Failure. I feel like a failure because I've regained some of my weight. I've skirted the issue before, but I'm coming out bold with it right now. I totally feel like a 100% failure. In recognizing and verbalizing this fact, I can then admit that I'm soooo afraid of failing again! Weight loss is sooooo non-personal. EVERYONE can see how you are doing. Everyone can see you shovelling food into your mouth and everyone can see the results of a bigger body. There is no way that you can hide it. So to fail with your weight loss goals is to do so very publicly. And that scares me. I've already failed once........I'm afraid to fail again.
That said, I'm still going forward. I'm going to take the risk.
To never try, is to fail.
8 comments:
I completely feel for you. I'm experiencing the same feelings right now.
DO NOT GIVE UP!
Press forward. Take it day by day.
You are a failure.
And we're always here to cheer you on! You are worth it :)
Being overweight is very public. Even when we eat in private, it shows in public. I hadn't thought of it that way. I stay motivated by reading the blogs of people who have lost 50 or more and then turn into evangelists for healthy living. There's an energy to their (written) voice and a real sense of vitality. I want that too. They all went through self-doubt and then snapped out of it.
Failure, for me, has been hiding around my every turn in my weight loss journey. Sabotage is another gremlin that keeps tripping me up. Between the two of them, I know everyone can tell how I haven't lost the weight I should have. Why is something so personal as changes in my body anything but personal? I admire you bravery, though. Admitting your failure is quite a victory for you.
I stole this from B*tchcakes blog, Jillian said this to Amy on the Biggest Loser last night. I missed it last night, but in reading through the blogs I found this and it sounded good.
"You have to redefine your view of failure. It's not failure, it's a learning process. You gotta fall down a few times you gotta make a few mistakes in order to learn. It's how you grow. Think about it."
Good luck I know you can do it, look at how far you have come.
Hang in there, I go through those days feeling that way too. Just look back at your old self and realize how far you've come. Maybe you aren't were you want to be but you aren't giving up either. Just realize you can do it.
This is something that scares me too. It's not like I haven't been down this road before, you know? You're right. It is a very public process (gaining and losing). Can't imagine what it's been like for Oprah. Despite her wealth & power, it still gets to her too.
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