I am a runner

I am a runner.  I may be slow.  I may have had to take some breaks due to that pesky foot issue (plantars fasciitis) but I'm a runner.   

Furthermore, I am a biker.  I may not go a gazillion miles.  I may not be able to hit all the hills full speed ahead.  But I'm out there.  I was able to ride 20 some miles...on the roads and on some hills.  That makes me a biker.  

I hope to better myself in both of those pursuits this upcoming year  In that vein, I was outside today running!  WEEEEE   It was in the mid 20's and it felt GREAT!   I wasn't fast....I didn't expect to be, afterall I haven't been religious about my running.

HOWEVER, that is going to change.  I have a few 5k's that I'm interested in. The first one is in March.  I want to start improving my stats!  I want to set personal records this year!   That means, I need to RUN!

How fitting that this blog is about running....because....  One year ago today I started running. I started the couch to 5 k program for the third and what I vowed would be my final time.  I vowed that I would push through the hurt and come out victorious!   I did.  I may not have been religious about running in the last months for various reasons....but I was able to run 2.5 miles today without stopping.  If I go back to last year I struggled with the 90 seconds of running!    Wow....I've come a long way!

So happy runniversary to me!

Affirm it....be it!

Moving onward.   I am currently reading a book. I won this book on a blog a while back.  It's called Burn theFat Feed the Muscle   by Tom Venuto.  I'm not very far in yet, but something has already sparked a nerve for me.  The author has built his ideas and programs around the principles of bodybuilding, but clearly states that these principles tie into losing weight and toning up...that body building is only the medium that clearly figures out the regime that works well. (He does make a convincing argument for this fact).   He made a comment at the beginning that recommends that we all start out by making a statement.  "I am a bodybuilder"  and encourages us all to substitute bodybuilder with whatever our goal is.  "I am a runner."   "I am a fitness athlete".  I am a whatever we strive to be."      He states that when we make affirmations like this that we will reach our goals faster.  "It's miraculous how the words you use to describe yourself can shape your identity, change your self image, and, in turn, change your behavior."

How true is that?   So true.  Last spring I was struggling through the couch to 5k program, yet I was running religiously 3-4 times a week.  I called myself a runner.  I was a runner.  I was doing it and my mind accepted the aches and pains that were associated with being that runner.  I accepted the cold weather runs (although nothing like the cold snap we are currently suffering through).  I accepted it all. I believed it.  I made the affirmation and I did it.  After my foot issues I stopped running regularly and stopped calling myself a runner.  All of a sudden the aches and pains associated with running seemed insurmountable.  The discipline that I needed to complete my runs was mysteriously missing.  I got out there on occasion...but I wasn't the same.  You see, I had stopped calling myself a runner...and I had stopped believing it.

(How ironic, as I'm sitting here in my warm toasty house writing this I see a runner out in the brutal cold running...hmmmm)

This affirmation stuff carries over into everything.  Affirm that I am...and BE!

I'm working to keep my picture a day rolling......

Terri one of my Zumba peeps

snow plow

A tidal wave

I held it together on Friday.  I knew that the weight on the scales was only one day and since I weigh everyday, I know that my 'official' weigh in for the week was skewed.   That's the way of life and I was ok with it.

Saturday dawned and I had a quick breakfast and headed out.  I had some errands and I planned to spend the day with my family. For some stupid reason, I didn't drink anything with breakfast.....nor did I fill up my water jug to take to town with me.  Why?  I have no earthly clue.  I ate lunch at my mom and dad's house (I raided their fridge and ate leftovers!) and after I was done eating had the fleeting thought of "I didn't get anything to drink."   I should have stopped right then and there and gotten something, but I wasn't bothered and didn't feel thirsty.  An hour or two later I was at my brothers house and they offered me a drink.  I answered "I'm fine not thirsty"   Because I was fine...I wasn't thirsty..even though it as 4PM and I hadn't had even one sip to drink all day.  What was up with that??   I did drink a few glasses of crystal light (berry pomegranite flavor) that evening.  But seriously?  What was I thinking??????

