The easy part of this journey raises it's ugly head

It's easy. SOOOOO easy to be strong and make vows to yourself, such as; "I will never be over 200 pounds again." It's easy to stand back and say, "Well, I journal and when my allotment of calories/points for the day is gone....I'm done. Period, end of story." It's great to be able to stand back and say, "I have no cravings" Or, "this journey has been the most fabulous and amazing journey." Or even, "I haven't struggled at all." I know...I've made these comments to myself over and over throughout this journey. They are usually made in the thick of a wonderful strong period of the journey, when all is going well. Eating seems a breeze, exercise...while maybe not loved, is happening daily...and the pounds are just melting off my frame. I'm forever grateful to those periods. Those periods of 'healthy living zen' are what have gotten me this far. Sometimes the 'zen' lasts months. Sometimes it lasts only a day. I strive to reach that pinnacle of healthy living each and every day.

I've come further than than I ever even dreamed possible. At one point in this journey I thought that I would be happy and call it quits at 220 pounds. I surpassed that mark and broke the two-hundred pound barrier. I made it into the one hundreds and I was tickled. As the numbers on the scale creeped lower and lower, and consequentially further away from the dreaded two-ohh ohh I made a vow. I boldly and openly vowed and declared that, "I will NEVER again see a two as the first number of my weight. I will never again be 200 pounds or above." The weight loss started to slow down....I made it into the upper 170's (for a few days) but stalled at right around 180 pounds. I stayed there...stuck between 180 and 185. But after months of that, the weight started to rise. 188, 189, ohhhh no, back into the 190's . 192 and 195 came and went. It progressed. Inside I was panicked. I was getting closer to that big bad number. Ohhh I celebrated when I saw it the first time....but to see it again would NOT be a celebration. About a week ago it happened. 201.8 glared up at me from the display on those scales.

I was not happy! I wanted to cry! How in the world could this happen. I had vowed to never see that number again, yet there it was! I promised myself and I broke that promise!

And that is the point of my whole post today. It's sooo easy to stand up and make vows and declarations about how well I'm doing. How easy it is. And how I will NEVER return to what I was. But I needed to learn a lesson. The lesson? As easy as it is to make all those remarks. It's ohhh so ever much easier to lose control and spiral out of control. In the blink of an eye, you are at a Y in the path. If you are not paying attention, you chose the wrong path and once on that wrong path.....it's hard to find your way back to the correct path! Luckily, I have realized that I chose the wrong path and have gotten helplessly lost after only 20 pounds. But what if I hadn't hit that big bad number which made me sit back and yes, freak out? Would it have been 40 pounds? 60? Would I have put back on the whole 120 pounds instead of just 20?

I'm addicted to food. Just because I'm in a thiner me doesn't take away the issue. I got a little of my drug of choice, food; and I couldn't stop. I think I needed to see how quickly it can, does and will spiral out of control. I hope by writing this post that it will help me remember in months and years to come, but also those of you who read it. Even if you are going strong now...please please please remember and learn from my mistakes!!!!

This morning....exercised 45 minutes and more importantly.....199.8

Goodbye flex points!

Ahhhhh a quiet morning here at work. Oops...afternoon now (12 minutes into the afternoon to be exact!)

I really don't have too much to say. I am coming to a conclusion to a test that I have been conducting. Right around the beginning/middle of November I was talking to a weight watcher buddy. And we were talking about how I had never been really able to eat my flex points. It seems as if anytime I eat them, I gain...or maintain on a few rare occaisions. Well, we were talking and I was lamenting this fact. We concocted a scheme in which I try to eat my flex points each week. And not just judge it on a single week or two. Try it for at least a month. I did. I do not like the results. Yeah, I've indulged here and there......but for the most part, I've been withing my points allowance (if I include those flex points). SOOOOO with a sad heart, I'm going to try to knuckle back down to the daily points and ignore those wonderful flex points. I will miss those 35 flex points!

I was reading a blog this morning (katschi) and I picked up on a line that she wrote. It was 'Make yourself proud of the choices you make today" That got me thinking about how when I am totally in control and make really healthy choices, I feel so proud and on top of the world! All of a sudden I started to think. Ok, so I'm trading that food 'high' for a prideful 'high'. That seems to be a pretty good tradeoff. Now to just continue to implement it!

Ok ok ok ok. Let me talk about weight. As we know, I started my 6 week challenge earlier this week. I was so good. And then I weighed myself (either Christmas Eve or Christmas morning) and yikes, my weight was 200.4! I ate healthy. I exercised but my weight was up. No excuses though. I looked at my journal. Could see really nothing out of whack, so just chalked it up to this bumpy ride and vowed to continue on. Well, of course Christmas day while much better than previous years was not the greatest eating wise.....I ignored the scales yesterday and vowed that today I would own up to the 'badness'. 201.8. YIKES! But that is my figure. It's going DOWN from here!

The morning after pill!

Ohh if only there was a morning after diet pill! :-)

I am doing ok with eating thus far today. I am working a long day, so I was up early and ate some cereal before packing my lunch for work. Yesterday when I was preparing Christmas dinner I purposefully fixed tons extra vegetables than we needed. Why? So I would have leftovers! So into my lunchbox for today....green beans, corn, sauerkraut, fruit salad and a wasa cracker. I'm so on track! Oh wait, I did throw in a treat. I grabbed a jello rice pudding / tapioca (can't remember which) thing....so a little sweetness, but not a lot of calories! I'm doing ok. No, I didn't exercise today. But I plan on starting SOON!

So this morning I logged on and started reading the new blog entries. I got to this one and I was so moved. It is about the christmas binge. Seashore writes that she indulged in the holiday food. BUT, she was honest with herself and actually tracked everything that she ate. NOW, I have to be honest. I track my food. My food journal is on the bar in the kitchen (in it's own little handy dandy tin to keep it from getting lost on those days when the bar gets piled high with junk...yeah those days/weeks). I enter everything. BUt I have to be honest...yesterday I started tracking. I got as far as cereal----3 points and then at the end of the day I simply wrote on the page Christmas with a smiley face beside it. I read this post and stopped dead. I wanted...no I needed to see where I stood....so here it is. (thank goodness for that christmas pass for the challenge!)

Breakfast- cereal - 3 points
Lunch- Mom's stuffing-15 points (estimate...probably low)
corn- 2 points
green beans- 0 points
baked beans- 3 points
jello cake- 5 points (thank heavens a healthy version)
sauerkraut- 0 points
Dinner roll- 4 points
Small amount of promise butter- 0 points
Sweet potatoes- 5 points
Fruit salad- 2 points
Small slice of pumpkin bread- 4 points
Ginger bread cookie- 3 points
Dinner- Turkey salad - 4 points (made as healthy as possible)
Natures Own bread- 1 point
Jello cake - 5 points

We are talking 53 points. Yes, my points are estimates while I sit here at work. But At least I faced up to it! Next thing to face up to...the scales! :-)

Christams day reporting

Day 3 of 42

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ok, I totally used my 'free day' pass today. I went REALLY heavy on veggies thought at our big meal! The bad stuff.....stuffing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom's stuffing/dressing (I asked her to bring it to the meal). I really only get it twice a year. Once at Thanksgiving and once at Christmas. I indulged today. Lets see I had one dinner roll. I had a piece of pumpkin bread and a piece of jello cake. Really the stuffing is the bad stuff. Some of the veggies were more starchy 'bad' ones....corn and sweet potatoes. (because I had the sweet potatoes, I didn't touch the mashed potatoes).

I'm feeling stuffed though.

After we ate, I cleaned everything up. It was easier to put everything into the fridge. But after everyone left and it was just my husband and myself, I did something that was VERY difficult for me. I threw out the leftover dressing/stuffing. Dumped it! Why???? Well, as I stated earlier, I love my mom's stuffing and I would have LOVED to have eaten the leftovers. But would that have been the wisest thing for me to eat? NO! Unequivicably no! So I got rid of it! While I was doing that I also looked at what was left of the jello cake. There was quite a bit left. I cut out one more piece for me and put it on a plate. I asked my husband if he wanted some (he said no..that he wanted the rum cake that was left here....I'm not as tempted by that). SOOOOOOOO I dumped that cake into the garbage also! Got a cake server and served that yummy delicious cake right into the garbage can! Yes, that cake is low fat, light, whatever you want to call it. BUT it is a huge temptation for me. And if I would eat piece after piece of the cake, then it no longer is a wise choice.

So, I got rid of the temptation items. Straight into the garbage can they went! I'm ready to move on and get this weight loss show back on the right track!

The 6 week challenge begins!

1 of 42 (days of the 6 week challenge that is) So far so good. I'll have to be careful when I come home from work tonight as I tend to do poorly when I'm home alone in the evening 'fending for myself' in the kitchen. Yes, for some reason when I'm making a meal for my husband and I, I tend to do ok. But when I'm alone...eii yii yii, I just keep eating and eating! Plus tonight (or maybe tomorrow morning, I'll be doing a bit of baking). I can do this. I am sooo not going to mess up on day one!

Ohh yes, and in other news. I actually exercised this morning. 55 minutes on the exercise bike. Let me tell you...this is I think only the second time I've exercised since thanksgiving! (family visiting, crappy sickness, vacation eiii yii yiii.....only the sickness would have been a valid reason not to exercise). Onward and upward!

challenge

Read in Katschi's blog today that she is challenging herself. This is something that she wrote...

"I'm recommitting myself to strictness for the next 6 weeks while I'm off work. I think it builds character and I'm very curious to see how that kind of dedication pays off in weight loss results. Would you like to do this challenge with me? TOTAL commitment with NO EXCUSES accepted!!! The Boy is able to do this when he's in training mode. I so admire this strength of mind and would like to develop it in myself." It's informal ~ you're accountable only to yourself. If you're interested in pushing past your present limits you've set for yourself, I'd love to have you along for the ride.Ok, since it's the season, I'm giving a pass for Christmas Day and New Year's Eve but THAT'S IT!!! Even on those 2 days though, try and restrain yourself :)"

Sounds like a good plan to me....and since I'm trying to turn my 'trend' around.....perfect!

