My story

Ok, let me tell you a little story! This morning I went to the bathroom. I did my business and like normal I stripped down, and jumped on the scales. I looked down in fear and trepidation. What I saw made me jump off (throw back on my clothes..which is actually my normal routine....because then I head to eat breakfast and exercise) and run across the hallway. I got to the door...and turned the handle to open the door.....the knob turned...so me, being in the state I was in....started to run through the door by pushing on it as soon as I felt the knob turn. Well....let me tell you...the door knob had turned...but the door hadn't unlatched! My face flew up against the door....my glasses got knocked off.....I was smashed up there flatter than a pancake! What a spectacle I made! It HURT! SO I finally get the door open and Todd comes running. I didn't know what to tell him first...that I hurt myself running into the door (he heard the crash) or the fact that for the first time since I was like a young teenager (YOUNG) that I saw these two numbers as my first numbers....18! I was 189.8!!!!! WOOO HOOOOO!!!! Nope...that's the home scales..so it's not official. BUT how exciting to actually see the numbers!!!

Oh come on!

The frustration and disappointment is the absolute worst thing about weight loss....it is so demoralizing! I'm struggling with that today. We rode for more than 2 hours yesterday...yet the scales are showing me up a half of a pound! What's up with that???? So I"m really fighting to keep myself from throwing my hands up in the air and saying "screw this all" and running to the kitchen to make a big batch of cookies...and eating all the dough before they are even made! Actually today it's the exercise. I'm still committed to eating right...but I'm fighting exercise. ARRRGGHHH! My body REALLY doesn't want to move into the 180's!!!!!
Last night we (the bank people and I) Volunteered to help out at the school for parent night. It was interesting. On one hand, I missed the teaching profession. But on the other hand, I saw the out of control kids...that were not being discliplined by their parents...and I as like....wow, I'm so glad that I don't teach anymore! So it was an interesting night for me! Torn between two feelings and emotions.

I got up and had breakfast...and then I went ahead and cut up and cleaned some fruit that I bought yesterday. Interesting. I used to buy fruit and end up throwing it away a week later. Now, I buy it on Sunday...and it's gone by Wednesday! Gone as in eaten...NOT thrown away. It's getting harder and harder to keep fruit in the house! :-) But I also made a pasta salad......finished loading the dishwasher and started that. Oh yeah, and went on an ant hunt..yeah, the came back yesterday! I've seen one or two (that I promptly kill) over the last few weeks...but nothing major. UNTIL TODAY! ARRGGGHHH! And there were some big ones! (ok, yes, I'm trying to delay exercise!...can't we talk longer???????!)

Ride

Todd and I went out and rode our bikes for a couple hours today. I can honestly say that I truely enjoy riding my bike. It is one exercise that I desire to do. I'm not saying that I don't like the other stuff that I do...but that's exercise....bike riding is fun! :-) Felt good to work my muscles for a long period! The shorter rides are nice, but those long rides just really feel liberating! We were up in the Oldtown area of the canal. It is neat to enjoy the difference between the western section of the canal in comparison to our middle section...or even the eastern section. We were so tickled to see a couple deer on the towpath, bunches of turtles, bird....Oh and a blue heron..up close (two actually). We saw lots of evidence of beavers...and we saw their dam. Just a wonderful time out in nature!

Mixed feelings?

I have mixed feelings about my weigh in. I made it to 190.8. That's a loss of 1.4 pounds like I mentioned. Saddened because I didn't make my 180's goal. BUT....tickled because I didn't make my goal ......that means I get to keep that extra point for one more week! (I'll go down a point when I hit the 180's!). Ok, so I'm not tickled...I would have gladly dropped the point..because it means I'm getting closer! But it does bear to thought that you get so tickled because you drop a pound or two...but then you sit back and almost shriek because you lose that extra point! But you know...the program works!
The support of the weight watchers meetings is actually the really incredible part for me! I really miss my cohorts when I don't get to attend! It is important to me for my weight loss!!!