Sunday....ahhh lovely Sunday.  I had planned on staying home all day to work on a project that is currently on my plate.  (well, I was going to walk but my walking partner has strep throat.....no thank you..keep your germs to yourself!)  I worked on my computer with the tv playing.  My mind wandered while I worked and I found myself depressed and crying.  Life just overwhelmed me.  Nothing more to say than that.    However, I will have to go on and say that I ate.  I cried and those tears were like a tidal wave that just carried me to the kitchen over and over again.  It wasn't as bad as previous years...but I ate too much.  And worse...I just stopped tracking it.....

The eating didn't fix anything.  It just made me kick myself and feel like a bigger loser after it was all said and done.  So I guess I can honestly say that the eating made things worse!   Lesson learned.  However, this is truly and addiction, so I know that I will fight this urge over and over again in my lifetime.

Monday dawned and I awoke with the same life problems....but I was determined to not allow it to rule my eating.  I made my plan, packed my lunch and I'm proud to say that I stuck with it!   I will be totally honest and say that at about 4PM I was HUNGRY (or so I thought) and I went to raid the food cabinet at work.  There was some old popcorn there....not worth it.  There was some candy and I actually was ready to lift the piece of candy out of the open box when I came to my senses and realized that a piece of candy was NOT what I wanted!  So I can say that I stuck with the plan 100% yesterday.  Victory!

Furthermore, I made it to zumba last night.  Dang, it was cold leaving the class while I was all hot and sweaty!!!!  Worth it though......I needed to pound my feet and get a good workout!  Good for the mind, body and soul!

I've got my plans made for today.  Foodwise I'm planned out and another bout of zumba tonight!!!!  I've got this!  One day at a time!

And my pictures for the last few days!

Saturday...COLD 

Riley's soccer game on Sunday

Sunday...lazy day on the couch with the cats!

Monday and on the way to work...BRRR

Disbelief, shock and awe

I'm in disbelief!  I have hovered at just about a 2 pound loss for the last 4 days. And today was my official weigh in day. Yay!  Time to get that 2 pound loss officially recorded!  My goals for the week?  You know...tracking, staying within my caloric budget, drinking water, exercising.  I nailed each and every one!  I didn't falter!  I rocked the plan.

I woke up this morning.  I knew IMMEDIATELY that it was going to be bad.  You see, since I weigh everyday I know the nuances of my body.  Today I woke up thirsty.  That has NEVER boded well on the scales that day.  NEVER.  I laid in bed for a few minutes, hoping that today would be different!  I prayed that today would be different.  I took every article of clothing off  and even contemplated chopping off some of my hair for an added bonus, but stopped just shy of grabbing my dull scissors from the bathroom drawer.  I stepped on the scales.    YAY......(note the sarcasm) I weighed in a half of pound HIGHER than last week.  So I have to woman up to a gain this week.    ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

Seriously, why am I doing this????

I know I know I know...I'm doing it because I want to be thin.  I'm doing this because I want to live a healthy and active life.  I'm doing this and I'm not giving up, but it is depressing.....even knowing that it is most likely a water weight gain.    My consolation.....because I DO weigh everyday, I know what is most likely the issue.  (and I drank right around 100 ounces of water yesterday...so no, it's not an issue of drinking too little....stupid me, I made General Tso Chicken last night...homemade, and while I do use low sodium soy sauce..seriously, low is a relative term when referring to soy sauce and other chinese ingredients).

Oh well...  (can I scream now?)   Moving on.

So this journey to a better me isn't all about weight.......so .....I've decided to restart my 365 project.  I've done two consecutive years in the past and have LOVED the results.  I like having a pictorial guide to my year and I like having a camera in my hand. (and it's neat because I can always see my skill as a photographer increase when doing it).    In previous years I was totally hard core.  I had to take a picture each day...I think I only missed 2 or 3 days in those two (two and a half actually) years.  It added a bit of stress to my life on some days.......This time around I'm going more casual......I'm going to TRY to get a picture everyday.

My rules are simple....I want most of the pictures taken with my good cameras.  I can occasionally throw in a cell phone pic (I've taken some amazing shots with my cell phone..and sometimes the cell phone shots sum up the day much better than any other shot) and I may even throw in a graphic art picture or something I pick up somewhere else.  So really simple.   I've done this almost a week now......so here is my week in review...

