Aiming for a loss this week.....I totally need a loss on the books to boost my moral about this journey. It's amazing how badly I want it, but how utterly difficult it is to actually work for it! It isn't an easy journey. It's difficult. It's downright mentally exhausting. Its emotional. It's just plain shitty sometimes!
Moving forward. I've got some goals. I'm pushing myself forward. Last night I was in the parking lot at zumba and I ALMOST turned around and drove home. I found out it was a substitute instructor...not one I hate, but not one of my favorites. I almost walked out the door. I stayed though. I pushed through it. I am already wishing that I could just stay at home and curl up in a ball on my couch.....cry, wail, gnash my teeth and maybe watch a movie. However, I'll be up and at 'em at Zumba....oh heavens, I sure do hope Anita is there tonight! (although, I was feeling icky last night...and the gal that was subbing doesn't do as heavy of a cardio workout as Anita...so maybe that was a good thing....however, I wanted the sweat to be pouring off me....kinda like being mentally cleansed with sweat......OK, maybe I've gone off my rocker!)
Will I get my loss this week? Honestly? I've not been horrible, but I've not been on target 100% either. Per the calorie count...yes, I should be showing losses. But that is not how my body works. I know where my calorie count has to be to show a loss..and it's not quite where I need it to be.
Right now....emotionally, physically and mentally my focus is on putting One foot in front of the other.... Ok this is kinda the wrong season for this clip...but seriously, it just works for where I'm at.... and honestly for this WHOLE weight loss journey!!! Seriously...I'm sure you remember the Christmas show...but go and actually listen to the lyrics....