Fear

Yes, I was quite fearful to get on the scales. On Friday morning I weighed in at 198.6. I ate way too much food on Friday at that work Christmas party. (tis ok...it helped me get some things into perspective). But I was really nervous to step on those scales to see what the damage was. I knew I was going to be up. And I didn't have much wiggle room before I tipped the scales over that 200 mark. Quite nervous! But this morning I did it.....and the grand total was 197.4. WHEW! Moving down!!!

I have been doing much better the last few days. I will not lie and say that I am 100% on plan. I am eating within my points, but I feel as if I'm not getting all my veggies. That is my goal for this week!!! Oh yeah, and another goal for this week......start again with my multi-vitamin. I have fallen off the band wagon with that too!

Full circle

Spent some time thinking last night. Thinking about my food and the path that I've been on. You see, I was hot on the trail of good health and losing weight until last year. I can really almost pinpoint the exact moment that I started having difficulty. It was at my work christmas party. Sooo, a year has gone by. I've struggled all year long. In the last month or two, I've not only struggled, I've gained. I'm not happy with this..but I can't do anything about the past. All I can do is look at the past, reflect, learn and move on.

SOOOO, how can I pin point the 2007 work Christmas party. Well, I had been doing really well. But my co-workers were insistent that I join them in eating that day. I can't lay the blame on them...but they did egg me on to eat. And then eat some more. And then eat more still. One of my co-workers talked to me a few days later and apologized for her action, Even though she didn't egg me on like some of the others, she was sorry that she didn't tell them to shush. In fairness, the one gal that was so excited to see me actually eating was a gal that eats junk food CONSTANTLY and wears a size 2....I think she plain and simple did not understand. That said....I'm still to blame! BUt from that point, I struggled. For about 9 months I maintained...and then I started to gain. I think some of the last few months of gaining has been basically eating in frustration because I was not losing. During the months of maintaining, I was never really off the plan...but I was skirting on the edge. The good thing.....I know how to maintain. But I was frustrated and it was easy to say, "well if I'm not going to lose, I may as well eat what I want." And I started to gain.

Yesterday brought the 2008 work christmas party. Yes, I ate. I'll admit that I ate way too much. And last night (actually while I was still at work yesterday evening) it hit me....full circle. I'm determined that yesterday's party marks the end of the last wishy washy year of weight loss efforts. Where one year's party marked the beginning...I want this years party to mark the end.

So last night I was thinking some more about all of this and I've come to the conclusion. For the time being, I can't even nibble on certain things. If I start...even if it's a tiny piece of cake....I will keep going back for more. (yesterday I had a small piece of rum cake.....small piece. Ok, so that's not so bad...but that put the taste in my mouth...and I kept going back for just one more tiny piece......over and over!....ok, three pieces of cake). Ironically enough, I don't crave cake or sweets. It's only after I have 'indulged' and had a piece...THEN I want another piece! Chocolate...don't want it...but if I eat a piece...I want another piece. So why do I even start???? And that's my point. Why should I? I also know that there are situations where I can have a piece of cake or a treat. But in closely monitored instances where there is only the option for me to have that one piece.

I'm addicted to food...if I start, I can't stop. (well I can.....but it's difficult.). I would like to say that someday I'll be able to conquer this and be able to look a cake in the eye....eat one piece...or one bite and say 'that's enough'. But right now....no. So for that reason, I can't have any!

Didn't weigh myself today. Guess I'm kinda scared to. Not to fear...I will! And just because I didn't weigh in doesn't mean that I'm ready to work my tail end off (literally)!

We are not going to talk about food today. I'm eating. I'm not gorging. But I'm not living in a bubble. This is the ONE christmas party that I will eat at. Christmas is at my house and it's going to be a normal meal....heavy on veggies and only one dessert. A diet coke jello cake with fat free cool whip. Some people call these cakes poke cakes.....but regardless.....a ton healthier than some of the other options. I've decided not to stress about it.



What my topic of conversation today is going to be about is New Years Resolutions. I am part of a group of women that are committed to taking one picture a day for a year and submitting it to a central group. (see the side bar for the link to my individual pictures mf's 365 and also the link to our groups pictures envisage). Via email one of our members brought up the idea to follow a 101 things in 1001 days. Basically before you begin you think of 101 things that you would like to do in the next 1001 days. Make your list and on day one you begin working on that list. At first I thought that this was a grand idea. But then I started thinking about my obligations. I know that I need to immerse myself in the process of losing weight. It really does need to be what I live and breath (oh and eat too...haa haa haa). I am doing this one picture a day for a year. That takes some time also. I write in this blog. I have a recipe blog (at which I've been woefully missing lately). I was just afraid to really get into some other huge project that will take my time. I don't want to stretch myself too thin. AND 1001 days is a long commitment. But I just couldn't stop thinking about the premise of the plan. And that is to give yourself concrete goals for the upcoming set period. It can be used to really help push a person out of their comfort zone into a 'space' that is good. Help one grow and learn new things. I really wanted to do it. But that long committment, I KNEW that I would struggle. But then I started thinking about my New Years Resolutions. I've never really set one. I think about starting new things in the new year and I refer to my new start as a resolution. But this year, I've decided to set some concrete goals for the new year. I think a year is more managable! So I'll begin laying out my ideas here...some will be weight related....some will not. :-)

1. I will get myself back to my doctors approved weight watcher weight. That is roughly 20 pounds (yeah, stop gasping...I've gained 20 pounds since mid august!)
2. Continue to keep the business books up to date and not procrastinate (I've done pretty good this year...but in years past...eii yiii yiii)
3. Exercise at least 4 hours each week. That is 4 hours a week or 16 hours a month or 208 hours a year. Wow...when I think of that it really isn't that bad sounding. :-)
4. Try one new recipe a week. Yes, some weeks may not have one...some will have two or three. But at the end of the year, I'd like to have at least 52 new recipes. I get really good about trying new recipes and cooking ideas...but after a month or two, I stop and go back to the tried and true recipes/meals.

I'll work on laying out individual plans for each one in the upcoming days!

Well, yesterday I ate sooo badly. We stopped at McDonalds and got an Eggnog Milkshake. Now let me say that I haven't purchased anything at McDonalds in over 2 years (probably longer)...so this was huge. But I really do like their Eggnog Milkshakes...I got a small (could have had a gigantor huge one it tasted sooo good...but I did small). I made cookies for work (we have our christmas party tomorrow and we decided to have a cookie tray and punch for our customers....so I volunteered to do some cookies). Well, I ate cookie dough.....a lot of cookie dough. (ohhh yeah, I ate my allotement of calories/points just in my normal meals that I ate...so these extra things are truely extra calories that I took in). Ohh yeah, and then in the evening I made popcorn and had a diet soda. The popcorn and diet soda have so much sodium (that I'm not used to) that it affects my weight...water retention. So I KNEW that this morning was going to be BAD. (as in I'm teetering on the edge of going over 200 pounds...and I thought I would after yesterdays eating.). HOWEVER, in the middle of the night I woke up with stomach pains. Now I won't give you all the icky details but suffice to say that every hour or so I got out of bed an well, elminated some of the bad food that I ate. It happens almost everytime I eat horribly! And everytime, I realize that before I started eating healthy and was eating like that all the time, that the middle of the night stomach aches were commonplace. So this morning, still feeling a bit nauseated, I stepped onto the scale. ANd I was down almost a full pound. Oh my word. I was shocked. Nope, no exercise yesterday either.
Ok, how was that for TMI????

Now here is the question of the hour. Because we don't get these yummy treats all that often anymore, does it make us want to attack a plate of cookies with more vengenance than we would have in the past...before the altered lifestyle. Does it taste so good and do we lose control more easily because it's something that we don't get that often, or did we always fall upon a plate of cookies (fudge, cake...whatever) with a frenzy reminicent of some 'half starved, on therdeathbead

Ok, normally I put on serious things on my blog. Serious and really pushing weight loss...but today I'm putting on something fun. It's totally NOT weight friendly...and in fact it's totally the opposite. However, when I read it, while I was laughing I started to think about how I used to have this mentality (ok, maybe not this strong..but still) and how I really didn't like the person that I was when I was that way....so anyway...read and laugh.

CHRISTMAS EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Well.....thanks to Todd I made it to the gym today. He kept gently asking me this morning "Do you want to go to the gym?" I kept saying, "No, I don't WANT to go, but I have to go." So I sucked it up and went. Whew.

My weight stayed the same this morning. I was hoping I would get a bit further away from the big two ohh ohhh but that was not to be. Oh well...tomorrow! :-)

The weather is foul right now......so the rest of my day will probably be really slow and boring here at work. Ahhh more time for surfing the internet and reading my book!

Well, well well. I thought I did good yesterday but my weight crept up even higher on the scales today as compared to yesterdays weigh in. 199 and some change. NO NO NO....this is not allowed! I have done very well today. I've eaten very healthy and totally on target today. None of this going over 200 for me!

Todd mentioned getting back to the gym...as in going tomorrow morning. I know that I need to get my butt into gear and back to daily workouts. However, I dread doing it! But I know that I need to!

In other news I'm back at work after my week off. On one hand it's nice to be back....the week off was so immensly busy, but of course it's always nice to be at home and off work. The good thing...being back at work will put me back into a routine where I can manage my eating a bit better. Not that being off is any excuse to gain...but for me, days that I work are so much more easy to navigate!

I'm back!

