I've been sitting around here, just whining in my head about how I am 'fat' and how miserable I am and how much I wish I would never have regained this weight and how much I hate myself for where I'm at. Yes, how much I hate myself. Seriously. I hate myself more NOW than I did when I weighed my highest ever weight. So I sit in my self induced pity party. I sit there and don't do anything. I've been saying over and over and over again that I am going to FINALLY change the innertube on my bike. I got a flat on my bike last memorial day. Yes, Memorial day of 2011. I will say that most of last summer was horrible with my back that was not in any shape to do ANYTHING. But while that was a valid reason last summer......it quickly became an excuse. We've had a MILD winter. Every nice day I would look at my bike and say "well if I just had my tire fixed I'd go out..but oh well it's not!" EXCUSE.
Today I got home from work. It was somewhere near 60 degrees outside today. But my bike of course had a flat tire. I sat here on my computer. I didn't want to mess with it. But then I started thinking. I'm failing....and the real shame of it is that I'm sitting back and not even fighting! That is the failure.
Sooooo...I pulled out the spare tube, the bike, the pump, the tools. And I changed my tube. I degreased my chains and I relubed it.
That wasn't enough.......I took the bike out and rode too!
No excuses!
Totally agree "TRUE FAILURE is not even trying!" Love that title. Sometimes I tell myself, "just ten minutes lucy, just ten minutes on the elliptical"...every time i've said that AND i mean every time - that twn minutes turns to 20 - every time.
ReplyDeleteThumbs up girl - You ARE NOT a failure!
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ReplyDeletebravo! 1st stop beating yourself up, channel that anger into physical activity, even if it's running in place! if you need a boost or a boot to the ass we're here for you. and i look adorable shakin my pompoms so i got cheerleading covered too! you are NOT alone EVER! you KNOW how todo this so make like nuke and just do it!
ReplyDeleteI agree, MF. You don't really fail as long as you are still trying. Someone said that once on my facebook. "People don't fail, they just stop trying." I even wrote it in my journal where I track my weight as a reminder. Keep up the good work. I think you're awesome just the way you are because you bring so much to the table. I see you as so much more than what you weigh, but I understand getting hung up on all that. I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you.
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