OK, I have faced up to my weight. It's not pretty. Ok, so it's not that it's ugly. But I've been sitting in a holding pattern for the last umpteen months. When I say holding pattern I mean that I've been staying within the same 5 pound radius for the last SOOOOO many months.
I should be happy with that. I mean seriously, I've pretty much maintained my weight for the last 6 months (more?). But dammit, I don't want to maintain!
I can admit that I've not been totally on board with losing. Ohh, I want it, but wanting it isn't enough. Getting it involves making the choices necessary to GET it. So I can admit that.
So how do I shake myself loose? I have tried a monetary challenge with Sherry. Heck, we totally messed up the first challenge so we reset it and started it again. Uhhhhh I'm about two weeks in and i'm up further. (still within the 5 pound range thank heavens..but up!) So obviously the challenge thing an the threat of paying out money didn't work. Just saying 'do it' didn't work either.
I did manage today to not be tempted by the snacks that pervade my work! When I first started this job I was totally rigid and didn't snack on anything at work. And let me tell you, if I think we have a lot of food now, it used to be 75% worse! I just didn't do it. It was a taboo thing and I didn't do it. I need to get back to that! (and yes, I still had my treats and such, I just did it carefully and with control).
Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. Yes, I'm 41 years old and feel as if I have yet to figure out what to do when I grow up. I thought I knew years ago......I was wrong (or rather it just didn't work out). So I'm soul searching....and not getting anywhere...maybe I'm just soul-less!