January 19....my beautiful niece

January 20  Sunset before zumba

January 21....Snowy day

January 22.....recovering from snow

January 23....so wrong but so incredibly funny

HI HO HI HO It's off to work I go

My eating has been totally spot on the last few days.  I feel so proud of myself.  It really is crazy that the 'high' I get from that sense of pride.  It is a feeling that is so much more long lasting and pleasant than the high I get from eating.  The high I get from eating is a fleeting feeling...this empowering prideful high totally feels me with a sense of happiness.  It just feels good to be in control!   And no, being spot on does not mean that I am not eating or just eating one thing.  I'm eating nice quantities of food.  It's amazing that when you are choosing healthy options that you can eat a decent quantity.   It reminds me of the book that used to be a big hit..'this or that'. You see, I can have one serving of chips for 140 calories (give or take) OR I could have a serving of applesauce, grapes AND a string cheese for roughly the same amount of calories.  I'm not saying that I won't have the chips...some days are just 'chip days'....but if I'm choosing the correct foods, I don't have to eat 'less'.

And just to prove that I'm still eating normally and not depriving myself...YET still staying in the correct zone of calories..... why yes, that is the biggest loser on the tv,...and why yes, I have cats that LOVE ice cream!  

Ethel (right) and Desi (left) both eyeball my ice cream

On Monday the bank was closed so I was off work. Hip hip hurray!   Todd didn't have to work until 2, so we headed up to town,  What did we do?  Why we went to the gym!  I spent a half hour on the treadmill running.  I then moved to the upright bike for thirty minutes on a hill climber program.  I was sweaty but feeling great when I was done. 

From the gym, Todd and I headed out to lunch.  We went to a small eatery called Cafe Del Sol.  I got a turkey wrap (no cheese, the calorie buster is the flavored mayo on the sandwich....but OHHH so worth it) and the field greens with a balsamic vinaigrette instead of their homemade chips.    Not bad in terms of calories.   I was happy with my choices.  I felt satisfied with the food I ate and proud of myself.  

After a quick trip to the store, we went home and Todd almost immediately left for work.  I sat down and did some work on my computer, worked on some laundry and did some things around the house.  I contemplated working on some scrapbook stuff, but when I looked at the clock I realized that by the time I got it set up I would be heading out the door.  

Where would I be heading???  Well Monday night is my normal zumba night.  Since I was home and feeling so awesome, I decided that if one hour of zumba sounded fun than two hours would send me into total rapture.  Yes, I headed out to a double session of zumba. I have fun at zumba, I wasn't thinking about the exercise...I was just thinking about the fun and camaraderie that the extra hour would give me!!!

The first hour of class I was on fire!!  I had a pep in my step and I was pushing myself hard.   I was feeling GOOD.  The fifteen minute break came and I stopped moving to talk to my friends and get some extra water before starting round two.  (Technically round three of exercise for the day.)  I don't know if  if was just that my legs were about shot by then or if it was that minimal 15 minute break but the second hour was ROUGH.  The natural pep had totally disappeared from my step.  I had to mentally tell myself to jump and move.  I had to make a concerted effort to push myself.  Even then, I allowed my body to work at the level that I was comfortable with, afterall, I was working on three plus hours of exercise for the day.  I was just having fun.    

I came home from zumba, had dinner and took a shower.   Some nights after zumba (or a really hard workout) I get home and I am totally freezing.....shivering cold.  I stayed in the living room for a few minutes but then decided that I was just COLD.  I decided to go to bed and read!   I curled up under my blankets, petting my cats (they took turns visiting me) and read for a bit.  By the time Todd got home, I was sound asleep!

Today was the big day of the projected snow.  I woke up and it was just starting to fall. I am supposed to be at work until 10.  I know for a fact that we are open for business, so I'll be heading out the door for work in a bit.  I'm only hoping that they realize that the snow is coming down steadily and that it is only going to get worse and thusly send us home at a decent hour.  Like noon....(the news is saying get out in the morning if you MUST go out, but be home by noon). .....however, I have my serious doubts as to getting released early today....

