Sentao

You know it's a bad thing when your exercise instructor steps in front of the class and her first words are "If you were here last night, are you sore too?"  Yes, my instructor actually started the class last night with those words.  And YES, I was sore from my workout on Monday.  Last night just exacerbated the soreness.  Hey, no pain no gain.  :-)    So what workout did I do that caused me this 'difficulty'?    Zumba has a new class out there.  It's called Sentao.  It's chair exercises.  I know what you are thinking!  Oh yes, I was lulled into a false sense of security when I started too.  It's exercises with a chair, how difficult can it be.  Well all I have to say is try it!  Lunges off of the chair.  Squats while you have one leg balanced on the chair.  Push ups, crunches, etc etc.  It's a WORKOUT.  A gal was there the other week trying it out and her words after it was over was "I have done body pumps and all sorts of exercise classes at various gyms and NEVER have I had a workout like that!"  I alternately hate it and love it.  I can't figure out which it is.   But I know this......if I'm sore and have achy muscles, that means it's good for me so I'll keep doing it!

So happy to see my friends last night at zumba.  One was a friend that I hadn't seen in a month or two.  She looked at me and commented on my happiness.  It made me look deeply at myself and realize that I am at peace with myself.  I was looking at scrapbooks from years and years ago and cried a bit when I saw the college era.  I miss that girl.  But I'm learning that that girl is still inside me and I"m at peace with her slow  reemergence.  I'm at peace with what is happening in my life.  I don't like all of it...but I'm at peace with it.  The beauty of it?  That peace is allowing the old long lost MaryFran to shine again. 

Day two went by without too much fanfare.  I ate right.  I exercised.  I did what I needed to do.  I peeked at the scales this morning (unfortunately after I had downed a big glass of liquids and had already eaten my breakfast) and I'm down...so I'm feeling good.   Day three is planned and I am ready to rock this day also!

Moving on

Day one is in the books.  Tracked, exercised, drank my water and I feel good.  I didn't weigh myself this morning, but I'm not overly concerned about my weight today.  It's the weekly weight that concerns me!  :-)  Moving on to day two.  My food for the day is already in my tracker.  My exercise is already planned.  I should be good to go!

I'm starting to think about goals and rewards for myself as I drop the weight.  So far I've come up with a massage and a pedicure.  The thing is.....I don't have a lot of extra money...so my rewards have to be rather low budget.  :-)   Thinking...thinking...thinking.  I was originally thinking about rewarding myself every 10 pounds.  But maybe I'll do every 25 for a monetary reward.  :-)  Yes....I think that sounds great!  Decisions decisions.  :-)  I will get them up and posted on a page here today at some point. 

This is no longer a thing of I want. It's a thing of I NEED!

Victory!

So thanksgiving weekend 2012 is officially in the books.   I don't feel as if I ate all that horribly.  However, I did indulge in the pumpkin roll.....and I ate the leftovers for breakfast on Friday, Saturday AND Sunday.   Luckily for me the pumpkin roll is no longer there, so it is no longer tempting me by calling my name in that sticky sweet voice that gets to me every time! My weight is up.  I accept it...but I'm not ok with it.  I need to get myself in line.   No ifs ands or buts.  Other than the pumpkin roll, I ate relatively reasonably.  But relatively reasonably is NOT good enough.  I need to be doing GOOD...I need to be on target.  Relatively reasonably is OK if I'm trying to maintain.

So I started tracking today and I'm here.

Thanksgiving 2012 had me doing something that I have had on my bucket list.  I participated in a 5K on Thanksgiving morning.  I didn't set any records.  I had not trained ANY....so I walked and had spurts of jogging.  But I did it.  I did not come in last for my age division which was my goal.  SO I am pleased.

1203 67/92 Terri Houser F 52 46:35 44:52 14:29
1204 156/176 Paula Crammer F 36 46:34 44:53 14:29
1205 157/176 Maryfran Stotler F 39 46:35 44:53 14:29

The first number is where I came in, the second set of numbers I didn't come in last in my division...which was my goal.  Obviously my name, sex and age...then the 46.34 was my gun time....and the 44:53 was my chip time.  The 14:29 was my pace.   Pitiful.  But now i have something to work against.  Paula and I are aiming to do the st. patricks day run.  And we are aiming to train and really whittle down our time!

I want to reinvent my life on a few different levels...and on the health level, I want to be FIT and active!

Sparkle

Motivation seems to be a missing element in this journey.  Right now for me it's totally missing.  I get totally disgusted with myself.  I cringe at where I'm at.  I see something that inspires me.  I gather up my desires.  It is all good. I'm gung ho to roll with this.  I start.  I hold it together for a few days, maybe even a week or two.  And then I totally fall apart.  I spiral into a woman that spins wildly out of control.  There isn't one set trigger that causes me to plumment from my healthy choices.  Sometimes it's a weekend off/away.  Sometimes it's just life that keeps me eating crazily.  Sometimes it's my self worth and the fact that food is my friend...my go to when I'm feeling down.  It's like I'm being bombarded on all sides.  Voices are screaming at me to "eat eat eat"  and I cave.  The cake tasted good.  The ice cream tasted good.  Even if something didn't taste good I still chowed it down like a starving child.  It sickens me to think about what I'm doing to myself.  It sickens me to see my lack of motivation.  I lack the motivation to get up off the couch and start running.  I lack the motivation to pull my bike out and ride it.  I lack motivation.  Without this motivation I spin in circles.

I want to end this mad plummet.  I want to be thin and happy.  Just this week I've stumbled across a few blogs and posts and whatnot of people that have reached goal or are at least at a place where they are happy with their weight.  They are trained to run marathons.  They are competing in Triathlons.  They are absolutely awe inspiring because they went from overweight couch potato and have transformed themselves into women that are gorgeous.   Their bodies have responded so well to their activities...they are svelte and thin (yeah, I know they still have their body issues and some parts of their bodies may never be perfect...but seriously!).  They are active and put their exercise first.  And most importantly, when you see pictures of them......you can see the inner peace and happiness emmanating from their eyes.  It's glaringly obvious.  I chose those two to link.  However, there are more out there.  I see a spark of life that is there.  I had that spark when I lost my weight.  I've lost that spark again as I've regained.  I'm not happy......I WANT that sparkle back!!!!!!

My motivator this week is that sparkle!!!!!!!