I am totally enjoying my day at home. I was determined to have a day at home, just relaxing. I've done a little laundry (still doing it in small spurts as the dryer guy STILl hasn't fixed it), I putzed around the kitchen and finished wrapping gifts but overall I've been just relaxing...JUST what I needed.

This past week was incredibly busy. Todd and I spent a day in DC, a day in Lancaster County PA, and a day roaming north of us that ended at a friends house for the afternoon and evening of fun. We worked in the local soup kitchen one day. One day we worked to help put on a christmas party for underprivledged kids. And then we also spent a day working and volunteering for some other various organizations. Yesterday was spent on errends that got pushed aside all week.....so it was just a plumb crazy week!!!

My weight was at one point this past week up to 199.8. I totally flipped out. That is so close to that mark that I don't even want to say out loud! I was good and dropped the number to 196 (195.8 according to ww scales). The problem....I then kinda lost a bit of control that day after the weigh in...so this morning (two days later) I was back up to 198 and some loose change. I'm not too worried as last night I had some diet soda..and that usually causes my weight to be up! We'll see. Meanwhile I'm working to bring my eating totally under control!

The plan for the rest of the holiday season is pretty straight forward. I've got to navigate my work christmas party. I feel pretty confident that I can do ok with this. We also have to take my husbands uncle out for dinner sometime right before Christmas. He wants to go to Longhorn Steakhouse. I do pretty well there. And Christmas dinner. I'm having mom and dad here and I'm doing a basic dinner..lots of veggies! No trays laden with desserts! So I think I'm good for the rest of the year!

Now to get back to exercising! Because I do know that is where that's where it's at!

I am still here. It's been one crazy week. I was off from work and literally from the moment I left work last Saturday until this afternoon, I have run my feet off. I've been on the go literally from sunup to sundown (and often beyond). We have done a small amount of travelling, (day trips) and a large amount of volunteer work in our town. My house looked like a cyclone struck it as I literally was home only to sleep, shower and dress. I'm going out for dinner tonight and I've declared tomorrow a relax day. I go back to work on Monday. :-) More on my week later.

I will say that my weight has held somewhat steady over the week...up and then down...but averaged about the same.

Ok, so I lied. I did not go to the weight watchers meeting this morning. I actually got out of bed when the alarm went off. I went to the bathroom and I was actually in the shower. And then I started thinking about how cold it was outside and how miserable I was feeling (the sinus/cold thing is still with me......so it's still icky...even if I do feel super without the strep symptoms). I got to thinking about how today is a long day of work for me...and I realized that I just wasn't going to make it. I finished my shower and went to the living room where I curled up on the sofa and read to my hearts content!

I'm aiming for the Tuesday morning meeting now! Tuesdays are one of my more shorter days....so that's good!

Feeling ohhh so much better today. Most of the intense pain in my throat has eased up. Now I'm just dealing mostly with the sinus issues.....woo hoooo! I can deal with that!!!

Hopefully soon I can get back into the exercise routine. Thus far I've been able to maintain some semblance of proper eating. My weight this mornign was right at 192.6...which is down from thanksgiving morning of 197 (and loose change). So I'm pretty tickled with that. Plus, I've maintained taht 192.6 the last few days while I haven't really been careful about what i eat...other than making sure I was eating something soft that would not hurt going down the throat. (tee hee hee).

Weight Watchers is coming out with a new program next week. Should be interesting. Maybe that's what I need...somethign a little different in which to help me stay focused on my goals. We'll see.

December 3, 2008 (94 of 365)

December 3, 2008 (94 of 365), originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

Still sick. As this was day 7 of this crude, I had to suck it up and call the doctor. Hopefully the meds kick in soon! Then I can get myself back into gear with exercise too!!!!!

Tried to weigh myself again yesterday, to no avail. That stupid scale was not going to give up my weight for me. How frustrating. A new battery was put on the list of things to get when I go to town on Wednesday. This morning, just for giggles though I decided to try again to weigh myself. It worked. 192.6.

I'm actually tickled with that as I am still sick and kinda fell off the bandwagon of healthy eating last night. Not really badly...but i should have had more veggies...oh well.

Exercise...non-existant. Well, we did make it to the gym on Sunday!

Well, I think I may have gotten a step further in my dryer saga. I had called the warranty company a week ago this past sunday. The repair place was going to call me on Monday. No call. I called them and left messages. No return calls. So yesterday i called Lowes. They said that they would contact the repair service and I would get a call by the end of the day. Nothing. meanwhile, I have clothes hanging in the library and in the guest bathroom. Sheets need washed but come on now...where to hang sheets in the house???? SO anyway, I called again this morning. They contacted a second repair place, gave me the information and said their goodbyes. Before I could even hang up the phone, the call waiting was beeping. It was the repair place that lowes had just hung up with! I talked to him extensively and told him waht the dryer did AND what Todd had checked (breakers, he had a tester and the outlet is getting power, he tested the chords on the back, etc). The guy was like....'normally I come out and check that stuff...but I'll go ahead and order the part we'll need. He said normally the part comes within a week...but sometimes can be backordered (that's normal)...so hopefully next week sometime I'll have my dryer repaired!! WOOO HOOOO!

I feel as if I've done really well with my eating yesterday and today. I feel as if I made good choices and ate wisely. My weight....well, my scales were not working. Every time I tried to weigh myself I got an error message....not cool. I even walked away and tried 15 minutes later. Oh well..hopefully tomorrow.

The bad new...I"ve got some kind of sickness going on. The glands in my throat are swollen and sore. Not only sore to swallow...but sore to the point that I will yell if anyone touches my throat.

Report

Well, I weighed in this morning. At the highest in the last week I had seen 197.8. I was SCARED to get on the scales this morning because...hello...Thanksgiving! BUT, my weight was 195.4 this morning. I was satisfied with that! I just need to be really careful today and tomorrow...the last two days I'll be with my brother and his family....which offers more food temptations than I like. BUT this weight is going DOWN!

Summing up Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day.

I feel as if I did really good. I did splurge and have one chocolate chip cookie. But ignored all the other desserts. For the meal, I ate mostly fruit and veggies. I have to say mostly because I made a decision going into the meal. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom's stuffing. So i decided that i would eat the stuffing. BUT I would skip the mashed potatoes...to cut back on the carbs/starch. I knew I really wouldn't miss the mashed potatoes as I make mashed potatoes fairly often at our house...but stuffing...for some reason, I just don't make it (yeah, I have my mom's recipe and I've actually made it for holiday meals that I've hosted...but I just don't make it at other times). So pretty good with my eating at T-day dinner.

For breakfast I had my normal oatmeal....and for dinner todd and I were home so I whipped up a little pizza for us. (fat free cheese which really cuts down on points!) So all in all I feel as if I did better than good.

I did not however make it to the gym like I had wanted to (they were open between 8AM and noon on Thanksgiving day). Cindy and I did take a long walk after the meal...so at least i did 'something'.

Today I'm back at work for a long long day. After work I'm going to head to H-town to get our two week supply of groceries. (hey, I've got a 10% off the whole grocery bill coupon to use before Sunday.....i'd be a fool not to use it). So it will be a really long day by the time I calculate from wake up.....my open to close (7:45am until 6:15 pm) day of work, driving to and from h-town, the actual grocery shopping (and a quick stop at the liquor store for some wine and guiness...todd's request) and then home to put it all away....yeah....long day! I of course packed my lunch for work...but so that i woulnd't be tempted with eating something bad in town...or picking up all kinds of bad things at the grocery store. I also packed a 'dinner' for me to eat on the way to town. So I'm set.

I did not weigh myself today....I was just out of the loop. I'll check my weight tomorrow morning for sure! And we'll see what the damage or good news is!

Family means love

Family means love, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

We exchanged Christmas gifts with my brothers family early this year as we will not be seeing them during the Christmas season. It really sucks to live so far away from those you love.

I feel like I ate too much yesterday. No use crying over spilled milk....just move on today and do my best. I'm not going to stress out over it. It's thanksgiving. I've set out on a course to chage my life...NOT live like one in a cloister. Yes, my weight is up and no I don't want to go up any further (actually internally FREAKING out about possibly going over the 200 mark) but mental happiness is also important. My plan is to eat sensibly today (honestly I really didn't eat too bad...I just felt stuffed from what I ate...and I didn't do all my fruits and veggies that I normally do). Do my best....enjoy my family and the social time that Thanksgiving provides and not worry about it. If I'm so stressed about eating, then I will not enjoy my brothers family nor the time with my parents then while it is worth it......it's not. Does that make sense? There is a balance.

rose-collage, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

My weight is up a bit this morning, but I"m not going to worry about it....I ate perfect yesterday, so there is no reason.

I've been super productive this morning. By 8AM, I had already cleaned the house really well. And by 9:15 I had exercised for an hour and I was already out of the shower. Now, I'm just sitting around being a sluggard until it's time to go to work. I only have to get dressed (finish drying my hair if it's not dry by then) and eat lunch. Ohhh yeah, I have to do the dishes yet...but I'll do that after I eat lunch. :-)

I've been really struggling with my new lifestyle. I won't lie. I wish I could go back and live the existance of not worrying about what I'm eating. Just living life to the fullest (eating wise). Oh yeah, I know that the results of the newer me is soo much more important and actually adds so much more to my life, but I sometimes can't help buy mourn the loss of my old friend...food.

That said......I needed what is coming next....

Oh wow......I just did this test to find out my expected life age. I did it plugging in my current "new" lifestyle. There were definitely things that I can do to help my life expectancy but my life expectancy with my current lifestyle (eating healthy foods for snacks, no red meat, my current exercise levels...all of it) is 95 years old. SOOOOO just for shits and giggles I decided to go back to the start and answer the questions in the manner that I would have answered just a few short years ago.....answers that parallel what I've been crying about and wishing that I could go back to. Are you ready for my life expectancy with THOSE answers????? 74 years old. That is a difference of 21 years!!! TWENTY ONE CRAZY years????