Mind games

As I've written a few times in the last few days, I didn't have a stellar week last week.  I ate way out of control.  I admit it..  It is what it is....it's the past and there is nothing to do but to move on.  I'm not happy with it, but I'm  ok with it.   As I also mentioned, my weight was up on my official weigh in day....Friday morning.    Once again, it is what it is.....I may not like it but I need to accept it.

I accept accepted it but also looked deeply at what needed to be done to correct the problem.  I weighed myself and decided immediately what plan of action I would be taking.  Todd asked for Breakfast Pizza that morning.  My recipe is really tasty...but kind of high in calories.  One slice is about 315 calories.  I will freely admit that I have eaten 2 slices and possibly even three before.  OF all things caloric speaking, that's a lot of calories in one meal....almost my whole daily allowance!   I sat down after my weigh in and planned out my food intake for the day.  Dinner, lunch and breakfast.  I planned out exactly how big my serving would be for our dinner meal.  I planned my lunch and I got to breakfast.  I had enough calories for one slice of breakfast pizza and some applesauce.  I made the pizza and served it up.  I served Todd his typical serving of two slices and placed my one piece on my plate.  It was extremely tasty!  I fought the urge...I wanted to stand up and grab another slice of breakfast pizza so bad!  I went round and round in my head. My body was screaming at me that I needed that other slice.  I was still hungry after all!  My mind and my desire to be thin eventually won the battle and I cleaned up breakfast and went on with my morning, even though I was still a bit hungry.   About  an hour later I made a startling realization.  I wasn't remotely hungry.  I hadn't needed that slice of breakfast pizza after all!!!!

I was strict with my calorie budget on Friday and Saturday.  On Saturday that lesson of not needing food that I had convinced myself that I desperately needed was replayed.  My hunger is in m mind. I just need to remind myself that if I plan out my food with thought and care that what I plan to eat is honestly enough for my body!    Easier said than done!

So it's Sunday evening......I rocked Friday.  I rocked Saturday..and why yes, I did actually rock my eating today too! 

I didn't exercise Friday or Saturday but I was active today.  (Although I will admit that I wanted to cancel my morning walk with my friend.....seriously, it was cold out there!  I didn't...nor did she!).  So that's my next order of business....get that exercise back in line.  (ok, so I actually exercised 4 days this last week...that's not bad.)

Well then.......

Friday morning weigh in was not too spectacular.  I know what I did.  Or rather what I did not do.    Ok, let me get it over with....I gained 0.3.  It could have been worse...but there is still no excuse for it. I ate too much.  I tracked it all...but I just ate too much!

Exercise has been spotty too Why?  I got a new laptop on Wednesday.  I have been trying to move stuff and get everything set up on the new laptop.......and phase out the old one.  I was stressing out because I was halfway onto the computer and half way still on the old computer.  Files were being put in both places and I'm just hoping that I have everything and don't lose anything important.  So I've spent all my spare time trying to get that squared away.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  :-)


So no excuses.  I made the choices that led to a 0.3 gain.....I'm just going to aim to do better this week!  So far, I'm totally on track!!!!!

Fix it

Well another week has passed in this year.....so how did I do on week two....

Not so good!

     

Tracking...check
       I tracked my food everyday.  NO matter if it was good or bad.   

Stay within food budget....FAIL
       Surprisingly, on my 'free day' I remained within my calorie budget.  I fell apart on other days.  Go
       figure.
Exercise.......check
       I squeaked this one out....but managed to make it happen.
Water.....fail
      I don't quite know what happened on this one, other than I just didn't tip the glass up enough times.


This is a good reminder to me.   Fix the problems!  

I think I may like this weekly update...because it has made me really look back at my week and honestly face what I did and where I slipped up.    Slipping up is not a failure (even though I put the word fail beside my weekly goals I did not reach).  The failure is not recognizing it and allowing it to continue.  Failure is ignoring the issues letting one bad week turn into 2 bad weeks.   You see, we all know what happens with two bad weeks........it turns into 2 bad months!   Failure is NOT making a mistake.....failure is not seeing it and correcting it.

So some self tough love for myself, "MaryFran.....Fix it!"