Scales suck!

Scales suck! I so try to not dwell on the scales and what they tell me everyday. Yes, I know...they say not to weigh every day. I'm obsess more if I don't...haa haa haa. Ok, after reading that, it seems like the scales were really 'mean' to me today. Nope....it was a good day on the scales. But I'm still frustrated at how this week has been up and down on the scales...yo-yoing with this same pound! I really do think the humidity is a factor in it all!

Todd and I took a nice walk today. It's my off day from organized exercise, so a walk is a nice refreshing thing to do! After we walked, I came home and organized my desk. I updated the business books and filed some papers and some mail that I feel that I should save, as it gives me permission to get rid of a bike that has been at my house for age...the letter finally responds to numerous requests to pick up the thing. So I feel I should keep it to protect myself once I get rid of the bike as the previous owner is no longer in contact with us.

Speaking of that.....I know I've written a lot about our society and how that affects our weight and the national obesity problem. (we are programmed that social events are centered around food....we are rewarded with food our workplaces, etc etc etc). This bike reminds me that it's not just social. In some cases it's family that helps spur on the problem. This bike is heavy as sin. It is definitely NOT made with the lightweight materials that are available. When the heaviness was mentioned, this friend she said that her dad wanted to buy a heavy sturdy bike since she was a hefty girl. I remember that bothering me at the time...and that was before I started this journey to living healthy! It made me realize how much comments like that can undermine people and in essence make them 'live up to' the expectations. (in that case being a 'big' girl') Simple comments like can damage us just as much as a big mac at mcdonalds (ick...)

Yes, the ick is for a reason. Todd and I chose to cut back on (in essence give up) fast food a couple years ago, even before we started trying to live a healthier life. I can honestly say that I've eaten fast food maybe once or twice in the last few years! There are only a few things that I miss. McDonalds apple pies, Arby's Roast beef, uhhhhmmmm....Yeah, that's all I miss!

I finished mowing yesterday! 5.5 hours of mowing in three days. Ouch. Not so bad if I was on a riding mower and if the heat wouldn't have been so miserably terrible! (at least on Sunday and Monday it wasn't as bad!)

Those lying sack of doo doo scales!

Ok, for some reason, the scales have been yo-yoing this week! It's driving me NUTS! I dont know from one day to the next what the scales will say! I've been good all week....worked out really good. So the scales should be friendly. HOWEVER,......oh heck!

I did stumble upon this webpage that has a cool article...which I'll copy and paste! I've got to remember this!


