Feeling strong!

I don't know what is different. I dno't know what has changed. I know that this morning I woke up and I actually feel back 'into the game'. I know that it defies reason. Why would I simply wake up and my mental game be back. What would cause it. I dont' know. I will tell you what I do know. I woke up at 6:15. I didn't have to wake up utnil 8 at the latest. I laid in bed for a few minutes...and then got up. After goign to the bathrooom, I ran out to my desk and picked up my headphones. I went back to the bedroom and hopped on the exercise bike. I turned on the laptop, plugged in the headphones and preceeded to watch some videos on You Tube. (todd was sleeping a few feet away). I rode 30 minutes....and did 7.59 miles. After my ride i went to the kitchen and made breakfast. This was actually something that was planned. I work today from 10 till 6pm. And Todd works from 6 until about midnight. So we had planned on having breakfast together. I had cooked some potatoes last night. So all i had to do was peel and slice them before frying them. Todd mentioned the other week that he was hungry for chipped beef over home fries. SO that is what I made. I knew that the chipped beef gravy would be enough for me...pointwise...so i had mine over two slices of low cal/high fiber bread. So as to not feel deprived, I had a very small portion of potatoes as a side. After cleaning up the kitchen I went to my computer. I first of all logged my mileage in my exercise logbook. I then meticulously entered in my food intake for breakfast AND my lunch which i had packed while in the kitchen. Breakfast was a bit high...so I'm going to have to be careful at home tonight. I ate lunch today at my desk. And then i spent my lunch break taking a walk around town. 20 minutes......1 mile! So I'm at 8.59 miles for today. I'm debating. The weather is GORGEOUS outside. When I get off at 6PM. Do i want to go for a bike ride? Go for a jog? Or work on the painting? I'll probably settle on the painting. I can always add another ride in on the inside exercise bike should Iwant another workout tonight but can't fit it in because it gets dark. Heck, I can do a video. I haven't done an exercise video in AGES!

As for motivation...will power....all that. I feel different. It just feels as if there has been some kind of shift in my mental thinking. I'm ready again.

This may have something to do with this perceived change in my thinking. I don't know...but here it is. Last night I was layign in bed and I went to pick up a book to read. I went to grab an easy reading fiction...but instead grabbed the book by Bob Harper. I just couldn't wait to get this book a while back....so I rushed out and got it. I read a bit ( a very little bit) and then it kinda got shoved aside and 'forgotten'. Well, I started reading it last night. It just all popped out at me. It talked about self confidence. It talked about the fact that we shouldn't be relying on the approval of others. We shouldn't be putting ourselves down and ignoring compliments. It just hit me...that was me. Why do i not accept compliments...I've done an incredible job on my own transformation. AND when the heck have I really started to care about what others think of me...if they don't like me for me...then who the heck cares! That has ALWAYS been my mantra. What caused it to change in the first place!

The other thing....setting realistic goals. Yes, I only have 20 pounds to go until I get to the weight watcher approved (ok, it's based on BMI) weight. And that is my next big goal. BUT, I need to set small mini goals for myself. And realistic about them! My first mini goal.....push past this 180 pound barrier and get into the 170's. Solidly into the 170's...not just a temporary dip into the 170's waters! That's less than 10 pounds....I think my official weight watchers weigh in on Tuesday night was 186 and some odd ounces. So I'm talking about 6-7 pounds. That is sooooo doable! 6-7 pounds in the grand scheme of things. Looking back at where I've come from....small beans! Yes, it's gonna be hard....but I can totally do it!

So...here's my mini goals that I'm setting for myself ...and the order that I need to work to reach them!
* Get ouf of the 180's! that is roughly 7 pounds to lose.

* From there I'm only going to aim for roughly 5 pound increments.....So therefore, I'l be aiming for 175.

*My next goal will be 169 pounds. Get me out of the 170's and into the 160's

*This will make my next goal 164! Which is my weight watchers goal weight!

*Immediately upon reaching my goal weight, i want to push onward and get a little wiggle room between myself and that goal weight.....so that next goal will be small......simply 2-3 pounds. Gaining any ounce between that goal weight and my weight.

*After i reach the weight watchers goal....I want to focus on maintaining that....and at that time I will reevaluate my body to see if my body needs to go to my mental goal of 150. I'm thinking yeah...but I will objectively look at myself at that point. :-)

* LIFETIME status at weight watchers!

Lets see....rewards for reaching these goals. Well, At 164...my weight watchers goal I am getting a new car stereo. It's actually already purchased. BUT, I won't let Todd put it in before I make my goal. And let me tell you...that would TOTALLY suck when it comes time to drive to Indiana for our vacation (and Julies wedding). I imagine Todd would be growling on that one!

For getting solidly into the 170's. Todd and I will take a day trip somewhere. I've been wanting to go back to the holocaust museum (todd's never been there) and Todd has been wanting to go to the Smithsonian...Air and Space in particular. (when I lived down in the metro area, we tried to go...but the part he was particularly interested in was closed for renovations). So that will be an option for our day trip.

I'll work on the rest of the goals as I get closer to them! I'll know then if I 'need' something ...or just a need to get away...

Refocused...regenerized....ready to roll!