Meanwhile, I'm working on a few things in my life that I've always wanted to work on.  Things that have been in the back of my mind as something I would 'love' to do and say I have done.  It's better to attempt something and say "it didn't happen' versus be old and say "I wish I would have tried that."    So stay tuned for updates on those projects!   This is my year to find me again.   How will "I" look at the end of the year physically and mentally is the question!!!!   

Carbolicious

Bread oh yummy bread!  Why do you have such a delicious hold upon me.   Your crusty edges and soft insides make my heart melt with a taste bud orgasm!  Add a little butter on your warm fluffiness and it’s absolute rapture!.  Pasta…ohhh yummy pasta!!!!   Corkscrews, spaghetti, ziti and penne.  So delicious!

Yes, I am a carb-o-holic!  I love bread, I love pasta.  I love dough.  I love it!  Man CAN live on bread alone.  I know this in my heart to be true. Ha ha ha However, I also know that man (or woman in this case) needs to have the nutrients of other foods, but it is an enticing thought! 

So after those two paragraphs I think it’s fairly obvious that I like bread and would be happy with having a serving of bread or pasta with each meal….or maybe more than one serving, if I want to be honest…because we all know that bread is a wonderful accompaniment to a pasta dish.  I can work a my breads (carbohydrates) into my eating budget.  It’s completely doable to still get my nutrients and still eat my much loved bread and pasta. I’ve done it.  I’ve been healthy while I’ve done it.  However, it’s just not possible for me to lose weight while I’m eating so many carbohydrates, isn’t that sad?  Lets have a moment of silence to mourn this fact………..  

So this week the breads and pastas have crept into my diet. I’ve managed to hold onto my weight…or not....but I’m definitely not dropping.  I know what that means.  And it makes me sad.   Limiting my carbs

That said……being fat makes me sadder.   Being obese makes me downright depressed.  I’ll give up a serving or two of bread or pasta for the time being.  I know that when I’m maintaining I can have more carbs (as long as I am, still getting my base nutrients) and be ok.  But for right now……well I will enjoy the bread and the pasta oh so much more when I do indulge!  (And at least I will still have that one carbolicious meal!) 

On a different note….a few months back I opened myself up to have an article written about me in the local paper.  It took a leap…because I let it all hang out.  I was brutally honest with where I was…where I’ve been….my weight.  EVERYTHING.  I heard some positive responses but then it died down.   Mondy night Zumba started for the year the classes were packed.  I went to the second class and some gals that had helped and were there greeting people came up to me and said, “Thank you for being open in that article.  There were at least 8 new people that tried zumba that  that when we asked them about how they came to try it, they quoted you and your article. “   I guess I should feel honored that sharing my struggles had that impact. 

Down with the Pity Party

It's been a great weekend for friendships.  I got to spend some time with two different friends and I got to spend some time talking on the phone to another friend.  Ahhh...that's the life.

I just got back from a chilly Sunday morning walk with my one friend.  As always, our mouths go a mile a minute as we talk about everything from cooking, to kids, to money matters, to weight loss.  Nothing is taboo and we cover it all.  This morning we spent some time reflecting on weight loss.  She and I have both lost weight.  She and I have both gained weight.  She and I have both struggled.  While we walked along a question was posed "What was different the times that we have actually lost weight?"  and of course that question led to "what happened to make us stop losing and to in fact gain?"  I was easily able to say that I believed in myself. I felt I was worth it. And those two things combined to be the magic to help me lose weight.    

 I was able to trace my weight loss journey.  I decided to lose weight.  I had goals and magical dreams about what life would be like when I lost the weight.  The skies would open, angels would sing, squirrels and chipmunks would dance.  In other words, my life was going to be fantastic.  I believed it and I felt worth of that fantastic life.  I lost the weight and I realized that it wasn't that way.  The chipmunks didn't sing and no angels sang.  My life was exactly the same except that I had a bit more energy and my clothes were a smaller size.  The life problems were still there.....weight loss didn't fix everything. So I gained.  I was valiantly trying to lose weight still..but I felt worthless....life was kicking me.  It was a losing battle...I gained.  I tried weight watchers again but I couldn't get the weight off.  I was listening to life and allowing it to derail me. I was miserable and felt worthless.   I had some life lessons in 2011 and 2012.  I won't go into depth with them, as many of them are intensely personal....but I realized that I'm worth a whole bunch.  I was worth it!  So in 2013 I made a massive push to lose the weight.  I was doing great!  Everything was fine and dandy...and then something happened to shake my sense of self worth.  Damn self worth!   What happened?  I stopped losing and I slowly started gaining.   GRRRRR   

So I can see where the issues begin and end.  I know the problem.  Conversely my friend walked through her weight loss journey and she could trace back to her root problems. It's right there in black and white.