Why The Scale Lies
by Renee Cloe,ACE Certified Personal Trainer
We’ve been told over an over again that daily weighing is unnecessary, yet many of us can’t resist peeking at that number every morning. If you just can’t bring yourself to toss the scale in the trash, you should definitely familiarize yourself with the factors that influence it’s readings. From water retention to glycogen storage and changes in lean body mass, daily weight fluctuations are normal. They are not indicators of your success or failure. Once you understand how these mechanisms work, you can free yourself from the daily battle with the bathroom scale.
Water makes up about 60% of total body mass. Normal fluctuations in the body’s water content can send scale-watchers into a tailspin if they don’t understand what’s happening. Two factors influencing water retention are water consumption and salt intake. Strange as it sounds, the less water you drink, the more of it your body retains. If you are even slightly dehydrated your body will hang onto it’s water supplies with a vengeance, possibly causing the number on the scale to inch upward. The solution is to drink plenty of water.
Excess salt (sodium) can also play a big role in water retention. A single teaspoon of salt contains over 2,000 mg of sodium. Generally, we should only eat between 1,000 and 3,000 mg of sodium a day, so it’s easy to go overboard. Sodium is a sneaky substance. You would expect it to be most highly concentrated in salty chips, nuts, and crackers. However, a food doesn’t have to taste salty to be loaded with sodium. A half cup of instant pudding actually contains nearly four times as much sodium as an ounce of salted nuts, 460 mg in the pudding versus 123 mg in the nuts. The more highly processed a food is, the more likely it is to have a high sodium content. That’s why, when it comes to eating, it’s wise to stick mainly to the basics: fruits, vegetables, lean meat, beans, and whole grains. Be sure to read the labels on canned foods, boxed mixes, and frozen dinners.
Women may also retain several pounds of water prior to menstruation. This is very common and the weight will likely disappear as quickly as it arrives. Pre-menstrual water-weight gain can be minimized by drinking plenty of water, maintaining an exercise program, and keeping high-sodium processed foods to a minimum.
Another factor that can influence the scale is glycogen. Think of glycogen as a fuel tank full of stored carbohydrate. Some glycogen is stored in the liver and some is stored the muscles themselves. This energy reserve weighs more than a pound and it’s packaged with 3-4 pounds of water when it’s stored. Your glycogen supply will shrink during the day if you fail to take in enough carbohydrates. As the glycogen supply shrinks you will experience a small imperceptible increase in appetite and your body will restore this fuel reserve along with it’s associated water. It’s normal to experience glycogen and water weight shifts of up to 2 pounds per day even with no changes in your calorie intake or activity level. These fluctuations have nothing to do with fat loss, although they can make for some unnecessarily dramatic weigh-ins if you’re prone to obsessing over the number on the scale.
Otherwise rational people also tend to forget about the actual weight of the food they eat. For this reason, it’s wise to weigh yourself first thing in the morning before you’ve had anything to eat or drink. Swallowing a bunch of food before you step on the scale is no different than putting a bunch of rocks in your pocket. The 5 pounds that you gain right after a huge dinner is not fat. It’s the actual weight of everything you’ve had to eat and drink. The added weight of the meal will be gone several hours later when you’ve finished digesting it.
Exercise physiologists tell us that in order to store one pound of fat, you need to eat 3,500 calories more than your body is able to burn. In other words, to actually store the above dinner as 5 pounds of fat, it would have to contain a whopping 17,500 calories. This is not likely, in fact it’s not humanly possible. So when the scale goes up 3 or 4 pounds overnight, rest easy, it’s likely to be water, glycogen, and the weight of your dinner. Keep in mind that the 3,500 calorie rule works in reverse also. In order to lose one pound of fat you need to burn 3,500 calories more than you take in. Generally, it’s only possible to lose 1-2 pounds of fat per week. When you follow a very low calorie diet that causes your weight to drop 10 pounds in 7 days, it’s physically impossible for all of that to be fat. What you’re really losing is water, glycogen, and muscle.
This brings us to the scale’s sneakiest attribute. It doesn’t just weigh fat. It weighs muscle, bone, water, internal organs and all. When you lose "weight," that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve lost fat. In fact, the scale has no way of telling you what you’ve lost (or gained). Losing muscle is nothing to celebrate. Muscle is a metabolically active tissue. The more muscle you have the more calories your body burns, even when you’re just sitting around. That’s one reason why a fit, active person is able to eat considerably more food than the dieter who is unwittingly destroying muscle tissue.
Robin Landis, author of "Body Fueling," compares fat and muscles to feathers and gold. One pound of fat is like a big fluffy, lumpy bunch of feathers, and one pound of muscle is small and valuable like a piece of gold. Obviously, you want to lose the dumpy, bulky feathers and keep the sleek beautiful gold. The problem with the scale is that it doesn’t differentiate between the two. It can’t tell you how much of your total body weight is lean tissue and how much is fat. There are several other measuring techniques that can accomplish this, although they vary in convenience, accuracy, and cost. Skin-fold calipers pinch and measure fat folds at various locations on the body, hydrostatic (or underwater) weighing involves exhaling all of the air from your lungs before being lowered into a tank of water, and bioelectrical impedance measures the degree to which your body fat impedes a mild electrical current.
If the thought of being pinched, dunked, or gently zapped just doesn’t appeal to you, don’t worry. The best measurement tool of all turns out to be your very own eyes. How do you look? How do you feel? How do your clothes fit? Are your rings looser? Do your muscles feel firmer? These are the true measurements of success. If you are exercising and eating right, don’t be discouraged by a small gain on the scale. Fluctuations are perfectly normal. Expect them to happen and take them in stride. It’s a matter of mind over scale. (http://www.primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/library/weight/scale.htm)

Exercise, food and hail!

