I noticed a weird thing when I was running regularly this spring. My runs were marked by a mental battle. There was a voice in my head that was constantly screaming at me to stop running. I would falter in my running constantly as I listened to the voices. Finally I took on the mantra of “MaryFran, you are not dying, keep running” This carried over into biking and zumba and virtually everything. I had to push myself past that little wall. The weird thing? Once I pushed past the wall the voice started to fade a bit. Oh it screamed on occasion. It told me when I was going too fast or too long but quitting ceased to be something it told me to do. It took a bit, but I trained that voice to recognize that quitting was NOT an option so it may as well save it’s breath.
I took my medically imposed break from running and have started to get back to my religiously scheduled runs. Some of the bad habits returned. My last two runs from last week (Wednesday and Saturday) were marked by this screaming voice in my head. My steps faltered a few times before I said “Buck up MaryFran and continue running”. As I neared the end, the voice constantly bellowed in my ear that “no one will know if you walk the rest of the way”. It was a pure mental battle. This morning, there were some physical aches and pains but that voice that was telling me to stop was blissfully silent. It realized that I was running and that it was not going to win!
Brrrr this morning was COLD!
Why yes, that was a frosty ice on my windshield!
But the morning was pretty!
And yes, I got my run in!!!!!! No pauses for walking. I just need to remember when it’s cold that gloves are a MUST! My average pace is holding right at an average of about 13 minutes per mile. (seems to be holding steady with an average between 12:50 and 13:20 each run) That time will decrease. I have my goals. (shhhh don’t tell anyone but my goals are to run a mile in less than 10 minutes….and yeah, I’m still seriously contemplating a half marathon! Plus I have a century bike ride to get under my belt!!!!!! Lots of goals!!!)
My food is planned out for today and I’m determined to keep it in check and stay on track! I can do this. I KNOW what to do. I know how to do it. And conversely, I know that doing it is NOT a hardship, it’s just different.
And I know you are going to do this.
ReplyDeleteAfter 4 years of running I still haven't shut up that voice in my head. It's not with me on every runs but from time to time it's there. And I have to admit that in those 4 years I sometimes listened to it but most of the times I ignored it.
I firmly believe that running is mostly mental. Yes, you have to train your muscles and body to take the pounding, but your body can do way more than your mind thinks it can. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're out there doing it. I think the hardest part is starting back up after you've stopped, even if you stopped because you had to.
P.S. You can totally do a half marathon! :-)
Don't you just wanna punch that annoying voice in your head?! You're still doing great I see. So proud of you :)
ReplyDeletexo
Eesh | The Other Side of Paradise