Oh we can say, marital problems, financial problems, death in the family, family obligations, depression, health problems, and whatever other problems that crop up in life.  Those problems are there.  That is not what has caused us to be derailed.  What has caused the derailment is this......it's the dang pity party that we throw!   Yes, some of the marital problems I've faced are...well.....crap to the crappiest degree.  I've faced them and I'm working through what I can.  They have given my self worth a shake, but that's not what derailed me.  I was derailed because I started a pity party!   Finances suck. It really blows to be tight financially.  But you know what.  A roof over ones head and food on ones table is a really good thing.  A pity party about it, is not!  

Enough!   No more pity parties!   Life will beat us down sometimes.  Sometimes there will be things that shake us to the core.  There will be times where we question our worthiness.  That's ok.  Deal with it and continue to live.  

So I was set to run the Chilly Willy 5k yesterday morning. I picked up my race packet the day before.

I was pleased because it was supposed to be warmer than the bone chilling temps.  What a blessing.  However, the 90% chance of rain was not so full of blessing.  Paula and I went to pick up our race packets and when we saw how loosely organized this race was (seriously, I chose my bib number and I don't even believe that they wrote down what bib number I was).   We noticed that the roads were not marked...and they gave us a google map with small arrows depicting the route.   Well, Paula and I decided to sit this run out.  We just didn't find it worth it to go out in cold (it was warmer than the zero degrees...but the 30-40's are still cold...and utterly miserable in the rain!)!  So I got a teeshirt to sleep in.  ha ha ha

The bad thing?   I had planned that as my exercise and of course that time got sucked up by other activities and I didn't get my exercise in.  I had purposefully taken off on Friday.  So I've already used my 2 free pass days on exercise.  I'll push myself.....because in terms of goals...I've already toasted my water consumption on two days also!    Moving forward.......

The food Nazi chronicles!

I managed to officially lose 1.8 pounds this week!  Hip hip hurray!   That is down 85.2 pounds from my bitter highest!   Hot dog!  I will take it!  I'm going down baby!

So this morning I decided to institute something that I used to do.  I'm giving myself a free day.  A day where I'm not concerned about my food intake...or rather where I accept that I will go over my budget and not really worry about it.  Yes, I will still track my food.  But it gives me a day or rather a meal where I can have that good old fashioned comfort food (homemade macaroni and cheese tonight) and not have to count every stinkin' piece of pasta that goes into my mouth like some Nazi General.    I know that I'm going to get some flak from people for announcing this to the world.  I don't care.  This is me...this is how I roll.  And honestly?  When I did this before I would many times find that I ate healthier  or at least and the same average amount of calories as my 'normal' days.  Go figure!  

This journey is not one size fits all. This size worked for me before, and I lost quite a bit of weight doing it that way.  So I'm going to go with it again!   It may not be for everyone.  But that's the beauty of this journey.....what may not work for some will work for others!  It's about finding our own magical equation!

Week 1

Well then, one week is complete in this new year.  Dare I look at the week and see how I've done????  Why yes, lets do so!

So the goals...

*Track my food every day…regardless of what I’m eating.----Check

* Stay within my food budget 6 out of every 7 days. ---check (granted I did eat some of my exercise calories)

* Exercise 5 times a week….at least 30 minutes each time.  Drat....I thought I had this one..I didn't remember the 30 minute restriction.  I exercised 5 days....but one day was only for 20 minutes.  GRRRR

  Water Water Water.  I’m not aiming for perfect.  5 days a week 64 ounces of at least CLOSE  Check

So 3 out of 4 is not bad!  And I only missed that fourth one by 10 stinkin' minutes!

