Why?

Why do I write in my journal? What is the draw, the pull that has kept me coming back consistently for over 4 years. And yes, it has been relatively consistent. I dont' think there has been a month that I didn't come at all...and never only once.

I write for me. I'm not writing thinkng about PR or book deals or reviews or anything other than ME. ME, MYSELF AND I! I write what is in my head. I write about what is going on in my life. I write about my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes those thoughts and feelings aren't pretty. Sometimes they are super happy. But when I go back and read them as a whole...maybe a month or two of entries at a time, I have learned so much about me. It's hard to be objective about yourself. It's a tad bit easier when you are reading your downfalls and successes in black and white.

Yes, I hope that anyone reading this blog finds some inspiration or motivation to continue on their journey......but that is secondary...because the blog is written for my own personal, my own personal chronical of how and what it has taken for me to get to where I'm at, emotionally AND weightwise.

That said...lets move on to my update. Last night I got home from work and I did ok with my eating....I struggled. I was alone and just really wanted to dive head-first into the cabinets. HOWEVER, I ate dinner....and then I pulled out the dance pad for Dance Dance Revolution and played for about 40 minutes. Not high intensity exercise...but activity none-the-less. :-) Little Winny really wanted to exercise with me though.


My weight this morning....holding steady! :-)

The good, the bad and the ugly

So what do we talk about first? Good??? Bad??? Ugly??? Well, I'm just not sure, especially since some of the good was actually bad and could have turned ugly. Hmmm....ok ok ok, I'll just start at the beginning of yesterday.

As I wrote yesterday I hopped on the exercise bike and nailed 1/2 hour of riding before coming to work. I came to work and completed my four hours of fun. After work I went home, put on my comfy clothes (ie. not work clothes) and todd and I headed out. We had to adjust our plans as we were originally going to go southward, but Todd had taken Little Winny (little winny is the small one in the picture) and Jody to the vet in the morning. Little Winny received her shots and was sent home. Jody had to stay for some test....so we had to be in Hagerstown at 4 to pick her up. No problem, we headed northward.

We debated long and hard about where to eat. Todd mentioned Golden Corral, but that just seemed lackluster to me...and more difficult to control. We ended up at Pizza Hut, which Todd was craving. The good? The pizza was just fantastic. It was so tasty. The cheese was gooey and melted. The flavors just burst in my mouth. I was in food heaven...a food induced orgasmic bliss. The bad????? Well, we ordered the dinner for two. That is 2 drinks (diet pepsi for me), breadsticks (yup, they were light, airy, and just plain tasty too), a salad (at least I got a serving of veggies in) and a medium pizza (we did go thin crust to cut down on points and since I don't like much meat, I stuck with cheese.....meat adds points anyway). So there is the good and the bad. The ugly? The possibility of badness on the scales.

After we ate lunch, we ran into Staples and Best Buy looking for a new printer. Basically looking at the options and all that good stuff. We swung out to a farmers market and picked up some fresh produce and also went into the mall for a bit. Just general errands.

Something VERY good.....Todd stopped into Starbucks to pick up a drink. He of course asked if I wanted to order something. I was very tempted.....it was hot and muggy...a nice iced drink would have tasted SOOOo good. But common sense took over. Yes, it would have tasted so good. Yes it was hot and it would have been a nice cool down. But I had my nice big jug of ice water in the car with me. SOOOO, I passed on the iced drink and stuck with my water. HUGE HUGE HUGE victory!

We picked up Jody and went home. I got as much of dinner ready as possible and then I headed out to Zumba. Yes...I made it to zumba! Good workout!

Went home and ate corn on the cob and baked zucchini with some cantalope and then relaxed the rest of the afternoon.

So this morning....was it ugly? I almost didn't step onto the scales. I almost backed out to wait for tomorrow morning. But then I said, "NO, I want to know the damage and then I'll move on". So I stepped on the scale. The scale did it's work and then beeped to tell me that my weight was posted. I about fell off those darn scales.....DOWN! YIPPEE!!! So my eating pretty much only fruits and veggies the rest of the day to accomodate the pizza worked. (ok, I don't like much meat anyway, so it's not that out of the ordinary). My double workout helped. It's working, becuase I'm working the plan!

So what is my plan for today? Hold it together with the eating. I know that I can't eat like yesterday each and every day. SO pulling it together. Get my exercise in (somehow.....I will get off of work at 6 and I have tomatoes to can tonight...but I WILL get the exercise in!). Just work the plan!