I'm a quitter. When things get tough I bail. I realized this via the mindless games that I have on my phone. Candy Crush for one. About 6 months ago (more actually) I got stuck on some level (just shy of 300). I played it religiously fully expecting that one day luck would be with me and I would move past that level. But for some reason, the level eludes me. Things got tough and I quit the game. (yeah, every once in a while in a fit of boredom I go back....I'm still stuck so I quit again). I quit. So a while back I picked up and started playing Farm Story2 It's addicting....mindlessly addicting. But when you get to the upper levels..wowzers, it's frustrating because I need so many coins....it's so hard to earn the coins....I need hammers and screws and deeds and maps and nails and ....the list goes on and on. I have 4 major projects that I need to complete yet it will take me eons to get there and while I'm striving, I'm just opening up more levels....and each level brings more 'projects'. I QUIT! It's too hard so I'm quitting! (ok so I'm not quite quitting, but I'm getting frustrated and that heralds quitting).
This pertains to weight loss and healthy pursuits too. I can't tell you how many times I tried to complete the C25K program (at least four). It hurt, it was tough......and time and time again I quit. I can't even fathom how many times I have come on this blog or told someone in real life that "This is it...I"m serious about losing...I'm doing it!" Time and time again I fall off and don't make it. I quit......temptations abound and I cave under the pressure. I quit. (Ok maybe not quit, but falter)
I don't want to be a quitter. I want to be a finisher. I don't want to tuck tail and flee when the going gets tough. Ok, maybe Farm Story 2 is not the platform to take my stand to say I "WILL" finish this. But my weight loss is. My running attempts are. My biking (which I plan to do as soon as it warms up just a tad) is a perfect example of not giving up and quitting! Quitting is NOT an action that I will accept...no longer!
Hand in hand with this thought.....my friend last week told me that I'm too hard on myself. Is this true? Am I expecting too much from myself. She was talking in conjunction to my mileage goals that I set up for myself each month (it's via the Move your A$$ Challenge on myfitnesspal......each month I chose my mileage and work toward my goal....everyone picks their own mileage goal). Yes, I squeak a lot of my months by at the last minute (I finished my last 8 miles for the month of February on the last day of the month). But you know what? I do it. I strive to keep myself challenged. Does that make me too hard on myself?
I've thought about this a lot since we had the discussion just about a week ago. I've come to the conclusion that no.....no, I'm not too hard on myself. I have had a few things that I've had to back off of. (Last spring I was doing zumba 3 times a week...running 3 times.......random walks throughout the week....random gym visits through the week and I decided to add in the 30 day shred.......I made it a week or so and then I knew it wasn't feasable...so I dropped some stuff.....so I recognize when I need to back off). The thing about pushing myself and continually challenging myself to the point that it looks like I'm too hard on myself?????? I learn that my body is capable of AMAZING things. If I hadn't pushed myself I would have no clue what I was capable of achieving. THAT is something I would hate to miss out on!
My run today......well...I got out there. Some runs are bang on great while others are brutal slug fests. Today was a brutal slug fest. The muscles in my legs were TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT and they just ddin't loosen up. I pushed myself for about 1.5 miles and then gave up and walked. Hey, at least I was out there!!!!
