Doing battle with my mind

My  mind plays tricks on me.  Yesterday morning I carefully figured out the calories on my favorite food at Southwest Moe's Grill. I ALWAYS order the regular size.  However, on the restaurants website  I saw that the regular size was roughly 750-800 calories and the junior size was 468.  Hmmm, that's a huge difference!   468 was doable.  So I planned to eat the junior size.  However, I got to the restaurant and my mom pulled out a buy one get one free coupon.  She and my dad were splitting a regular sized burrito, the free one was for me.  My burrito was going to be free!   Financially speaking, it made sense for me to get the regular sized burrito.  Seriously!  It makes sense right?  I got up to where you place your order.  I said "I want the Art Vandalay."
That part of my order was never in question.  The size issue is what was roaring through my brain!
  I looked at the guy and I wanted to stop right then and there and get the regular sized burrito.  It was free!  Yummy vegetarian burrito...FREE!   But then I finished my order......."Junior".   I know we have faced a fiscal cliff and that I just wasted the opportunity to get MORE free food than I already did.  I can tell myself that I would only eat half of it. I could seriously eat half of it and put the rest aside for dinner.  What a GRAND PLAN!  However, I know that I would fail miserably at that plan. I knew that if the food was in front of me that I would   Therefore, I summoned all of my will power and I added the word junior onto my order.  You know what?  I was still quite full and satisfied after a junior burrito!  This journey is only partly about my stomach ....it REALLY is a mental game!  (ohh and I carted my big water jug into Moe's with me, no asparatame laden diet soda or crystal light for me.  WATER baby!!!!)

I joined a weight loss group on line and then was drafted into another.  One weight loss group weighs in on Sundays. The other one is Monday.  OK, not a problem.  I can weigh myself both days.  This is easy.  it will keep me on target on Saturday since I have a weigh in on Sunday.  It will also keep me on target on Sunday since I have to face the music on Monday also.  How perfect is that?  I had taken a sneak peak at the scales midway through last week.  My weight was down.  I was ecstatic.  So yesterday I hop on the scales and low and behold I was up. (still down from my previous Sunday weight).  Uhhh really?   I ate RIGHT!  I ignored the wine!  I ignored the beer!  I ignored the snacks!  I drank water and only ate one chocolate covered strawberry at a party for goodness sake!  And I gained?  WTF? (for the sake of honesty and integrity, I will admit it was less than a half pound up from where I was at my sneak peak..but still)  I stepped off the scale.  I wanted to scream!  Why?  I did it right and the scales didn't reflect my efforts.  I gathered my emotions and reminded myself that the scales are a fickle thing.  I didn't let the number on the scale deter me from my mission.  I watched my food intake.  At the end of the day I even had enough for a half cup of ice cream (of course individually packaged by me, in my freezer for ease of consumption without the temptation).  This morning I was nervous as I stepped on the scales.  I had weighed up a bit yesterday and I had that ice cream late at night, but it was all accounted for.  I ate RIGHT even though the disappointment with the scales in the morning made me want to run screaming and crying to the nearest bucket of food.  I stepped on.   And Low and behold I was down a pound from my sneak peak weight!  I lost 3 pounds this past week!   The scales do not always tell the true story.  Yesterday, I KNEW that, and I held firm and waited until the scales actually correctly showed my efforts!

Transamerican virtual walk is going well.  I'm 45.2 miles in.....I'm heading towards Glendale, VA!