THAT is food for thought!

I helped mom with a catering job on Saturday night...and ate WAY too many of the leftovers! I didn't weigh in yesterday...but kept it somewhat under control yesterday...not was well as I should have though...I KNOW I went over my points. SOOOO imagine my surprise when I stepped onto the scales this morning (I almost didn't) and found my weight down to 193.4 Today and tomorrow shouldn't be tooo difficult for me as I'll be home..normal routine all that. Wednesday we are celebrating Christmas with my brother and family...so I'll be up there all day...and then we are taking Todd's uncle out for dinner...so eating out. And then obviously Thursday...turkey day. Friday will once again be no problem as I work open to close (LONG day) and I usually do really well with eating when I'm at work. Saturday and Sunday I'll be back up there. So I've managed two days up there and I have a total of 4 more days of temptation. And yes, mom's house is totally tempting. She is from the school that you feed people...and that's how you show love. She doesn't mean to...but that's just how our family (my grandmother) was also.

You know, sometimes you wonder why in the world God is doing stuff. WHy he is putting so much on your plate. Yeah yeah yeah,I know that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle...but the stress!

Yesterday I was drying a load of clothes while I ate lunch. I stopped the dryer when I left, simply because we don't like to leave stuff on while we are not at home (my husband has a fit about a crockpot!). The clothes were only half dry. I was walking through the house after I turned it off and noticed that it smelled really hot. Kinda worried me for some reason, but I sniffed and figured it was just the hot dryer smell. It was enough of a worry that I actually went back inside and checked one last time. But it was all good. SOOOOOOO.....fast forward to me once again being home and suddenly remembering that I have half dried clothes in the dryer. I swung into the laundry room and went to start the dryer. ohhhhhhh noooooo......stupid sucker wouldn't turn on. No, I am not joking!! The brand new heatpump and heating system on Wednesday..the dryer now! I checked the breaker and fiddled with that sucker...nothing. Deader than a doornail. It is almost as if it is not getting power. Now let me back and reminisce about my dryers. I bought a washer and dryer in 2000. August to be exact. I had the extended warranty....5 years that time. Used the dryer....and in SEPTEMBER of 2005 the stupid thing broke, ONE MONTH AFTER THE WARRANTY EXPRIED! (it had to be a conspiracy...I think Kenmore/Sears must have had a bomb in it to blow up right after the warranty expired) It was more costly to get it repaired, so we junked it and bought a new one. We went maytag this time....good brand. I did get the extended warranty. In April of 2007 the moter was replaced in the dryer. NOOOOO I'm just washing and drying normal loads of clothes. Heck, there is only two of us! Anyway....back to this current breakdown....I panicked. It is November of 2008. If we bought a 3 year warranty we are totally out of luck (like we ever had it in this case anyway) because it's 2 months past the 3 year mark. I did look and I can breathe a bit of a relief.....it is a 4 year warranty. Todd just ran to the studio to get stuff from the electronics workshop. He wants to double check the power supply to the washer and the connections and stuff that we are responsible for. BUT at least if it's fried, we are covered. At that point, it's just a waiting game to try to get someone here (on thanksgiving week...RIGHT) and work around our work schedules (HA)....and in the meantime, have clothes hanging all around the house drying!

Missed my weigh in this morning.....I was a little pre-occupied.

Last night I ate horribly. I worked on a catering job, helping serve and keep platters full. Yeah, I ate there also....party food is NOT health concious food.

On the good note...my brother and his family arrived safely yesterday!!!

My weight....sitting right around the same. It seems as if i'm hovering between 192 and 196. I know that some of that is me...I'm so focused some days..but then others I struggle. I haven't been to a meeting this week. I was plannign on going this morning and then last night I wasn't thnking and we had popcorn and I drank it with a diet soda. I've figured out that when I drink a diet soda in the evening, that my weight is up...I guess the sodium...which doesn't seem that high, but you know. And couple that with popcorn...I knew immediately that weighing in would probably not be the greatest of ideas this morning. And sure enough, I was up 1.5 pounds. SO I skipped it...bad bad bad...I know! I don't know if I'll be able to get there next week....with the holiday and my brother in town...but I've GOT to start going religiously to a meeting each week. No ifs ands or buts. I need it for accountability and motivation!

I weighed myself this morning. I was quite nervous. yesterday I made pancakes and turkey sausage in the morning. Chili and cornbread for lunch. Chicken and rice casserole for dinner. I had a banana with peanut butter for a snack AND a jello pudding cup. Yikes! But this morning I was at 194.8. So it could have been worse.....overall that's pretty much the same as I was last week. I need it to go DOWN DOWN DOWN!

I did exercise this morning. 30 minutes on the exercise bike!

Well.....for all that talk I didn't weigh myself today. Not because I didnt want to...but life kinda got in the way. This morning we awoke at about 5....I don't know what woke me up..but I decided to go to the bathroom. BRRRR it was cold. Todd got up at the same time (same reason I guess) and he commented on how cold it felt. He went out to the thermostat...."Uhhhh MF it says it's 50 degrees in here" It showed that it was 23 outside...and the heat pump/fan was not running AT ALL. The thermostat showed the aux heat on...but it was blowing COLD air....obviously at 50 degrees inside. Todd went out and checked the breaker on the heat pump...all was well. We flipped the indoor breaker to shut down the heating system totally...hoping to reset it. We waited, we turned it back on....Todd noticed that we had the option for 'emergency heat'....well this sounded like an emergency...so he chose that option. It ran and it was blessed warm air for about 5 seconds...and then silence......we waited for the heat pump to re-set itself again. I don't know what happened but when it kicked back on this time, the aux heat came back on and it seemed warm. The aux heat worked for us and brought us up to 'livable' temps within the next hour...but by that time, I had already forgotten about weighing in........oh yeah, I'd already also made pancakes (with pecans for Todd) and fried up a little bit of turkey sausage..

We are trying to stay closer to home because we dont' know what's up with the heating system....the guy will be here late this afternoon/early evening.

I'll take it

I had such good plans yesterday and then I went out for dinner with mom and dad. I didn't order too badly. I ordered pretty much my normal. I got a salad, a baked sweet potato and then I got a side of baked beans. My problem...the rolls....with the cinnamon butter. YUMMY! I indulged...oh yeah, I indulged in some peanuts also!

So this morning I was contemplating not weighing myself...because I assumed that my weight would be up (even if just from the salted peanuts...not to mention the bread and butter) But, I had just the other day written about how I do better if I weigh myself every day, so I did it. I stepped onto the scales (remember yesterday was 185.8) Today was 184.0! I don't know...but I'm not asking questions! I know that I will have to really watch today because I know from past experiences that I can fight through ONE day of poor choices, but not two or three!

Nope...didn't exercise this morning......just couldn't get to it. I did however get most of the laundry completed! (one more load to fold when I get home). I also put together the casserole for dinner tonight...it's in the fridge and there is a note for Todd to tell him what time it goes into the oven this afternoon. So at least it wasn't an unproductive morning...even if it wasn't what I really should have been doing!

bear nativity

bear nativity, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

Just had to take a picture of the most adorable nativiy scene that I found and purchased. Bears!!! :-)

Mom and dad took me out to eat tonight...can't say as I did all that great foodwise. I could have done better, but it still wasn't as bad as it could have been.....ohh well, I could have done without the extra roll!!

eii yiii yiii.....I KNOW that when I dont' weigh in, I tend to 'slip'!!! This morning i was back at 195.8! ARRGGGHHHHHHHH

I'm not sure where my weight is. I didn't weigh yesterday morning...nor did I weigh this morning. Yesterday morning was by choice, this morning I plain and simple forgot until my breakfast was halfway down the hatch. This is bad. I nee to be weighing myself daily....for me it keeps me on track. I'm motivated when I see loss...and conversely, Im motivated when I don't see loss. Honestly, it's the days that I don't weigh (and lets face it.....I'm not as religious about weighing for the most part when I've been not the greatest with my eating and exercise) I tend to lose control more quickly!

Yesterday....didn't exercise. I woke up bright and early to exercise before going to work and I just couldn' do it. I reset the alarm and slept for that extra hour. And getting to it later in the day...well I didn't even sit down until somewhere near 7 or 8 pm..I was on the go all day. Oh well, you can't win them all. This is life and life will do that to sometimes!

Dropped a bit more on the scales this morning to 192.8. WHEW! I'm actually somewhat shocked with that as I woke up thirsty (not a good sign) and well..there are other factors that would make my weight a bit higher....ones that we will not go into detail here! :-) So I'm pretty happy!

At 6AM I was hot on the trail...well the exercise bike trail. Woo hoooo!!! I only did about 30 minutes...but that is 30 minutes that I did. I know that I can make grand plans to ride or exercise in the evenings, but it just doesn't seem to happen. Life and it's obligations just seem to get in the way. Oh well. :-)

Meeting results

Well, I wrote yesterdays post really early in the morning. I'm happy and proud to say that I did force myself to go to an early morning weight watchers meeting shortly after I posted yesterday. Officially, I was up 1.4 pounds.....to 194.4 pounds. (my home weight was 194.8) BUT that's not taking into effect that I had gained and gone even higher but had pulled myself back down a bit. Oh well....I'm determined that the numbers will continue downward...officially also! :-)

After my meeting, I hightailed it to the gym. I had a great workout. It flew by...thanks to my friend Sherry who I ran into at the gym. We got to talking while we exercised and the time just FLEW by! :-) I helped mom and dad move furniture and Todd and I worked outside clearing more land. (will that job EVER end???). So I was pretty active yesterday. I ate a little over my pointage but I felt pretty good about my day overall.

