Ironic

Ironically enough, usually when I don't blog it means that I've not been on track.  This is not the case. Last week i was dead on...and lost 3.5 pounds.  This week I'm holding steady. I did go over my points one day, but I think I should still be ok.  :-)  We'll see.  :-)    Todd and I have gotten out for some walks and I did zumba last night and plan to again tonight.  So I'm workin' it.

Why haven't I been on........I feel like my life is crashing down around me.  Last friday I had a slight accident (ran off the road), yesterday Todd was weedwacking and a stone flew up and broke a back side window in his car....and on and on.  Life is just crashing around me.  These things just exacerbate the other daily struggles that I've been facing.

Last night I literally just wanted to sit and cry.  I soooooo thought about skipping zumba, but I went, held back my tears and exercised. I went home.  I still felt like crying.  I put together a breakfast casserold for today and ate my dinner.  I wanted to just shovel food into my mouth with no thought.  Food is my friend and I really needed a friend.  But I also realized that it would make me feel good for exactly 2 minutes (or however long it took me to eat it) but then life would come again, crashing around me.  I realized that not only would the same problems still be there...but I'd also have the self chastisment from binging on food I DIDN"T need.  So I stayed with my meal plan and because I did actually have the points, I splurged on a handful of chocolate chips.  Boy did I want more...but I didn't eat anything. I parked my butt on the couch and didn't budge!