A rebirth of my spirit

I'm having a huge debate in my head right now.  A few years ago I rode in a couple bike events with my good friend Donna.  I kinda gained weight (kinda.....hardy har har....I DID) and stopped riding as much. My discipline just flew out the window.  This winter Todd and I were in Lancaster County and talked about how much fun we had riding in the Pedal To Preserve.  So I came home and did what any normal sane person would do. I went home, searched it out and registered for the ride (actually I registered BOTH of us).  I had grand plans.  I was going to start riding as soon as the weather was nice and I was all set.  We had GORGEOUS weather this late winter early spring.  And I rode exactly 3 times...maybe 4.  So now, I find myself 2.5 weeks from "Pedal" and low and behold I'm not ready.  Todd is determined that he could push through with no training.  Me....I'm not so sure, call me a wimp if you must.  Sooooooo I am embarking upon a 2.5 week effort to be ready to ride. I only have to make it 20 miles. (I thought it was 25, but upon researching it a few minutes ago, I discovered it is a 20 mile ride).

Zumba last night wasn't nearly as brutal.   I drank a ton and kept drinking throughout the whole hour but by the final two songs I was DREAMING about how good my nice cold pitcher of Crystal Light was going to taste when I got home!  (and it did taste spectacular).  Speaking of Crystal Light.  Has anyone tried the flavor Pomtini?????   I just did my research.  I bought Crystal Light's flavor Pomtini a while back. It is my all time favorite flavor.  I've looked for it every time I go into the store and see appletini, margarita and mojito and other flavors but never the Pomtini.  Why?  So I looked it up online.  I was saddened by what I found.   Pomtini was only for a limited time....March through April.  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  Feel free to go onto their website and send them a contact suggestion begging for Pomtini to be brought back.  I would be eternally grateful as I am down to one little packet left. (ok maybe not eternally....but wildly appreciative)

Ok, that last paragraph went on a big time tangent.

What's up with the Crystal Light fanaticism?  Well about two months ago I gave up diet soda. (well I've had one here and there...I think maybe twice in that two months).  I drink my water all day.  And then in the evening I 'treat myself' to Crystal light.  It actually works out really good.  For some reason drinking water at night just doesn't happen for me.  But the Crystal light is just perfect.

My weight isn't dropping...but I'm not gaining.  I'm just holding steady.  I'll take that.  My body is just not giving it up.  But I know that when it regulates itself off of whatever wildness that it is experiencing that the weight will drop.  I'm doing the right things. I'm being more active and I'm eating healthy. The results WILL catch up to my efforts.

Even more importantly I think I'm having a rebirth of my spirit.  For the longest time I've basically just existed. I've done the bare minimum around the house.  It's been a struggle to get that done too.  But the last few weeks I've been WANTING to spread my wings and take the time to make the homemade breads and the homemade snacks.  I've been wanting to do that stuff.  It's almost like I'm being reborn.   I don't know what has brought this about.  I'm afraid to blink...afraid that it will go away if I do.  I still have all the stress and depression in my life....but I'm really trying to not let it affect ME.  And maybe that's the whole difference.