SOOOO this mornign I weighed myself. 194.2 That is a loss of .6 from yesterday morning. WOO HOOOO! I rode the exercise bike this morning for 55 minutes so I'm doing good thus far. I've eaten right and I'll be ok tonight I feel. :-)

Days off

Yes, I had yesterday off from work as the bank was closed due to Veterens day. What did i do with my 'landfall'? I cleaned the house, what else? The house is spic and span. I moved the furniture around so that it is basically ready to decorate for Christmas. I anticipate doing that next Wednesday as the following week is Thanksgiving. Yes, I'll be decorated before Thanksgiving. This year my brother and his family will be travelling to spend Thanksgiving with us (Christmas they will travel in the opposite direction and spend it with my brother's in-laws.....we switch back and forth every year). Soooooo since the Christmas stuff starts so soon, I figure to decorate. Actually I know from experience that if I don't decorate before they come, when they leave I feel like Christmas is partly over...and I won't have it in me to decorate. :-)

Yesterday I woke up and my weight was 195.6. This morning I woke up and I was 193.8. So that is a nice drop. Yeah water weight.....I'm so happy that you are 'departing'!

You know.....when it rains it pours. The dog at the farm/studio passed away today. We are really bummed!

Thank heavens I have off tomorrow. I feel as if today was the same as a full week! Longer!

On a different note. I had a super healthy meal tonight. I made Szechaun Chicken Stir Fry. YUMMY.

Today is a super stressful day for Todd and I. I'm not going to go into details here, but suffice to say that we have a lot riding on this day! I'm sitting here at work and worrying about things that I have no control over....which is pointless I know. But that's easier to say than to follow.

I did not weigh myself this morning. Yesterday, while I did walk quite a bit....I KNOW for a fact that I was really dehydrated. I was dying of thirst at one point. Toward the end of the day, I had picked up a headache. I'm almost 100% positive that it's because of my lack of drinking. What did I drink? In the morning with my oatmeal I had 'maybe' 8 ounces of water. I didn't have anything else until lunch (which we ate at about 1:30 or so)...and that was a diet coke. I drank about 3/4 of the bottle. NOTHING else until we got home at about 8PM. And then I downed 3..count em...THREE cans of Diet Sunkist! Does carbonated beverages count??? I know that the sodium in those drinks will also have an affect on my weight today (I've noticed that they always do)....so we'll hold off.

However, this morning on the drive in to work (ohhh the whole 2 mile drive...yeah yeah yeah...I COULD ride my bike..but it's a winding country road and it will be dark when I get off of work!) I thought about how I need to shake myself out whatever diet lull I'm in (oh wait...I don't call this a diet....but you get the point) and get my butt in gear and get myself back down to my goal weight so i can STOP PAYING FOR WEIGHT WATCHERS! I did it....and thoroughly enjoyed those two or three free months until my weight sky-rocketed!

On to the bad news of the day. Yesterday morning...early in our sojourn in DC, I was walking and my foot flipped out. I'm not sure if my ankle simply turned (it does that) or if I stepped wrong on something uneven to cause my foot to twist...but regardless I hurt my foot. Todd knew it happened and I forced myself to continue walking. This is a common thing that happens to me....my foot twists quite commonly...it usually hurts for a few minutes and then the pain subsides. So I just told him to continue walking and it would be all right. I didn't want to tell him that while it did ease up some.....it continued to bother me all throughout the day. Granted I was on my feet the whole day (this happened within an hour or our arrival in DC). I hoped that it would ease up some after I was off of it. I was wrong. That was my first thought this morning when I woke up and my foot moved....it hurts. FU...........DGE!!!!!!!!!!!! (OK, that was for anyone that is a fan of The Christmas Story...you know..Ralphie...You'll shoot your eye out......one of my husbands all time favorite movies.....one he could and does watch OVER AND OVER again).

So there is where I'm at.

white house

white house, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

Didn't weigh myself today....nor did I eat all that well....nor did I do any formal exercise. Does it count that I walked ALL day???

Woke up this morning and both Todd and I just knew that we wanted to do 'something' or go 'somewhere' today. We didn't want to stay at home. We began running through options in our head. Manassas Battlefield, Monocacy.....should we do the official tourist thing and stay in Sharpsburg and officially tour the Antietam battlefield (living here you tend to take the historic significance for granted). The list went on...the Baltimore Maritime Museum, the aquairium, The Cass railroad in West virginia, New Market, VA, Lurray caverns? We went round and round. We finally settled on driving toward DC and hopping the metro and spending the day on or near the mall. We hit up a few things (the White house visitors center, THe Holocaust Museum, THe Hirshhorn, and we briefly stopped into the National Art Gallery). All in all it was a good day and good to get away...it helped me forget about my worries that have been keeping me 'down'."

The bad thing.....the cafe where we ate our lunch...I caved and had a dessert...YUMMY!

Lets seee.......

**I didn't weigh myself today. I just plain and simple didn't feel like it!

**Even though I felt not at all charitable this morning toward this 'journey' to lose weight....I did get on the exercise bike and ride for about 30 minutes early this morning (before I even went to work)

**Currently working on taking all of our old pictures (digital) and pulling them into the photoshop elements organizer. The pictures stored on my computer are done....just started the ones stored on Todd's computer. Yikes....how'd we get so many pictures! It's gonna be fun for me though to go through them...look at them all. (also a headache on some...trying to figure out where and who!)

**Still just feeling blah....snap out of it MF!!

The life of a cat

The life of a cat, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

Not much happening here today. My weight as up this morning. I didn't do to badly today....but then again, not that great with my eating. My positive for the day.....I did 70 minutes of exercise!!!

duldrums

I'm still feeling really blue and well, miserable. I know that some of it can be attributed to the monthly ick, which has arrived on my doorstep. But I will also say that usually I feel down UNTIL it starts and then once it actually arrives I'm ok. Not this month. SOooo I just want to sit here and cry. Not doin' it.......why? because I'm at work.

I should be jumping up and down for joy. This morning I was getting ready for work and I was in the closet looking for something to wear. I just couldn't find anything that interested me. I looked up on the shelf and saw a corduroy skirt that I bought on sale last year, in a size 10 (hey, that's all they had). I tucked it away because I couldn't' wear it. Something possessed me to try it on this morning. I did and guess what I'm wearing to work. Yep, a size 10 skirt. No, I'm not a true size 10...but it's a size ten that I'm wearing right now.

As for my weight 192.0 this morning. Typically, if things are true to history, the ick weight will drop off in about two more days. I'll be anxious for that. If I'm lucky it will drop me back into the 180's! :-)

Worked out at the gym for almost an hour and a half yesterday and I did get on the exercise bike this morning and rode for just shy of an hour....so I'm working on it!

reflection of change

reflection of change, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

As I've pondered where I am in my weight loss journey, I started to think about how much I've changed. So a reflection of my image was fitting for a picture, even though that wasn't my original intent. Is it even more fitting that it's a reflection in a cooking pan????

My weight was up a bit this morning. It could be any myrid of reasons. It could be the delicious Apple strudel that I made yesterday. It could be the hot dogs that I roasted on the fire last night, salt city. Or it could be the fact that the wonderful (note the sarcasm) ick should be here within the next week or so. Hmmmm.

Apple Strudel......ok, so yesterday morning I decided at the last minute that I wanted to try my hand at apple strudel. So I read a bit about apple strudel online and whipped one up. Let me say, it was super tasty! I actually did have the points for it. (I think...I need to work up the points today).

The Hot dogs. Todd decided yesterday that he wanted to cook a steak and potato over an open fire last night. Now I'm still on my ban of beef products...so a steak was out of the question for me. So I got to thinking..what's the next best thing over an open flame...HOT DOGS! Nooooooooooooooo. I bought turkey dogs....100% fat free. But, even though they are fat free they are still high in sodium. So I fear that may have affected my weight. OOOPS....I forgot, we also roasted a few marshmallows (which I forgot to put into my daily food log.....uhhhh ohhhh). We forwent the chocolate and the graham crackers though! (I did have them...but we decided to just go with marshmallows to save calories/points).

The ick....well.....there need be no explanation for that. That is self-explanatory.

So, we woke up early this morning. We got dressed and headed out. By 8AM, I was done voting and Todd and I were on the canal taking a nice walk. We were out for about an hour and a half. Fall is such a wonderful time of the year!

Monday duldrums

Sherrick Trail, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

I may be quiet...but I'm still plugging along in this journey. ON saturday and Sunday both, Todd and I went out hiking. The picture above is from the trail that we hiked on Sunday...don't you just love the little log steps that they put in on some of these trails (this one is from the Sherrick trail on the ANtietam Battlefield). On Saturday we walked the C&O Canal. This morning I rode the exercise bike. :-)

Just writing that last paragraph I'm blown away at how blessed I am that I have two national parks within walking distance from my house. And parks that are peffect for hiking, walking, and bike riding!

My weight is down to 191.2 from the 193 that I was at on Thursday morning.

I don't have much to say today. I"m feeling a bit blue.......

Weighed myself this morning. I did so with some fear and trepidation because I have eaten over my points value each and every day. But I'm down to 191.8. So that is 1.2 pounds in the last two days. I'll take it!

Last night I curbed my nighttime eating desire by eating tic tacs. It worked!!! I know I used to eat the WW fruities in the evening when I felt the urge to eat......I forgot about that trick. IT WORKED! WOOO HOOO!

I got up an extra hour early this morning and I hopped on the exercise bike. I knocked out 45 minutes. I was watching the biggest loser (australian season three). They had the contestants doing some type of drills on the treadmill...run and then a walking recovery. Well during the recovery they asked questions. The one question was "name one thing you like about yourself". The first guy rattled off "I'm a funny guy" but then they got to the next girl. She just stood there and you could see the blankness on her face. She really didn't' have a clue as to what to say....and she couldn't think of something. It got me to thinking.....how many overweight people put up this wall of 'fatness' around themselves and they stop (or can't ) see the good in themselves. I think is some ways that I have in the past and honestly even in the present experienced this. I think where I"m at now is that I can see the good stuff but it's sometimes hard to believe the looks part because I still struggle with seeing myself as a thinner person.