Well, I made if for about an hour yesterday in the heat! IT was darn tootin' hot out there! After an hour of pushing the mower in the early afternoon heat, I started to feel sick. YES, I was drinking lots. Since I have a history of passing out and getting sick from the sun/heat, as soon as I started to feel REALLY hot, I packed it up and came home. I was whipped the rest of the day!

Last night we went to Longhorn. That's getting to be a Saturday evening thing for us. IN the last few months, it seems like we end up there most Saturday evenings. :-) I usually get the soup and salad! Sometimes I get/add a sweet potato or their brandied apples though...they are good also!

I've already worked out this morning! Woo hooo! I may try to go out and mow another hour or so (or if by some miracle it's not so hot, then finish it up....about 3 hours left). But, I heard that it was supposed to rain today.

Speaking of rain...last night we had a storm. HAIL! Yep, it hailed. The pieces of hail were about an inch in diameter. I haven't seen hail in ages! That brought a thought to my mind....wouldn't it be terrible to be out on your bike with no cover...and in a hail storm?????

Salt Attack!

I got on the scales this morning and had a fit....up 1.2 pounds! I didn't eat poorly! I was flippin' out....all down in the dumps. I worked out HARD yesterday...stayed right at my points level and everything. THEN I thought about something...SALT. I had more salt last night then I normally do. So I'm assuming that salt is the culprit! OK, I"m hoping! I did drink more than my alloted water yesterday though....but most of it was before I ate dinner (aka salt city!)

Mom was talking to me the other day (last weekend actually) and we were talking about the fact that I blog. She was almost appalled that I 'journal' online. She was like, "ANYONE can read that" I just laughed and answered, "What do I have to hide". It's the truth....what do I have to hide. Not a thing.

I'm planning on mowing after work today. THat should take about 4 hours....yep, with a push mower. For that reason, I didn't get up and exercise. OK, ok, ok...I'll be honest...I didn't want to wake up early! I'm going to try to do a light workout this evening! :-)

Low numbers are good!

The scales were friendly this morning. However, I was expecting them to be friendly as the 'ick' is on it's way out. (thank heavens). They are showing me back to my lowest ever weight at 190.6 (ok, I only left that weight because of TOM) I'm happy with that, obviously.

I've been watching...and it's interesting....thin people actually eat food differently. Where as I could polish off a piece of cheesecake in one sitting and sit there wishing for more....a thin person has the control to only eat a few bites..enough to feel satisfied. Kinda interesting!

Had another really good workout this morning. Step aerobics....followed by 20 minutes of weights. I got done, took my shower and Todd and I ended up going out for about 45 minutes to an hour for a hike. Felt good. :-)

A few days ago, I decided to really kick up my workouts a notch! I'm so very pleased. Yeah, my abs are so for kicking up the ab section of my workout. BUT overall, it is a great feeling of satisfaction to know that I perservered and did it, and knowing the results that I'll show for it! :-)

I'm hoping to be at my goal by December. That would be about 40 pounds to get to my 'mental' goal of 150. That's 40 pounds in 4 months. Doable? Yeah....BUT, that's not exactly the healthy recommended 2 pounds a week...that's a tad bit more than the recommended weekly weight loss. NOW....my weight watchers goal....for me to get to lifetime is only roughly 30 pounds away. THAT is my realistic goal! :-) But, as I've stated before...putting a time label on this process is a bad thing to do. Slow and steady wins the race in the long run. It's going slow, but I'm learning how to daily adjust and live my life. Tools that I'll need in order to maintain my goal weight! If I did this fast, then I wouldn't have learned all these lessons along the way!