Still cold outside...which is why we got home from town and went right to bed....we are watching tv in bed....why get all comfy warm in the living room and then in an hour move to the bed and have to warm up a whole new set of blankets!  :)

So week one is in the books.  I would like to get back to eating really clean and not relying on those exercise calories. But I'm still going to call this week a success!!!!!!

Baby it's cold outside!

Well it's cold!!!  Frigidly cold.  The heat pump is running near constantly to keep our house warm.....and the floors still seem cold...my feet are FROZEN!  OH well....

So the cold weather deterred me from going out for my morning run.  Oh well.  However, I did go out for a few minutes at 7AM.  I had some experimenting to do.

First we took a pan of boiling water outside and threw it into the air........  Check out the video if you haven't seen this done. It's pretty cool!

Then I took my bubbles outside and blew some bubbles.  Also pretty cool.  You can see that the one bubble was frozen and shattered.....

Then I came inside and did something that I love to do on cold winter days....I baked.  Banana muffins this time

I was good though, I knew I was baking them so I didn't eat breakfast until they came out of then oven....I made these yummy concoctions my breakfast (no I didn't eat all of them...ONE was my breakfast!).  I managed and planned!  

Onward I go!  I will succeed!

Routine

I weigh every day (or try to...some days......well, I'm not perfect!).   I know that some people are dead set against weighing daily. This post is not intended to spark a debate, I'm just saying that this is what works for me.  It is what worked for me when I previously lost 130 plus pounds.  It's what I stopped doing right before I subsequently regained some of the weight.  For me it's a tool.  I don't worship the scale.  I get on the scale at a certain point each morning. (after the bathroom visit but before breakfast...and preferably naked or near 'nekid').  I weigh myself and I move on.  For me, it is a mini boost to let me know that what I'm doing is working.  And sometimes, it's a mini lesson to say 'not good MF', tighten those reins.    Are there days that I look at the scales and say "Dangit??? "  Days where I just want to throw in the towel?  YES, but knowing that I am going to have to step on the scale the next day helps keep me in line.  Honestly, the days that get me down the most are the days where my weight remains the exact same for a few days in a row.

So why am I talking about weighing daily?   For a couple of reasons.   I started watching and weighing myself daily at the beginning of this past week...and the numbers on those darn scales sat at roughly the same number. I HATE THAT!  Yet I kept plugging on, doing what I needed to do.   Yesterday I struggled. I wanted to eat.  I was hungry....dinner was late and it would have been so easy to go to the kitchen and get an extra bite of food. However, I didn't have the calories for it...so I refrained.  I so didn't want to exercise.  However, I made myself.  Ohhh, don't think it's all that great....I didn't go long....I didn't go hard.  But 20 minutes is better than nothing!    So this morning I stepped on the scale...and the numbers had dropped.  VICTORY!  Just what I needed to see after yesterday.  A drop on the scales....a reward for my efforts yesterday.  Confirmation that the choices that I made were the right ones!     THAT is why I weigh everyday. (The thing is this......if I'm making the right choices, the weight WILL drop...maybe not at the rate that I want it to drop, but drop it will!)

So my plans are made for my eating today.  I've got plans for a trip to the gym.  I'm working on sucking down the liquid to get my water intake.  I'm hot on the trail!  I'm keeping up with the routine...the consistency.....it will pay off (and the scales this morning validated that!)

Have a go look...you won't be sorry!

I really don't have much to say other than BRRR it's cold outside.  It reminds me of my Junior (or maybe it was Senior....no Junior) year or college.  It got bitterly cold that year something like way below zero. (Yes, I'm very technical with my 'way below zero' comment).   I SHOULD be running tomorrow morning.  However....well....it's dang cold out there.  And the road I live on is still trecherous.  So bitter cold and icy road make a combination that I'm not going to attempt.  Call me wimpy.....but it just isn't gonna happen!   I guess I'll be on the exercise bike. The problem with my exercise bike?  The timer doesn't work...nor does the display that tells me how far I've pedaled....but hey, at least I can change the resistance!  How I'm keeping track for my mileage goals?  I know round about what I do currently when I push myself and what I do if I'm taking it easy...so yeah, I'm guesstimating.