WHY?????

Why am I so lacking the will power to carry on this journey of losing weight. I went to my meeting yetserday morning hoping that would pump me up and bolster my will power. I did good when I got home. I did good all day. Dinner rolled around and I did good. I cleaned up the kitchen and then it started. I was totally craving something salty. I had pretzels (luckily only one serving as if you remember I put the pretzels into sandwhich bags after counting out portions), I had baked tortilla chips (looking at it...probably only one serving), I had a weight watchers dessert sundae thingy. I had a WW sweet and salty bar. Ohhh and I had a 1 point piece of candy. WHYYYYYYY?????

This morning I woke up and exercised. I finished up my grocery list for the upcoming trip to the grocery store. AND I wrote my intake of food down for the day. Come hell or high water I'm sticking to it today! I actually have 2 points to spare to account for a snack sometime after dinner. Maybe I'll make popcorn...who knows. I'm hoping that maybe if my food intake is pre-written down that I'll stick to it!!!

Repetition

I really don't have much to say. I did make it to a meeting this morning. I was up 7 pounds. I'm not happy with that figure, but I'm ok with it. Meanwhile, I've eaten pretty good thus far today. :-)


Planned out my menu for next week, grocery list is in the works. I'm gonna make it this week...AND post a loss!!!

Trudging along!

cat mosaic, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

I am trudging along wiht my eating....still struggling to get it under control. However I made it to the gym again today...so that is three days in a row for exercise! WOO HOOOOO!!!

I am going to hit up a WW meeting tomorrow morning...and face the music!!!!

Monday Madness

Ok, I was going to post some handy dandy picture today..but decided to hold off on that....at least for now....maybe later. :-)



This morning I did the baking that I needed to do. Todd has a meeting that he is going to tomorrow night and volunteered to bring desserts. Uhhh yeah....that means MF bakes. No, I can't even imagine buying something.....not when I love to bake. So I did end up eating a bit of stuff this morning. But all in all, I didn't nibble or taste test too many things! I packaged up everything for Todd and brought the leftovers to work today. :-)



I also got on the exercise bike! WOO HOOO! Rode an hour! Todd mentioned that he'd like to go for a walk tonight. I sure hope so. One because I love the crisp coolness and colors of fall. Secondly because that would give me an hour or so of extra activity. And thirdly, because I haven't taken a picture yet today for my 365 project!

Slowly but surely, I'll get back on track!!!!

half eaten

half eaten, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

I wish I had the willpower of whatever animal ate half of this corn cob. I start something and I just can't stop myself from continuing. I know if it were me eating that corn cob it would have been picked dry!!!

Ok....enough with the goofiness!

Not much to talk about today. Todd and I headed over to the studio apartment. Let me say, it was really nice when we moved from there to know that we didn't have to move all of our stuff immediately and that it would be used as storage. But, we moved over 7 months ago and I had still not completely finished packing everything. My word there are still pictures on the wall!!! I went over today and worked some on organizing some stuff. I have a HUGE HUGE HUGE pile to go to Goodwill. While I was over there I spent some time organizing my freezer (I left my old freezer over there and taht is where I have the stockpiled stuff.....all the home made/grown stuff that was frozen......I just give todd my 'grocery' list every once in a while...for example I'll say, bring me 2 quarts of applesauce, 1 of corn and a bag of raspberries....or whatever I need) I also cut the last of the flowers off the plants in the flower garden...well the stuff that we are getting ready to pull. I put those flower heads in my drying racks for seed stock for next year. (I had to empty the drying racks first because I already had heads in there). Lets see, I cleaned my house, cut up two watermelon (sugar babies) that we found in the garden...what a nice surprise. And then of course the never ending laundry. (worse today because I brought over two loads of stuff from the other apartment...crazy stuff that got left....) It's just been a really busy day. So i've been on the go all day. With the friendship bread, I've eaten just a few points over my daily allotement. That's what flex points are supposed to be there for!!!

Still no exercise...ok...formal exercise!

Could this be the reason?

How I sleep, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

Imagine that this picture is my bed. I have long known that my husband is a bed hog....but add in the cats. Could this be the reason that I have a pulled muscle near my shoulder blade? (I can't remember specifically hurting it). I have three cats that like to sleep right up against me....not to mention my husband too. I truly am an acrobat whilst asleep! hmmmm I worry that Desi willl decide to join the fray of cats!

Well, I'm no where closer to stopping the screaming voices in my head. I talked to Todd quite a bit last night about what I am feeling. It made me actually put to words some of what I'm feeling
1. I'm tired of being somewhat obsessed with what I eat.
2. I'm really just honestly bummed out that I had one week of not watching closely to what I was eating ...not even pigging out. And I gained so much weight.
3. Stark realization of exactly how close I'm going to have to watch for the rest of my life if I continue to 'care'.
4. Would it be better to give up and be happy with not having to constantly worry.

Todd actually said the same words that JC said in a comment. He said yeah, you'll be happy for a bit. But when you have diabetes or a heart attack, then you will be more worried about those things. He said, "In essence you have a choice to make you constantly stay on your toes to keep the weight off....or down the line you constantly stay on your toes to keep your body artificially regulated with medications to control cholesteral, diabetes, heart disease, blood pressure, etc.

I know that his comments (and JC's comments) are correct. And I honestly don't want to go back to the 315 pound MaryFran. But I guess I want the 'easy' way out. Maintain my weight at a decent level but not have to work for it. But lets be honest....God didn't give me a body that would do that.

That said, even in the midst of all of this inner turmoil, I've been eating as healthy as possible. When I planned out our meals for next week, they are healthy meals. So at least something has stuck with me!

Oh, Todd had a theory about why I've packed on so much weight (about 10 pounds) in such a short period of time (2 weeks) without eating all that terribly (yeah, not as good as I normally eat, but not 100% off target, for the first week and really not bad at all during the second week). His theory. My body has been stuck in a rut for the last year at this 180 mark. It doesn't want to drop any further...it's fighting it for all it's worth. So during those two weeks, even though I wasn't eating terrible (just not the greatest) my body saw the extras as a way to get itself further away from that 180 mark....and it stored every bit of fat that it could. Interesting theory!

Feelings

wheel, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

No real reason for the picture, other than that fact that I took it yesterday and I really like it, and I'm grasping at straws to feel more 'up" today.

I'm struggling with that inner voice that says to throw in the towel, eat what you want, and be happy...no matter what you weigh!

Even as that little inner voice says that and I subsequently think, "wow, that would be nice" I then mentally scream..."NO NO NO! I will not give up and thereby fail!" Of course am I failing now anyway?

Not a good day....lots of thoughts bickering with one another in my head!

Not a good morning

What more to say than that I am fighting the urge to emotional eat! This has been a rough morning. Got up at 3 to feed the baby kitten. It was playful and eating and all was right with the world. At 7am when I went to feed it....it was dead. Yesterday was such a good day...a clean bill of health from the vet, found it a home. Just good. This morning a burial. (yes, we have a new grave in our yard. Came inside and lysol'ed down the bathroom that the kitten had resided in. And ran some laundry (old rags and stuff that we had used in kittens cage). I started to fold a big load of laundry that I did last night. A pen must have been in a pair of my husbands khakis.....soooooo I lost three dress shirts/sweaters, a pair of khakis and a skirt! Ohh my husbands clothes that were in the same load....FINE! This was all before breakfast! I finally made some toast. I won't lie to you, I want to go back and have more!

And for Donnalouise...I live in Sharpsburg, MD. That is about 20 miles west of Frederick. We are about 45 -60 minutes from DC and or Baltimore.

Kitten eating

Kitten eating, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

There you go...a picture of me. Ok, at least a picture of my hands and a bit of my upper torso! But yes, I'm still feeding this kitty. I think I have a home for it. However stupid me (I'm a sucker) offered this person to continue to foster the kitten until it is weened. Since the person taht is taking the cat works 10 hour shifts, they were very grateful as this little baby really needs to be fed a bit more often then that. It is cute, but i'll admit that I'll be happy to hand the reigns over to someone else. She is currently being very quiet (rare rare thing). But ONLY because Todd is laying on the sofa watching tv with this little kitten laying on a towel on his chest. I think he has two of our cats curled up next to him.

It is Todd's birthday today. I resisted the urge to bake him a cake or any goodies. But I do have to say that I ate more than I should have. we went to eat at a place in Frederick, MD called Brewers Alley. They have VERY good food. I didn't partake of any of the beer that is brewed there. (Todd did...and then brought some home!). I honestly did try to order healthy...but it turns out they had a misprint on the menu and it wasn't what I thought it was.....it was more 'fattening'. BUT, it was super tasty! And of course being a food addict (my husband also) when the gave him a free dessert, well...who are we to say no. I will say that we did split that dessert!

I'm getting ready to get off of the computer and actually lay out my menu for next week. No more sitting on the fence!!!

How could anyone 'dump' something so cute!

How could anyone 'dump' something so cute!, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

Shhhhhhh!!!! The baby is finally asleep!!! Yesterday someone dumped this adorable kitten at our business. It it totally tame and craves human attention, but not totally weened. It is currently residing in our guest bathroom. We need to find this little sucker a home! In the meantime, we'll continue bottle feedings and constantly changing the hot water bottle that we have given it for added warmth, should only need the extra attention for another day or so! Any suggestions for finding a home for this little gal would be much appreciated!

My weight. I"m really embarrassed and ashamed to write about this. I am currently experiences the BIGGEST setback I have had this whole journey. I weighed myself this morning at 194 pounds! YIKES! How did this happen. This past week I neverwent over my points by more than 3-5 points! That'smy flexpoints (which I do know I can't eat too often...but come on 5 pounds???)

I'm not giving up. I am going to restart my exercise regime. I've done fairly well with food thus far today. If I can manage tonight and stay within my 9 alloted points all will be good! :-)

I hope I'm the lucky gal!

I entered the Gracie Gear Giveaway!
Check out Roni’s Weight Loss Blog for more information.

piping hot bread

piping hot bread, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

My downfall! I had planned on having this for breakfast (naturally since the bread was ready to bake and subsequentially eat at 7:30 this morning). I've got my plan for eating the rest of the day to compensate for a bigger breakfast!

I'm not doing terribly with eating. But I'm not totally on track! I'm sitting on the fence so to speak! Exercise???? What's that????

The party

October18, 2008 (48 of 365), originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

Well, it's over. I worked like a demon yesterday to clean and get ready for a group of people to come over. Yes, it was a bit of last minute preparations....but remember, I just got back fromvacation and since then I'veworked about 25 hours, unpacked everything, did a butt load of laundry, oh yeah...and processedabout 2-3 bushels of apples into applesauce.

I can't say that I came through this eating event as well as I did the pot luck the other day. I didn't eat really bad though. I had a hot dog (yes, I broke my 3 month without beef last night!...and they were all beef dogs), a small scoop of potato salad, one of baked beans and a few chips. I did have a very small piece of chocolate cake (one and a half inch square!) I did drink some hot spiced apple cider! YUMMO!

We are planning on hiking today. Hopefully the weather holds for us!

Ohhhh yes......we had the first frost last night!!!!!

Reflections on this eating stuff

You know. After a week of eating , well not the greatest. I was ready to come home and get back to eating better. Better portions and better choices. Now for the really odd thing. It's almost if my body is going through a detox or something. I'm not going to go into sickening details here...but suffice it to say, that things are 'moving'. Almost as if my body wants to purge that all from my system. How interesting that while my mind wants all that yummy food, my body is actually telling me via how I felt after eating it and by it's current actions that it really doesn't like those foods. Looking at it objectively, why would it. Those foods hold little or no nutritional value. It goes back to the thought of actually looking at food as fuel instead of something that you eat solely for taste!

OK, I can't lie though....if I were near an O'Charley's......I'd be really tempted to go get some of their heavenly cinnamon donut dessert thing!

Haven't weighed myself. I'm giving myself a few days to let the water retention and other vacation gluttony effects wear off!

Meanwhile, normal life is keeping me busy. I'm at work, but I'll be rushing home to get my house cleaned and food ready for our get together tonight. My house is a WRECK! I haven't had time to vacuum since coming home..(those cats.....cause me to have to vacuum a heck of a lot!). Not to mention that the kitchen floor is atrocious (apple sauce making the last two nights!) Todd has his list of things to do this morning and he's promised to help this afternoon. :-) Of course this morning got blown away. Yesterday morning he went out and found that his car lights had been left on and his battery was dead. We gave him a jump and all seemed to be well. He used the car throughout the day and all was well. This morning he went out and it wouldn't start again....the lights were off. So something more is happening. We wonder if the battery is just about gone. The alternator in the car is relatively new (OK, a couple years old...but still...). I just left work and went home....he's in my car and he'll pick me up from work. (OK, at least he'd better....he has been known to forget to pick me up in the past!)

Back in the saddle again!

Table Decoration, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

First of all, there is no particular reason for the picture, other than the fact that I like it. I snapped the picture at the reception for my friend last Saturday night.

Yesterday I had a major victory. I had made the vow that when I got home I would pick up the reigns and get back to eating healthy. Well when I made that statement, in the back of my mind I knew that it would be difficult for a few reasons. Number one, we are having a party at our house on Saturday night. Number two, my first day back at work would be a work day WITH a potluck! Well, I'm happy to say that the potluck came and went with NO FOOD passing my lips! I'm pretty darn tickled about that! I worked from noon until 6. The potluck was literally set up 5 feet from my desk. I had to see the food ALL day. I didn't cave! I ate lunch before I came to work. I brought in my food, laid it on the table (ok, chips and dip...easy stuff since I was on vacation) and didn't give it another thought. Ok, I gave it another thought, but I didn't partake!

I didn't weigh myself today. I drank a TON of water yesterday and it hasn't started 'leaving my system' so to speak. I'm going to give it a bit of time. In the meantime, I'm still drinkin' up! :-)

Other news....just in the last 2 hours or so, my ear has started to hurt. Sharp pains. Hopefully that eases up!

OCTOBER 16, 2008 (46 OF 365)

OCTOBER 16, 2008 (46 OF 365), originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

My weight this morning. The last time I weighed myself (right before we left) I was at 184.8. So not good. I had hoped to never see a weight that high. I'm not happy about it. But I'm ready to fix the problem. I also realize that some of that is water retention.....ohhh my water consumption was poor to say the least. (non-existent would be closer to the truth)

I was writing an email to a friend telling her about my vacation and I decided to copy it here for my own records! :-) (Sorry Vanessa ...just skip the rest of this entry!) So you can just skip it...in fact, I go into detail about what i ate...maybe I should skip it too......it may make me hungry for food I shouldn't be eating!

Ahhhhhhhh vacation always leaves such mixed feelings when it is over. It is always soooooo good to get home. I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed! Just being at home was sounding really good! HOWEVER, coming back to work.....I could have done without. But at least work will give me the opportunity to catch up on all sorts of things online! :-)

Vacation....lets talk about food first! Hey, it's nearest and dearest to my heart. I ate. Food. Lots and lots of yummy tasting food (I'll go more into detail later!) Toward the end of the vacation I just felt miserable and icky from the food I was eating. Not just the amounts (that I'm not used to) but the choices! I was actually looking forward to coming home and eating healthy! In answer to your next question. Nope, I didn't let the way I felt change the way I ate. That is so sad isn't it????

OK, vacation overview by day!

Wednesday
We had planned on getting up and leaving for Indiana by 4AM. Things were going well. We went to bed and the car was totally packed. The alarm went off at 3:45. I was sooo tired that I decided to sleep for 1/2 hour more. I reset the alarm and went back to sleep. Uhhhhh...I forgot to turn the alarm back on! I woke up at 5:40! We were on the road by six. The trip out was uneventful. It did however start to rain at about the Ohio state line and it poured the whole trip out....until about 30 miles from my brothers house! That slowed us down so it actually took about 2 hours longer to get there! Pretty much once we got there, we unloaded the car and talked a bit (and played with the kids in my case) and we then headed out for dinner. Food on Wednesday. Todd and I stopped and ate at Panera Bread for breakfast. I had a cinnamon crunch bagel and a fruit cup. (I love that bagel...so yummy) For lunch we just stopped at Bob evans. I had a veggie plate. :-) For dinner we went to this local brewery. I ordered a brewhouse club. It was a warm club on a hoagie roll. I chose to get a side of pasta salad. I had asked the waitress if it was an oil based pasta salad or a mayonnaise based salad. She answered oil. It wasn't. It was totally a cream based salad. Ohhh well....it was still tasty. My brother and Cindy ordered a basket of "scooby snacks". They were potato wedges, liberally sprinkled with old bay with a dip. The dip was a ranch dip with finely chopped cucumbers in it. REALLY good combo. I had about 3 wedges. I can't remember what Todd ate....but he did have a pumpkin ale and a bloody mary. I managed to drink all my normal water today...over 64 ounces.

Thursday
Thursday was a relaxing day. I started out by jogging for 55 minutes. I was totally amazed at my endurance. Yes that was 55 minutes of straight jogging. I can't say that I was pushing myself...because I was. HOWEVER, I did it! And ohhh boy, did I ever do it! I am used to exercising...but not jogging. The muscles in my legs just screamed! I was so stiff and sore for the next few days that it was ridiculous.....it also put an end to my exercise during my vacation! I could barely walk up the steps or get in and out of my car without groaning. Oh wait...I did groan! Todd and I walked through the Village at Winona. It is a cool little 'village' This village is all cool little buildings that house shops for local artisans. All sorts of things! Todd and I saw that they actually had just put in a building (since our last visit) that housed a spa. Hmmmm...that got the wheels a turnin'. But we continued on. Most of the day was spent at my brothers relaxing with them. I did ride over to the YMCA with my brother to drop Alison off at gymnastics. She was given clearance to go back to gymnastics. She can't do much, since she has her broken wrist (she slipped off the balance beam while doing a handstand), but she wanted to go back...and she works on her floor and leg stuff. While she was there, Alan and I went over and walked through an orchard that he has permission to utilize. We picked about 3/4 of a bushel of apples. We did go back and watch Alison for about a half hour (she wanted me to see her at gymnastics) Eating this day was very healthy. For breakfast I had toast, lunch was fruit and veggies and for dinner Cindy grilled chicken breasts, cooked carrots and zucchini. We also had a side salad. So Thursday we ate at home the whole time. We did run to the coffee shop and get drinks. I got an Italian Ice! I also once again managed to drink my water for the day!

FRIDAY
This is the day that the eating went downhill! Todd and I had talked about it and decided to get massages while we were on vacation. So after eating breakfast at home, we headed out. We stopped at the coffee shop again I got another Italian Ice. Then it was off to Winona Lake. We walked on the new walking path and then headed to the village at Winona and made our appointment for our massages. We went into one other shop that we had skipped previously. By that time it was time for lunch. We chose to eat at Cerelean (spelling?). It is a Japanese influenced restaurant located in the Village at Winona. Cindy and Alan basically said that we should try to eat there because it was a neat place. My brother told me what stuff he had made in the restaurant (hostess stand, display, tabletops and benches). Todd LOVED it! Of course he would love any place where he can get really good sushi! Yes, he got sushi. I got a bento box lunch. I chose the Panko Crusted Chicken over a bed of sticky rice. It came with a dipping sauce (raspberry and something else). For my sides (you get three). I chose Asian noodles, Mandarin Orange salad with a vinaigrette dressing and the broccolini (tis a broccoli salad to DIE for!) YUMMY! We left there and walked back through the village to the ice cream shop. I got the banana fudge pontoon. It is vanilla ice cream, banana slices and hot fudge served in a waffle cone bowl. Topped with whipped cream and cherries (I nixed the nuts). Todd got some peanut butter fudge sundae. (I told you the food went downhill, didn't I.....well or uphill depending on how you look at it). I played with the kids all afternoon and then for dinner we all went to the little mexican restaurant in downtown Warsaw. I had a vegetarian combo. It had refried beans, a bean burrito, a cheese enchilada and a chalupa. YES, I had the chips and salsa AND I even splurged and had some of the cheese dip that Alan and Cindy ordered! I dind't even fill up my water mug today....and stopped getting water in restaurants....I switched to straight up diet soda! And I didn't drink much water for the rest of the vacation!

Saturday
We woke up and headed out almost immediately. Sullivan, where Julies wedding was being held is about 4-5 hours from Warsaw. I had also researched and found the Clabber Girl Museum in Terre Haute.....I just had to go. We showered and headed out. I grabbed the last of the biscotti that I had packed to take along. We stopped at the coffee shop that we love (courthouse coffee) out there and Todd got a coffee drink. I got an Apple Pie Chai. We enjoyed our drinks and biscotti during the drive down. The drive was uneventful and we made it to Terre Haute (30 miles outside of Sullivan) in good time. It was lunchtime by that point. BUT no fear. I had read that there was a little cafe in the museum. Of course we ate there! I was still doing pretty good...trying to make healthier choices in the midst of grand disaster foodwise! I got a turkey sandwich served on a flatbread. It came with either chips or pasta salad. I got the salad (oil based...which I prefer anyway). So I felt like I did decent for lunch. Todd and I walked through the museum. It was a quaint little place. And when we were done, we decided that we just had to partake of some dessert in the bakery/cafe. I got a double chocolate scone. It was ok...but looking back I wonder why in the world I ordered it. I mean, I like ooey gooey desserts and scones are typically dry! No matter, I ate every bite! Todd and I then travelled onward to Sullivan. We found our hotel and the church. we went out exploring a bit and found an antique fleamarket place. I bought a few bottles to add to my collection. Then it was back to the hotel to relax, shower and get ready for the wedding. The wedding was at 6:30. I had to be there early of course. It was good, I got to see Julie for a few minutes before the wedding (she called me down to talk to her). The wedding was very nice. Formal yet not stuck up and stiff. The reception was nice and relaxed and a lot of fun. Food at the reception. Julie had lots of different sandwiches. I think Todd got Roast Beef. I chose a turkey croissant. I picked up some veggies from the veggie platter that she had with a little bit of a veggie dip. She had Cole slaw (I think), potato salad and macaroni salad. I had a little spoon of the macaroni salad. She had chips and stuff like that also. Drinks ...there was a whole assortment of sodas. They had iced tea and bottled water. Yep, I skipped the bottled water and went right to the sodas. At least I stuck with diet! tee hee hee. I did have a piece of wedding cake! Her wedding cake was a mixture of chocolate and vanilla cake. (different tiers were different types). I went up to get Todd and I cake. I got one of each. Todd chose the chocolate...so i had the vanilla. I did have some of the green punch...but ignored the mints and nuts! We got back to the hotel room at around 11.

Sunday
We woke up and went down for the free breakfast at the hotel. I knew it would be something like donuts and bagels (Days Inn.....apparently brand new...and I think the only hotel for like 30 miles). I got a cinnamon cake donut and a banana (yep, I was still half heartily trying to cling to some semblance of healthiness...tee hee hee). We then drove back to Indianapolis (about 2 hours away.) The plan was to visit the Indianapolis Art Museum. Being as it was Sunday, it didn't open until noon. We got to Indy at about 10:30. So we drove around and explored for a while. For lunch we decided to go to O'Charleys. I got pretzel crusted chicken and mashed potatoes. It came with a side salad (honey mustard was my choice). The problem for me came when Todd decided to get an after dinner/lunch drink. I decided to peruse the dessert menu. HOT mini cinnamon donuts, served with a cream cheese dip! Ohhhh I HAD HAD HAD to have them! Todd said he would help me by taking a few bites. His drink came (coffee and Irish cream~~~ reminds me, I want to make some of my own Irish Cream again) and then my donuts came. She came out with a plate and a little bowl of the dip. The donuts were in a white bag. She shook the bag to coat the donuts and then dumped them onto the plate. (she left the bag for leftovers). HEAVEN! That is exactly where I was after the first bite! And the second bite! I could have happily skipped the whole meal and went straight to the hot donuts! Donuts done, I was feeling sooooo stuffed. We hopped into the car and drove to the art museum. What a great museum...and FREE! We were able to visit every section of the museum EXCEPT for the Asian section. I bought some Christmas gifts in the gift shop, so I was happy to get my Christmas shopping started! At the Art museum...on the campus, they have what they call the Lilly House. It is a huge estate and house. The gardens are spectacular and the house is a wonderful architectural treasure. We left the museum grounds just before 5PM (when they close) and started out for Warsaw. It should have been only 2 hours. But somehow it stretched into 3.5 hours! The traffic was horrendous! We hit EVERY red light and they were the shortest lights I had ever seen. We had to sit through some of them two or three times until we got through the intersection! We stopped at a convenience store to get drinks. I had a chocolate milk! YUMMY! :-) We FINALLY got back to my brothers and we were just so happy to get there that we stayed there and ate some stuff there. I had fruit and veggies. :-)

Monday
Monday morning dawned. We showered and headed out to Big Apple Bagels, a bagel shop (obviously). I had an apple pie bagel and a diet coke. (yep, still drinking the diet drinks, no water). And then we headed over for our massages. I had chosen to do the hot rocks massage. I've read about it and the thought of hot rocks on my always cold body just sounded really neat. I was informed that this would be a unique hot rocks as she still focused heavily on massage. It did feel good. I will admit that I'm not used to being massaged so every once in a while I would tense up....she would wait until I relaxed and then continue. I'll probably do another someday. I wasn't like Todd though. HE loves massages (he's had them before). When he came out he was raving about it. Me, it was nice but nothing that I just went gaga over. :-)
*After the massages, we headed back to my brothers place. They have a locally owned fast food place. I think they have 8 locations. It's called Penguin Point. Todd had decided that he would break his no fast food vow to go to Penguin Point. So we walked down there with Cindy and the kids. I got a grilled chicken breast sandwich and a side of baked beans with my diet coke. Todd on the other hand got a Wally Burger (double cheeseburger) and french fries! We walked back to my brothers house and Todd and I hopped in the car. We went back to the apple orchard and picked apples for a while. I filled up my trunk. We picked about 4 or 5 bushels to bring home. Yes, I'm done with my applesauce...but FREE apples! So I'm doing more! Oh and a bushel or so is for mom. We stopped at the coffee shop again after picking. I got an Italian ice AND a cinnamon roll :-)
*Dinner was at my brothers house...pasta and homemade bread. Interestingly enough, this was the day that Alex decided that he really really really liked Uncle Todd. He wanted Uncle Todd to push his stroller. He wanted Uncle Todd to sit with him at the drums. He wanted Uncle Todd, Uncle Todd, Uncle Todd. I was chopped liver. :-)

Tuesday
I woke up early. I got dressed and read for a while until the house really stirred. I ran to the coffee shop while Todd was in the shower. I got a chai and another cinnamon roll! Then we headed out in a caravan with my brother and his family for Peru, In. We went to The Grissom Air Museum. Twas really cool. We got to sit in the cockpit of an F4 and in a helicopter. They had tons of cool stuff and pictures. Then we went outside and they had a bunch of military jets that you could see. We went up into the observation tower which was neat because you could look over and see the runway of the Grissom AFB.
*We ate lunch at a restaurant that I think was called The Siding. It was an old train station with two train cars attached to it. We ate in the train cars (they were dining rooms). I had a turkey club and french fries. Wait! I had water!!!!! Riley sat next to me. He had gotten the potato chips (fresh...fried there) I had a few off of his plate....YUMMO!
*On the way back from Peru we ran into a bulk food store. Oh my word...the prices were HALF of what we pay around here! I bought a few things that I knew that I needed or would need soon!
*For dinner, Alan and Cindy got a babysitter and the four of us went to NoaNoa. Todd got a bunch of Sushi. I got the pesto chicken pasta. Oh my word is that stuff good! I got the house raspberry vinaigrette dressing. It is to die for! After we ate, even though I was stuffed full, we got one piece of rum brownie and split it four ways.

Wednesday
This was really a ho hum day. Todd and I pulled out of Warsaw at 4:30. I drove the first 5-6 hours and then we stopped for breakfast (boring Bob Evans again...but I love the cinnamon pancakes...and heck the bacon was tasty also) and then Todd drove the rest of the way home. We swung through H-Town and picked up the few groceries that I needed for the upcoming week. (basically perishables). We ate at Gandolfos (I got a Burning bridge....a turkey sub, and a diet coke).
*Finally at home, we petted the cats and unloaded the car. I immediately started on laundry and processing the apples! I finally stopped making applesauce at about 8 last night. I have a few more hours to do tonight. :-)

So that brings me up to date! Today I'm back at work. Wishing I wasn't here. I would be happy just to be at home for a day to get my 'bearings'. But oh well. :-)

I'm back in the saddle again. My food consumption today has been on target...and I'm working on the water!