Work in progress, that's what I am!! I ate way too much and way to poorly last night! I know I know...I swore I was not going to. I can't even begin to describe my thought processes while I was indulging. On one hand I was disgusted with myself....on the other hand I was just blindly doing it (eating). It wasn't as if I actually came up with an excuse or anything (so I guess I did conquer that aspect from my last entry...haa haa haa) but I just ate. OH my word, I feel so bloated and icky this morning! Just plain fat! And you know what...that is the utterly crazy thing. When I was HUGE (lets face it 315 pounds was huge) I never felt 'fat'. I was fat, but I never felt it. Now that I've lost a ton of weight (well, maybe not a full ton, but 130 pounds give or take) when I indulge I feel bloated and icky. Isn't that ironic?
I'm off work this morning. A rare treat on a Saturday morning. I"m happy to say that I'm still lounging around the house in my nightgown. :-) I have always loved those days when I can do NOTHING and just read and relax and not even worry about those basic fundamental things like getting dressed! :-) So yes, even though I woke up at 5:30-6:00 AM, I came out to the living room, and curled up on the couch with my book. I finished that one (I was almost done). I tiptoed around and picked out another book to read....and I flew through that one also! I just finished that a bit ago. I got out my camera and I've played a bit, taking pictures of the cats. Desi poses for the camera. Ethel is way to interested in the camera...she wants to be sniffing it and 'helping' mommy take a picture. Lucy on the other hand HATES to have her picture taken. I can SOMETIMES snap off ONE picture before she glares at me and runs away! Jodi....well if the cat would move, she would probably take a great picture....because she doesn't care about anything....however she rarely moves (ok, she does move somewhat). I plan on relaxing a bit more.....maybe pull out a third book and read some more. But I do have to get a shower here before too long. I'm going into mom and dad's to see a friend and her husband that will be there. They are missionaries to the Philippines, teaching school in a mission school. Their departure to go back has been a bit delayed, but they ALMOST have their complete support from what dad told me last night. So anyway, Rachel is going to be there this afternoon. So I'm going to run up and see her. (she actually changed the time to coincide with a time that they knew that I Could make it). Hopefully she'll have her baby with her! It's so hard to believe that she has an 8 month old baby! I mean, I can remember it like yesterday when she was in 2nd and 3rd grade herself and I was babysitting her. Yeah, I think I should shower before I go up there! :-)
After I see Rachel for a bit, Todd and I are going to go out to eat, and then get groceries. Yep, real exciting day. I think I'm going to run into the camera shop and look for a new tripod for my camera. The one that I've been using I don't like. It's the one that we had purchased a while back for use with a different camera. There is nothing wrong with it......I just don't like it. So I'm going to see about getting a new one. :-)
Nothing else new to talk about.........so I think I'm going to head off to my next book!
You know, the food thing is such a constant learning process. I think analyzing why you did what you did and what you were feeling/thinking during the process can help you to learn how to make things different next time. Don't be too hard on yourself, as long as you are still working at this one meal won't kill ya!
ReplyDelete