Saturday has dawned bright and early for me. I was so looking forward to waking up nice and late. Sleeping in and greeting the morning after the sun was high in the sky was on the agenda. However, 6AM and where was I? Laying in bed, in the dark wide awake. I gave up and picked up my cell phone and checked email and just in general laid there wishing that I could sleep!. By 6:30 the old lady jody was hacking up her breakfast beside the bed on the floor. (Poor kitty cat.....I feel bad for her, but she doesn't seem to be in pain....so we what do you do?) Todd jumped up and cleaned it up but that was all she wrote. He went right to the shower (his alarm would have gone off at 7AM anyway) so I just gave up and started some laundry. So here I sit. Not really hungry. Part of me says that I NEED to have breakfast because if I don't I'll just start snacking at the farmers market (that is not good because I'll be with my mom....mom sells baked goods....yummy cupcakes, delicious cookies, scrumptious breads...shall I continue?) But then the other side says why eat if you are not really hungry. I'll decide closer to the time when I leave. Mom is already at the market, but I really just don't feel like sitting there for a long time today (sorry mom) so I'll go in about 9 or 10. :-) Of course mom and I will go to lunch.
Cholesterol......gotta keep that thought in my head today while I make my food choices. Cholesterol is high...gotta get it down so I can avoid meds! If I need to chant it "cholesterol, cholesterol, cholesterol" I will. Ok, i'll do it in my head, the waiter at a restaurant today may think i'm nuts otherwise.
I can do this.....I haven't done good yesterday......or the day before. Thursday night I kinda lost control when it came time to grab a snack, I grabbed a 100 cal pack to just have a little something special. I ate that...and then ate two more of them. That is NOT normal. I can usually stop at 1. I'd be too embarrassed to say that I ate three of those suckers. But 3 I did eat. "Cholesterol, cholesterol, cholesterol"
Chest pains.....please go away!
Ok, my thankful/good thing in life today: Friends. I don't have many friends. Ok, back track that. I don't have many friends locally. (that adds to the depression because I feel like my life is a bit empty). HOWEVER I had someone reach out via email. Someone I didn't know....just really touched my heart (thanks Diane) and Donna...you to, your comment just brought tears to my eyes. Everyone else that commented or have emailed. Thank you. I am very thankful for the people that ARE in my life.
I think you're a wonderful person. What you're doing is hard. And it's not fun. It's not easy, and it's not something that people are great at doing. But look at how far you've come in the past. You can continue to do it. Try to stay positive and take one day at a time.
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