Weigh in

I gained .4 this week. I'm not to overly concerned about it though as TOM arrived right in time for my weigh in! So it was not surprising or shocking at all. I've found that my weight at this point can flucuate up to 2 pounds each month at this time.

On the flip side...I went out with mom and dad today. Tried to order something relatively healthy. Calculated that I used about 12 points. I didn't have time to check my guess work and therefore ate a dinner based on the expenditure of my lunch eating. (Todd and I ate out tonight). Well, came home and looked up the site for Gandolfo's (where we ate lunch). Wow...I only at 8.5 points! WOo hooo! That puts me in a much better position!

Worked our really hard this morning! Did step aerobics and then some strength training. My abs are a bit sore now...but, that's a good feeling. :-)

What a way to ruin my appetite!

Ok, I have no desire at all to eat right now! A cat just decided to jump up on my desk....with a dingleberry flapping in the wind. I had to wipe poor Jodi's butt.....ewww! Poor cat. POOR ME!

I've been doing very good this week! I have been able to curb those food desires and channel them into healthy things! I've done really well.

Now, for the bad news. Well, this morning I got on the scales and the pre-ick bloat/water retention is here! I'm not calling this next weigh in a loss (haa haa haa...that would actually mean it would be a gain!) though! I'm still working just as hard to make it a good week at my official weigh in!

Had a weigh watcher bagel today with some of my homemade flavored cream cheese (yummy...and wooo hooo, healthier than the whipped flavors in the store, which are mainly in the full fat version!). The bagel wasn't too bad....it wasn't quite the same as a Panera Bread Bagel...but then what do you expect for the points! :-)

Breakfast: Weight watcher Bagel with ff cream cheese
Lunch: Salad with lite dressing (lettuce, carrots, onions, green peppers, cucumbers, and homemade croutons...which are like a half of point...!!!! oh yes, and my lite laughing cow cheese!), strawberries and some grapes! YUMMY!
For dinner I am planning on trying a new recipe. It sounds good....I'll have to try it though before I pass judgement!

Plan B

Yes, we had to utilize plan b for our day. Plan A was to go to the western section of the C&O canal and bike for a few hours. Well, I woke up and mosied to the bathroom. On the way there I noticed that it was awful dark outside. When I left the bathroom Todd broke the news to me by showing me the weather map on the internet. It wasn't looking good at all! I bit back my disappointment and we packed our gym bags. Yes, we went to the gym and had a nice workout! I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not bummed out that I didn't get to go for the ride that I was looking forward to all week...but I'm happy that I didn't let it ruin my workout plans!

BUT the biggest victory of day. We went to the Mountain Gate restaurant. I got the buffet, which in itself is pretty risky. :-) However, I was able to do very good! VERY good in fact! I felt satisfied and I didn't overeat at all! The only splurge I had was about two small bites of mac-n-cheese. Oh yummm it tasted so good. And ironically, because I only had the two bites, I appreciated it all that much more! I think before I would get a big pile of it...and the first bite or two would be so wonderful that I would keep eating..until I was so stuffed full..that I no longer enjoyed it as much! I totally ignored the bad desserts and opted for fruit and some fat free pudding instead. Quite tasty! :-)

Last night, went into the icecream shop here in town and I saw the receptionist from my weight watchers meeting. She laughed when she saw me! BUT, I knew I only had points for a kiddie fat free yogurt...so that's what I got. A kiddie. AND even though I really wanted the chocolate...that is not fat free. I didn't have the extra point to ante up for it! I actually did slip up momentarily though. I ordered a small size (which is two scoops.....so I asked for a split of peach and strawberry). BUT right as she started dipping it up, I came back to my senses and switched it back to a kiddie size...strawberry! