Goals and well just because

My bucket list has some things on it.   Every once in a while I go back and look at the list to update it and see my progress.  In the last year I've been able to knock a few things off of that list.     Today I went back to that list.  I wanted to update a running bucket list goal.


That goal was to run a 10 minute or less mile....and to do it officially with a sub thirty 5k.  (that is actually two different items).   I was pleasantly surprised to see that a while back (probably in a fit of insanity) I put to run a half marathon on my bucket list.  Really????   Nice.

So I was looking at my list.  If I can carry out my plans I could conceivably complete at least 7 items by the end of year 2014 (that's two thousand fourteen....a year and two months....not this year!)   What 7 items???

1.  Be at my goal weight
2.  Ride a quarter century ride
3.  ride a half century ride
4.  ride a century ride
5.  run a half marathon
6.  run a mile in less than 10
7.  run a sub 30 5k

(ok, so that time limit ones are more iffy.....I could train and train and train and not get my speed that fast,...it may be an impossibility for me) But I'm going to try!

There are a few more that I could conceivably knock off....but we shall see!  :-)

Meanwhile, these sinus issues just have to go AWAY! I was going to ignore the sinus issues and run this morning regardless of how I feel.  However, it was rainy and icky.   Uhhhh probably not the best combination.  I don't want to compound whatever ick I'm dealing with!

 So just because this is the way I roll I want to share some wardrobe malfunctions I've had in the last few months.

The weekend is almost here.  I've got this!

Little bit of this and a little bit of that

Ok, I'm not quite ready to be up and celebrating yet....but I realized this morning that my heel (plantars fasciitis) has not bothered me at all this week.  I even did zumba on Monday night without it taped.  I wore heels to work yesterday.  I have done everything wrong this week and I've been pretty good.   SHhhhhhhh  like I said, I'm not quite ready to celebrate, but dare I hope that things are looking up on that front????   I'm still going to keep my tape handy and tape the foot at any twinge and also if I do a double 'high impact' exercise day. (ie double zumba sessions.....or a run followed by zumba, etc).  Precaution!

My arm is still hurting, but other than while I'm sleeping, it's not to bad.  My main deterrent this week from exercise is this sinus pressure, accompanying headaches and the sniffles.  I'm basically miserable.  Of course last year I ran through this crap. Hmmmmm, does that mean it's an excuse right now?????


My eating has been pretty good this week.  One day at a time.  I can't look at the long week right now.  I've failed so may times when I do that.  So right now, my plan is to win one day at a time!

Water...well, I gave up the diet soda that had crept back into my daily life.  However, I replaced it with.....NOTHING.  OOPS.  Working on that too!

Nut Job

Mark your calendars….May 3 and May 4^th.   Why are we marking our calendars?   Well, I have been advised of a half marathon that takes place that weekend in a nearby town. The Frederick Half Marathon (Frederick Maryland)  Special thanks to Deb  over at DebsDailyLife for alerting me of this event and offering to virtually train for it with me!   I’ve been toying with the half marathon thing. So this is the perfect option for me.   It’s not so close that I’ll be struggling to get ready.  It’s not too far that I will lose momentum and or forget about the whole thing.  (It’s about 6 months away). 

The actual half marathon is on Sunday the 4^th.  On Saturday evening they are having a twilight 5k.  If you do both you get an extra medal…..the nut job medal.   Ok, I have to say that I was REALLY tempted to do it.  How funny is that????  “Nut Job”?????   But then I started to think about the fact that this will be my first half marathon (I still can’t believe that I’m seriously contemplating this…it seems surreal).   As much as I think it would be a HOOT to have a nut job medal, I think I’m only going to do the half marathon.  I think that will be a challenge enough for me at this time.  (Thoughts?????  Should I pass or should I attempt???)

The thing that concerns me is the fact that they have a time limit and sweep the course….a 14 minute pace is where they sweep.  Yikes…I’m running about a 13 minute pace right now.  And that’s only between 3-5 miles (Ok ok ok, I’ve only run 5 miles ONCE…..but I did run 5 miles once….)  Right before my foot issues started I was running a 12 minute pace.    So unless I pick up some speed in the next 6 months, I will be in serious danger of being swept.

So my thoughts are this.  Spend the next three months working on speed.  This will involve running regularly and just trying to knock my speed by the normal things…. hills and intervals.  (we back to those dreaded hills that keep popping up in my exercise....like here when I faced down my nemesis)   That will take me to the beginning of February when I will officially start training for the half marathon. (Building up endurance will be the name of the game).    After the half marathon, I can switch my full attention over to the bike and I WILL complete my century ride next year…fall maybe????

Am I nuts? 

So this morning I was supposed to run…and woke up feeling absolutely miserable.  Dang sinus drainage is killing me.  Miserable I tell you!   So what did I do?   I stayed in bed.  And I also did not pack my gym bag for a post work run or workout.   However, I’m so excited to have an evening at home by myself (Todd works tonight) to get some things done.  I’ve got a website that is in dire need of updating.  I’ve got blogs that I am so far behind in reading.  I’ve got a story that I promised a friend for a podcast….I promised it eons ago, and while I have the story plot in my head, it hasn’t been written.  OOPS.     So tonight is a ‘reset’ trying to get myself back on track and not so far behind on these things.   Maybe that’s a good thing also.   Balance!!!!!

Balance is good, but I have goals and plans….which means I have to RUN!

Feeding frenzy

A few days of vacation and my eating has been out of control.    Desserts have bite my butt almost every day.  Oh who am I kidding....every day.  I've eaten fuller meals than normal too.  My typical mode of operation is to eat one to two of my means as lighter meals...meaning more fruits and veggies.   I've been lucky to get one fruit or vegetable in daily!  Chocolate...comes from cocoa beans....so my chocolate milkshake after the  is a vegetable right??  And that peanut butter in the chocolate chip peanut butter bars I made is nuts...that's healthy isn't it???   And hey!  I DID use low fat cream cheese on my Panera Bread bagel (cinnamon crunch) the other morning!!!  That's gotta count for something!!!!  Diet Pepsi is a good substitute for water...so Pepsi says...so I'm ok right??

So yeah, it's not been pretty.

I've avoided putting my weight on here.  But it's time to be real.  It's time to be open.  It's time to get back to business.

220.5

Mindset

I noticed a weird thing when I was running regularly this spring.  My runs were marked by a mental battle.  There was a voice in my head that was constantly screaming at me to stop running.  I would falter in my running constantly as I listened to the voices.  Finally I took on the mantra of “MaryFran, you are not dying, keep running”   This carried over into biking and zumba and virtually everything.  I had to push myself past that little wall.  The weird thing?   Once I pushed past the wall the voice started to fade a bit.  Oh it screamed on occasion.  It told me when I was going too fast or too long but quitting ceased to be something it told me to do.  It took a bit, but I trained that voice to recognize that quitting was NOT an option so it may as well save it’s breath.

I took my medically imposed break from running and have started to get back to my religiously scheduled runs.  Some of the bad habits returned.  My last two runs from last week (Wednesday and Saturday) were marked by this screaming voice in my head.  My steps faltered a few times before I said “Buck up MaryFran and continue running”.  As I neared the end, the voice constantly bellowed in my ear that “no one will know if you walk the rest of the way”.  It was a pure mental battle.  This morning, there were some physical aches and pains but that voice that was telling me to stop was blissfully silent.  It realized that I was running and that it was not going to win!

Brrrr this morning was COLD!  

Why yes, that was a frosty ice on my windshield!

But the morning was pretty!

And yes, I got my run in!!!!!!  No pauses for walking.   I just need to remember when it’s cold that gloves are a MUST!  My average pace is holding right at an average of  about 13 minutes per mile. (seems to be holding steady with an average between 12:50 and 13:20 each run)   That time will decrease.  I have my goals.  (shhhh don’t tell anyone but my goals are to run a mile in less than 10 minutes….and yeah, I’m still seriously contemplating a half marathon!  Plus I have a century bike ride to get under my belt!!!!!!   Lots of goals!!!)

My food is planned out for today and I’m determined to keep it in check and stay on track!  I can do this.  I KNOW what to do.  I know how to do it.  And conversely, I know that doing it is NOT a hardship, it’s just different.  

A long way indeed

This morning I had a grand epiphany.  When the news article was in the paper I had made a comment that "with everyone watching, I would be super motivated becasue I didn't want everyone to see me fail".   But I think it's had the opposite affect.  Everyone has read about my worst so why bother???  Or another way to put it would be to just 'get it over with....fail at this losing weight thing and accept the embarrassment'.  Isn't that horrible???   But it's the truth.   And that kind of thinking is sabataging my weight loss efforts. 

Today Todd and I spent some time going through some stuff in storage.  I found two bins of clothes that I had carefully stored.  I pulled out the first pair of jeans and Todd, who was looking over my shoulder made a comment. "What elephant wore those?"   HE was thinking that they were an old pair of his jeans and was trying to be amusing.  I looked at the tag inside and had to honestly answer, "ME".  Yes, they were my pants.   I dug further into the box and I was pleasantly surprised.  The clothes had been all carefully stored away as I gained weight. Ironically enough, I found clothes that I can currently wear...how cool is that?   There were way outdated clothes (can we say "hello 80's") and there were clothes that had to be thrown away and or donated.  There were clothes that I wouldn't wear again just because my styles have changed.    Basically this box was a bin of clothes I outgrew or couldn't bear to get rid of.  Below is a picture of me holding a pink shirt that I absolutely loved.  (Todd commented, "you used to wear that all the time.)   I could almost fit two of me in that shirt!!!

  

All in all the bins were a good find.  I got some 'new/old' clothes to wear.  (and yes, some favorites have made their way into my washing machine) but more importantly, I had a reminder of exactly how far I've come.  Yes, I've still got a ways to go, but I've come a LONG LONG WAY!!!!

We are what we eat

Tonight I was at home and I was making a 'healthy' cake. So many people talk about this cake.  It's the talk of weight watchers meetings.   An Angel food box cake mix and a can of cherry pie filling.  Mix those two ingredients together and then bake according to the instructions on the box.  As simple as that and works like a charm.  Or the famed diet soda cake.  A cake mix and a can of diet soda mixed together.....voila.   Healthy cake.   Ok, I felt bad even typing that.....a healthier version calorie wise at least.......yes, that's better!

100 calorie packs?  Snackwells?  Light versions of this?   High Fiber?  Low sodium?   Low fat?   1/2 the calories?   Healthy foods....right?????????

I am going to preface the rest of this post by saying that I DO buy some of the aforementioned products.   100 calorie packs are great for portion control for those weeks where I just can't do it on my own.  I find that some low fat or light products are just as good as the regular and therefore yes, I will use them.  I'm not immune to the 'healthy food' craze.....and I'm sure that I will still continue to buy them and use them and create them in the future.

Are we really being healthy with all these alternative products?    What are these products really teaching us?   TO have our cake and eat it too?  Are they helping us to avoid the truth about our society and the way we eat?  I think so.   You see, those are not healthy foods.  They are foods that are altered to allow us to eat them with less guilt.  They are foods that are adjusted so that we can still eat them and still lose weight.

However, healthy foods are the fruits....grapes, bananas, kiwi, apples, etc.   Vegetables...peas, green beans, beets, etc.   They are the healthy whole grains and dairy.  They are the natural foods that lack the mad processing.   We are what we eat...I want to be healthy...so I will eat TRULY healthy foods as my main source of food.

Just do it!

I've been doing fairly well with my exercise.  Last week one day (Wednesday) I went running and had an abysmal run.  I'll admit I was freaking out a bit in my mind, wondering if my lackadaisical   approach to running had set me back to the beginning of my training.  Yes, I was worried because that wouldn't   be good....not the end of the world but not good.  On Saturday I went out running. Or rather I tried to go out running.   It started to downright pour rain when I was heading out.  The MaryFran of late would have thrown in the towel and skipped the run.  Not on Saturday!  I hit the gym!   I ran for 65 minutes on the treadmill.  Ok ok ok, I would run 10 and then walk 2.5 minutes...then run another ten minutes.  I also did some ab work (ouch...I can still feel it!)

So Monday rolled around.  It was a bank holiday so I was off work and I had plans to go to Lancaster. Pa with my parents and my brother and his family.  I actually woke up super early to get what I had to so done....and allow myself time to go out running.  Yes, I ran!   And I did fantastic.  I ran at a comfortable pace and my pace was one of my fastest runs since this foot problem started.  Amazing how just a little consistency results in improvement.

So yeah, let's talk about Lancaster county, Pa....land of smorgasbords (buffets) and delicious desserts.  Ok, let's not!   No seriously.  I didn't do too badly. I did have a piece of shoe fly pie (my favorite and utterly delicious pie....I don't make it, I could but I don't...it is a treat I give myself when we go to Lancaster....which is usually at the most 4 times a year...give or take). I did eat off one smorgasbord.   I ate a plate of food (heavy on veggies as I don't much like meat...although shockingly i did eat a bit of ham...first time in years) a salad...and that piece of shoe fly pie.  For dinner we stopped on the way home at a Chili's.   I had a buffalo chicken salad (the chicken was breaded and fried....I won't pretend that the chicken was prepared in a health obvious manner) and at dinner I munched on some tortilla chips.   So not exactly healthy.  But the true victory is that I never ate yesterday to the point of feeling sick. I was full but never so stuffed I was sick!

Backing up to my Monday morning run...some of my deepest thoughts hit me while I am running.  I was thinking about my friend Paula (hi Paula!!). Who hooked up with me for my abysmal run and also the gym run.  I told her about those still very tentative thoughts that I have on running a half marathon (we won't even mention the full...although that thought is there too...just a lot quieter at this time).  Paula immediately looked at me and said 'I'm in!'  She also found a picture of the teeshirt that I want to get when I complete it and actually earn it!

During this talk we had mentioned one friend that is always saying she is joining us, but to the best of our knowledge has yet to run 5 feet.  There are always excuses.  So on Monday morning this conversation was floating in my head as a remembrance and one phrase kept coming to my mind.  'Just do it'.  Stop talking about it.   Stop planning to do it.  Stop making promises that you are not going to keep.  Just do it!!   I understood the words behind the phrase for all these years, but I didn't really grasp the depth of that phrase and what it means to, well...life.  Just do it!  I was a naysayer for years who always talked about doing it.  I was a planner for years 'tomorrow I'm going to start running' or 'as soon as I get myself some running shoes...or a workout outfit or whatever'. I'll be out there.  Excuses!!!   Just do it!  Stop talking about how much you want to do it...stop talking about your plans describing how you are going to or how much you want it. Just do it!!!!    Exercise, fitness and weight loss is divided into two groups of people.  People that live that phrase....or people that live in fear of that phrase.    I want to and have once again started to live that phrase.  Just do it!!!

Inspiration comes on all forms

Last night Todd and I watched a movie.  It was on TV and Todd was into it and very shortly I was enthralled.   Can I say inspirational?     What movie did I watch?   Men of Honor, based upon a true life story.   The story is about Carl Brashear, a young black man who joined the Navy shortly after they desegregated it.  He had his dreams and he pursued them under incredible odds and incredibly resistance.  He was extremely successful in reaching and actually exceeding his goals. (Watch the movie…or at the very least go and read about Carl Brashear online.)

This man knew what he had to do to reach his goals.  He stood up against terrible prejudice (he was black in a time when there was little or no equality for black people).  He stood up against terrible odds (lacking the formal education that would make the book learning at dive school easier).  He overcame incredible injuries and still succeeded.   His navy career was marked with many ‘firsts’. 

Our goals and desires are attainable.  Carl Brashear proves it.  It may not be easy.  It may not be a quick trip to reach those goals.  However, persistence and a deep rooted desire will make any dream attainable!

This morning, with the thoughts of this movie in my mind I woke up.  I was going for a run.  Seriously, what was a little rain going to hurt me?  Rain didn’t hurt me….but it hurt me to see it all over the floor inside my front door.  An hour later and gutters cleaned (thereby stopping the overflow of water down the front wall…and through the frame and into my house…or however it’s happening) and I discovered that a cat had ‘missed’ the liter box.  Another hour later and the laundry room had been emptied, liter boxes scrubbed, floor and wall disinfected, liter boxes refilled with fresh liter and returned to place.   It was 9:26 when I got into the shower……I have to be at work by 10……so you know my run didn’t happen this morning.   I have this evening though…I can and WILL exercise this evening!

I'm All In

All or nothing.  I do tend to sink into that category.   I tend to be an all or nothing type of girl.  I find something I like or want to do and I immerse myself in it.   It is in every aspect of my life.  I find an author I like and I read everything by that author.  I find a craft project I like and I focus all of my attention on that craft.  For all of these things eventually something else comes along that diverts the focus and I move on to the next thing.  In this way I've have in a way become a jack of all trades, master of none.   That's ok, I can accept this fact about myself.

Historically,  when I'm eating right I'm looking at my food journal constantly, tweaking and arranging; plotting and planning. Lots and lots of time.  When I'm exercising right it's my sole focus.  Nothing gets in the way.    I research exercise.  I research the 'sport of the month' or injuries as the case may be recently.    I spend all my time focusing on those things that other things slip by the wayside.

The problem is that for me to be healthy and productive, I can't have an all or nothing attitude.   There needs to be balance.  I need to be focused on my goals but not let life slip by.  Spending two or three hours of exercise each day is awesome and I don't begrudge those days that I've done that. (Long bike rides followed by an exercise class or a walk with a friend quickly eats up 3 hours of a day).  However, it's bad when I give up doing something that makes me happy and brings me joy.  I went months and barely touched my camera gear.  I truly enjoy playing around within the photographic realm of things.  It makes me happy...yet I gave it up in this hellfire bent to exercise.  Well....technically I didn't give it up, I just didn't have time for it.

I want to be healthy mind, body and spirit. So I have to find a way to to lose that all or nothing attitude.  I need to find a way to be super focused on my goals but also relaxed enough to nurture my  mind.

I've come a long way....now it's just fine tuning what I know and getting the weight loss rolling again!

Meanwhile.  I woke up to a rainy morning with a pounding headache.  I think I'm going to curl up on this couch and rest until it's time to go to work.   Hopefully I'll feel better and maybe hop on the exercise bike this evening. 

Here are a few pictures I snapped the other day and boy did it feel good to have my camera in my hands again (even though that tendon in my arm screamed in pain anytime I held the camera or depressed the shutter!)

Eating myself Sick

I kick myself every time it happens. Seriously?   What kind of idiot continues to eat when they are full, stuffed even! What kind of dummy feels bloated and stuffed to the gills yet still decides to eat lunch simply because it’s lunch time? This dummy apparently. 

That kind of behavior used to be the norm.  I would eat until I was literally sick to my stomach.  Before that bloated icky feeling would even go away, I would be right there shoveling more food down my gullet.  My life was a constant round of stomach aches.  It wasn’t until I had started to lose weight and really manage my food intake that I realized that the stomach aches were caused by my gluttony.  I was eating myself sick. 

You would think that when I made this discovery that the problem would go away.  However I must be incredibly dense.  This behavior crops up over and over and over again.  Thankfully less and less often, but it’s still embedded in my memory bank of behaviors to act upon.

Yes, I’m writing this because I have recently lived a few days of this behavior. Monday was the worst.  I woke up.  I got dressed to go out for a run.  I had to drop something off for Todd so I headed out.  I don’t like to run on a full stomach so I planned to eat after my run.  However I had packed my lunch for work.  Things happened (lets not go there….) and I never got the run in.  I went home and I was so stressed out about those ‘things that happened’ that I had some homemade bread and then decided to eat some leftover Mexican chicken soup that I had in the fridge.  It was soooooo tasty and I knew that there was one bowl left so I ADDED it to my lunch box. Lunch rolled around and I was not even remotely hungry but I carted my butt up the stairs to the lunch room and heated up that soup.  Did I stop at the soup (and the tortilla chips that went with it…and yes I had tortilla chips with the soup at breakfast too).  Heck no!  I ate some cottage cheese and some fruit…most of the original items in my lunchbox.   What was my reasoning for the ‘extra items’ that were above and beyond the ultra filling soup and chips?   It’s very simple really.  I knew that I wasn’t going to be packing a lunch for work until Friday due to a vacation day , a half day and a late start day.  That food would/could have gone bad!  I didn’t want to waste it! 

I was miserable and then asked myself all day what in the world I was doing to myself.   Why would I mindlessly shovel food into my body, a body that was already rebelling against me.  It makes no sense.  Absolutely insane, if you ask me!  Yet I continually fall into that trap and habit.

I’m not going to say that I’ll never do it again.  I’m an addict. I have an addiction to food and I KNOW that I will slip up again in the future.  I’m just writing this to affirm that I KNOW that it is happening. I’m saying that I don’t like it and I am going to TRY to guard against it.

Meanwhile, I think I’m falling apart physically.  Yes, I do.  Lets start at the bottom:

The left foot…the tarsal nerve is still periodically kicking….along with the plantars fasciitis.

The right foot….the tarsal nerve is bothering me.  I’m freaked out because from what I read the tarsal nerve can precipitate the plantar’s fasciitis (the nerve helps support the arch so when the nerve is messed up the arch loses it’s support and thereby ‘falls’ and that can irritate the plantar)

My back…my lower back has given me grief for a few years.  Yes, in 2011 I was really bad and actually had to take some time off work, simply because I couldn’t move…literally.  It was horrible!   So that was been sensitive a few days recently. I’ve rested it and stretched it and it seems to be better now.

My right arm……what the heck?  I started to feel pain the day I did my 3 bushels of apples (applesauce and apple butter).  I figured it was just a tensed muscle from the work.  Two days later I did a full day photo shoot (the wedding).  At the end of the evening I was getting my gear packed to go home and there was a sharp pain in my arm and from then on my arm HURTS.  It hurts to hold a pen and write. It hurts to type.  It hurts to move my fingers.  It hurts to touch my arm.  It hurts.  GRRR.  It has been suggested that I have tendonitis….or something akin to tennis elbow.  Really????

Otherwise, I’m feeling pretty good. 

Control Freak

It's no secret that I've struggled in the last few weeks, ok months.  My weight has been at a standstill since early July.  I've not totally gone off deep end.  However, I've slipped into some bad habits.

One of the bad habits I've picked up is being lackadaisical about my fresh fruit and vegetables.  I buy them and I 'usually' eat them.  However, each week I find myself throwing more away.  When I'm on track I eat each and every bite of my fresh foods, often running out before I get to the grocery store for a restock.   Today I actually took my time and prepped some of my fresh foods that were sitting in the refridgerator.  It felt good.  I felt like I was taking control of my life, my addictions.   Just that one simple step made me feel as if I was on the right track.  It felt right.  It felt good.

One step and lots more to come.  However, now that I remember how good it feels to be in control I want to feel it again!!!!

bleh bleh bleh

Enough is enough!   That is all!  I'm tired of sitting on the fence. Life has walloped me each time I start to get it pulled together to start losing weight again...and this time I'm NOT LETTING IT HAPPEN!!!!!

Running WILL happen.   Weight loss WILL happen.  Zumba WILL happen.  

'Nuff said!

Some days

Tuesday night I went to Zumba and I was on fire.  My body felt good.  I had energy.  I pushed myself and jumped more and higher and harder.  It was an awesome hour!

Last night, Wednesday I did another hour of Zumba and it was night and day different from the previous night.  I was tired before I began.  I just wanted to pay down.   The difference was apparent almost instantaneously as I began to sweat profusely.  My clothes felt heavy on my body.  My legs felt like dead weight.   Part of me wanted to quit.  I wasn't sure if I could even make it.  My movements became more slow and sluggish.  But I told myself that this was all in my head and I ramped up my movements.

I powered through the workout.  It wasn't a killer workout but I did my best.  I jumped and moved as much as my body would accommodate.  I wasn't stopping because of a little discomfort (some of which I know was from a mental block!). 

I'm sore today.  My legs feel as if they have been through a war.   Am I happy that I pushed through?  Absolutely!

Some days exercise will be more of a struggle and and I wont do a good, go as far or push myself as much.  Some days the victory is just in finishing!   Some days  our strength and determination is challenged.  I accept the challenge!  

Strictly prohibited

I was talking to some friends last night and I have made the vow that I will be definitely running the Turkey Trot in Hagerstown on Thanksgiving Morning.  I’m not sure if I will be running it for time or just to do it.  I’m hoping that it is a PR run. That’s almost two months away, surely I can speed myself up in that time frame.  I was speeding up consistently getting faster when I was running regularly. However, those excuses (valid, yet still excuses)  that I talked about in the last post derailed me from running regularly and my speed/pace has suffered. (and it wasn’t all that fast to begin with…but it was MY time).  So anyway……  Turkey Trot….thanksgiving morning.  Who’s in????  J

We have also talked about running something in October.  I think we settled on the Spooky two miler. It takes place in Hagerstown right before the parade. Two miles…from the fairgrounds to the parade center/grandstand area.  Costumes encouraged.  Sounds fun right?????  Any takes to join me/us on this one????

So that leaves me with getting my butt out of bed in the morning and actually getting out there and running.   Plans are in my head to DO IT!  (yes, I feel like a Nike commercial…which I never ‘got’ until I really started to just take the “just do it” attitude.)

Then this morning I made a sad discovery/revelation.  You see, I live in Sharpsburg, MD.  To be specific I live in a swatch of land that is nestled between the Antietam Battlefield and the C&O Canal. Yes, our land is sandwiched between two national parks.   It’s actually a really great thing.  I have lots of options for running and riding and walking that are off the busy roads.  I prefer to do the bulk of my running in these areas because, quite frankly; people are nuts on the public roads.     It is a great perk.     But back to the revelation.  Government Shutdown.  Yes, I know government workers that are affected and I feel bad for them since they have to suffer with their glorious time off of work,   (yeah, yeah yeah…I know it could hurt their wallets in a really bad way…so it’s not so glorious!! My friends that are affected are in my thoughts and prayers as they work to make the adjustments necessary to survive!) )but it really didn’t affect me.  Except that I’m a big big user of these national parks…….uhhhhhh this stuff is getting real now!  You’ve closed the gates to my beloved canal????  WAAAAAAAAAAA

The notices on the canal signs and it’s partners (non government) website  say that use is strictly prohibited.  Uhhhh  first of all, if I cut through the woods on my property and access it that way will I be ‘strictly prohibited’???   How will they enforce this?  Will it be a federal offence if I’m caught?  Hmmmm  

The battlefield is another question mark. They don’t have the roads to the north end of the battlefield blocked…they can’t, there are still people living on the battlefield. (my co-worker is one).  So there are no clear signage (that I have seen, maybe I should drive by this evening to look).   

I guess this chickie pie may be running on the ‘boring’ roads for a while.   Ok, they aren’t too boring…I mean, I saw the most picture opportunity one day on the road.  I made friends with a cow that was loose another day.  So lots of fun to still be had.

No longer insurmountable

A while back I was having a conversation with a friend.  I was remarking about how the last few months have been a constant barrage of things that have derailed me from my weight loss efforts.  It was being diagnosed with plantars fasciitis (and the pain that accompanies that), the flu, a sore arm (who knows what that is), some personal issues.  One thing after another hit me.  I would just get myself back in line and it seemed as if another thing would hit me square in the forehead and derail me again.

Excuses?   Yes.  Are they valid?  Absolutely.   They were all valid things that cropped up in my life.  However for the last week or so since that conversation I've pondered this.   I've thought about the fact that I've struggled with my weight.  I've not really lost anything and I've been struggling with getting myself regulated with my exercise routine.  I haven't known what to say or what to think about it.

That is until tonight.  I was talking to a different friend and she mentioned that she wanted to lose weight so that she could like herself when she looked in the mirror.   I started to respond.  "The trick is you have to learn to love yourself  before you start.   Love yourself because you will need to know that you are worth everything.  If you know that you are worth it, nothing will stop you.  You will know that you are worth every minute of hard work and every dollar of  money that you spend at the gym or on healthy pursuits.  As I started to talk to her it hit me that THAT was the answer.

In the last three months I stopped liking mself.   Or rather, I liked myself but I was struggling with self worth issues. The excuses in my life were stoppable to me only because I allowed them to rule me.  I'm worth a whole lot more.  I'm worth the extra time and energy to overcome each and every roadblock!!! 

So yes, they are valid excuses.   But they are STILL excuses and should have no affect on me.  THere is always a way around it!!!!!!