I amaze myself sometimes

I am finally starting to realize exactly how little I've expected from my body AND exactly how much my body has to give. I've preached my mantra over and over. The exercise one that is. "Fat hurts a whole lot more than the temporary pain of exercise". I am at the gym and I repeat that to myself over and over and over again. When I want to quit, I make that comment in my head. When I don't want to start, I say it. When the time that I set aside in my head is up, I say that in my head and push longer! A week and a half ago, I got on the treadmill and decided to start jogging/running some. I jogged 2 minutes out of every 5 and I felt like my lungs were going to collapse when I sucked air in. A time or two later, I switched it to 3 minutes out of every 5. Not to bad....I was counting down the timer to finish up those three minute segments.....but when I reached the end of my pre-determined time on the tread...I decided to go for another 20 minutes. Running and walking off and on. Yesterday I felt ready to bump it up to 4 minutes jogging, 1 minute off. But instead I decided to try to jog for 5 complete minutes at a time. Hey, lets go big. I did it! NO PROBLEM! I did it AND talked to my mom the whole time....she was on the treadmill the whole time. I wasn't breathing smoothly...and my talking was a bit more of a pant...but hey.....I did it! I noticed that after only 2 minutes my heart rate and breathing had stabalized and I actually felt well enough to jog again. Amazing!

Sooooo last night on The Biggest Loser (yes, I watch....I don'tagree with how FAST they lose it...but they are doing the work to lose it....and that is inspirational) So anyway, last night micheal was on the treadmill and he finished that first mile. He was soooooo tickled with himself. You could see the pride and joy on his face. I was cheering for him as he was telling Bob....all full of pride. I have to admit...his face when Bob said "make it two" was priceless. He was literally floored and that sense of happiness was replaced by shock.....I smiled. But he got back on that treadmill....and started jogging. The next time we saw Micheal, he had that look of pure joy again when he announced to Bob that he had not only down 2 miles....he was at 2.5 miles. Once again, that joy was turned to incredulous disbelief as Bob said, "make it a 5K (3.1 miles). Micheal got back on that treadmill and did it. Is that the end of the story? Heck no.......When that 5k was completed Bob turned around and wiped that pure joy off his face one more time by demanding.....Make it 5 miles. And Micheal DID IT! He ran 5 miles at Just shy of 400 pounds (at least I think that's where he's at right now). You could literally see the pride and sense of accomplishment oozing from him! At the weigh in (or somewhere toward the end of the episode) Micheal said that he had run 5 miles EVERY day since that occurance.

So it got me to thinking. How much can we do that we have no clue we can accomplish? No, I don't think I could run 5 miles at this point. But You know what.......2 weeks ago I could barely run 2 minutes without fear of collapse, and look at me...I can run 5 minutes straight.....and I aim to push that longer on my next visit to the gym. What else am I afraid to do because I have let self doubt rule? I don't have a BOB in my life to push me on. (my mom was with me and she is a great motivational partner...but she freaks out when she sees my face get red and she sees me breathing deeply.....she doesn't want to see me in pain and pushing myself does bring pain...TEMPORARY pain....however in the long run it removes pain...it removes the pain of being fat). So without Bob in my life to push me to places I didn't kow I was capable, I've got to push myself and rely on my frinds to throw out challenges to me when they see fit. To help push me from my comfort zone!