I'm All In

All or nothing.  I do tend to sink into that category.   I tend to be an all or nothing type of girl.  I find something I like or want to do and I immerse myself in it.   It is in every aspect of my life.  I find an author I like and I read everything by that author.  I find a craft project I like and I focus all of my attention on that craft.  For all of these things eventually something else comes along that diverts the focus and I move on to the next thing.  In this way I've have in a way become a jack of all trades, master of none.   That's ok, I can accept this fact about myself.

Historically,  when I'm eating right I'm looking at my food journal constantly, tweaking and arranging; plotting and planning. Lots and lots of time.  When I'm exercising right it's my sole focus.  Nothing gets in the way.    I research exercise.  I research the 'sport of the month' or injuries as the case may be recently.    I spend all my time focusing on those things that other things slip by the wayside.

The problem is that for me to be healthy and productive, I can't have an all or nothing attitude.   There needs to be balance.  I need to be focused on my goals but not let life slip by.  Spending two or three hours of exercise each day is awesome and I don't begrudge those days that I've done that. (Long bike rides followed by an exercise class or a walk with a friend quickly eats up 3 hours of a day).  However, it's bad when I give up doing something that makes me happy and brings me joy.  I went months and barely touched my camera gear.  I truly enjoy playing around within the photographic realm of things.  It makes me happy...yet I gave it up in this hellfire bent to exercise.  Well....technically I didn't give it up, I just didn't have time for it.

I want to be healthy mind, body and spirit. So I have to find a way to to lose that all or nothing attitude.  I need to find a way to be super focused on my goals but also relaxed enough to nurture my  mind.

I've come a long way....now it's just fine tuning what I know and getting the weight loss rolling again!

Meanwhile.  I woke up to a rainy morning with a pounding headache.  I think I'm going to curl up on this couch and rest until it's time to go to work.   Hopefully I'll feel better and maybe hop on the exercise bike this evening. 

Here are a few pictures I snapped the other day and boy did it feel good to have my camera in my hands again (even though that tendon in my arm screamed in pain anytime I held the camera or depressed the shutter!)