I'm feeling somewhat better today....still really blue and somewhat depressed, but somewhat better. I know, intrinsically at least that I am not a 'bad' person, that I am worth every ounce of effort that I put into myself. I need to learn to not allow external situations and factors cause me to stumble. Easier said than done...but I'll keep working on it.....and remember what I KNOW to be true (inside at least). SOooo thankful for my friends though....yesterday I had two really good friends reach out and remind me of who I am and what I'm worth. (thanks!)

After work last night, I headed to Zumba. I pushed myself as much as possible. I was a little flat footed the last part of the hour...I just felt like I didn't have the energy/drive. I pushed through it though and did it.

Last night, set the alarm for 6AM so that I could go to the gym. At 5:50 a driving, torrential downpour woke me up. Ok, I'm not walking outside in that if I could help it. So I turned off the alarm. I woke up again at 6:45...it was no longer raining...so I roused Todd and we headed off to the gym. I started on the treadmill. I have decided to step back into jogging. It's been since April (I think the last time was April...maybe May) since I jogged. I had started out way back when with 2 minutes jogging and roughly 3 minutes recovery (walking). I had built it up and could actually do pretty good. Still taking small recovery walks (1 minutes for every 9 jogged is where I think I was before I got sidetracked). I thought I would be back to square one. I mean, I haven't done much exercise (other than Zumba for months). So I hopped on....warmed up a few minutes with walking and then took off (ok ok ok, I didn't take off....I did step it up to a jog....I'm now where near FAST...it's a SLOW jog). I decided to just go. I made it 1 minute...then 2...then 3. I stopped at 8 and walked for 2. I was pretty tickled with myself. The rest of the time was 5 minutes jogged, 2 minutes walked...back and forth. After my time on the treadmill, I moved to a bike and pushed myself. I had a heart rate I wanted to stay at...(I set the bike up to adjust automatically to keep me there) and I pushed myself to maintain 100RPM's the whole time. So I pushed it there too.

Eating....doing ok. No real slip ups. Nothing really bad. All is good.Weight is actually holding somewhat steady this week thus far.