walk it, I will!  No worries.  And Paula is talking about doing a 1/2 marathon this fall..one of the Rock and Roll halves......Am I nuts for saying "Sure!  Sounds like fun!"   I will need consistency for that to happen.   Hmmmm

Somber

I'm gaining weight.  Plain and simple.  I'm gaining weight.   I know why I'm gaining and I just seem powerless to stop it.

You see, I have a food addiction.  And just like an alcoholic turns to the bottle when life just kinda....well....sucks.  I turn to food.  It's not an excuse.  It's just a fact.  Food is my drug of choice.   It was highlighted this morning as I decided to pick up a breakfast sandwich on the way to work.  Burger King.   Yeah, that's a bad sign right there.  And when I order my meal and ask for it to be upsized to the biggest size possible because I need the big drink is the next bad sign.  Is that everything?  Why no....the mini cinnabons are there.  Would I like one two or three?   Why three of course!  And I scarfed that food down while driving down the road.....even the deliciously gooey cinnabon mini's!   Lunch.....oh lets just let it drop.  I was emotional (was is an understatement...AM) and I ate today.

I know that this has to stop.  I have to stop the weight gain.  I have to stop this.  I want to lose not gain.

I've long said that weight loss goes hand in hand with emotional health and boy this is proving it.

The emotions.  Yes, it bothers me that my ex is Mr. Jovial and  Mr. Man that is out dating and being the man that I had always wished I had in my life.   I don't want him back, but it bothers me to see him doing stuff that I would have given my eyeteeth to do and have.  That coupled with more dating disasters on my end (I have knick names for the guys I've seen/talked to......and they are not very complimentary......tiny taco, the elf,  blacktooth.....)  Just too much.  Bring on the food.

I'm going to vow again to try to bring it under control.  Maybe this time will be the magical attempt.