My food is pretty well on target.  It's been difficult some days.  (yeah, I know, it's only been three days)  I literally had the chocolate covered pretzels open and my hand was hovering over the treat before I came to my senses.  Yes, I came to my sense and closed the candy without even having a sniff of the chocolate!  And it was Dark chocolate which I LOVE!  With SPrinkles!   VICTORY!

I was talking to my manager at work today and I mentioned my victory and she looked at me and said "I was kinda disappointed that you didn't do what you did last year"   I remarked that I was trying to go with straight up willpower to resist.   She looked at me and said "what you did last year was really helpful."  So here is last years project.

In case you can't tell what I did?  I took small post it notes and broke down exactly how many calories were in each individual piece.  I made it more in my face exactly how many calories I would be consuming if I ate the candy.    When my other co-worker heard the conversation she said "YES, please do!  My husband and I just bought a boat and I'll be out on the river all summer in a bikini!"    So my first task at work tomorrow will be to label the huge piles of goodies!

So today was my first official weigh in for the year 2014.  231.6   GRRRR   That is so not a number I wanted to see again.  But it's my number.  I accept it.  I accept it for the work that it took me to get there from my highest weight of 315.  But equally importantly, I accept it for the failure that brought me back up to 231.6.   I accept it and I am committed to never seeing that number again!  NEVER!


LOVED my brothers post on Facebook.......and why yes, I did share his name and not white it out...there is a reason....  but seriously...read the post....  THIS is how I want to be when I get this weight off!!!!  I would love to be able to eat with impunity.....and I guess if I have to log 5200 miles on a bike to do it.....well.....

So why did I openly share my brothers name????   Because my brother builds the most FABULOUS furniture!!  I'm lucky enough that I have picked up some of his pieces simply because I'm his sister but he does sell various items that he's designed.   He sells under his own name  Alan Clingan Furniture (hey we like our last name...even though it's now my maiden name...I still kept it as part of my name!) and has a website with a cool portfolio....and also has pictures of  different stuff on facebook.  Check him out.  He's  pretty cool guy also!  (and no, he hasn't paid me to say nice things about hims since we were kids ha ha ha)  Seriously...go look! 

Ready, Set, Go!

The new year is here!   I started out the year strong.  I started out with running a 5k this morning.  It was the last 5k that I had to run to complete the trilogy of holiday 5k's that I had committed to completing.  These were set up as virtual events.  (although my Thanksgiving 5k was an actual organized Turkey Trot).  

Seriously, what was up with my head band.......

While I was running this morning I was actually thinking about riding my bike.  Last year I rode my bike.  I enjoyed it...but stayed to pretty much the same route.  I pushed through the first (dare I say awful) few rides on my new bike.  I got to the point where I was out riding.  I rode and I'm not going to say that it was all easy....but I will say that I was out there.  Yet I hesitated to leave my normal route.  I hesitated to hit the open road.  I struggled.  Today I figured out exactly what was the problem?   I was afraid.  I was afraid that I would come upon a hill that I couldn't climb.  I was afraid that I would get a flat tire.  I was afraid that I would get too far from home and get so tired I couldn't make it home.  Looking at it realistically (and of course it helped that I was far removed from either of my bicycles at the time) I am once again blown away at how irrational fear really is.  So what if I can't climb a hill....I walk.  No, I don't want to walk and I've pushed myself up hills, slow as molasses sometimes but I pushed myself up every hill I came across.   If I get a flat tire....well that is rough.  I know HOW to change a tire, but I have issues with changing them.  (my brother did give me a lesson...but I still struggled to get that darn tire back on).  But seriously, even if I get a flat....is it the end of the world if I have to call for a ride???  And even more unrealistic.....if I run out of steam....there are two options...calling fora ride but in all reality I'm pretty darn sure that I would find a store of energy deep within myself.   Once again it turns out my fears are totally irrational.    So what do I do with this knowledge??   The first chance I get (once I get my legs back under me on my bike) when the weather gets warm....I head down a road that I don't know and I RIDE!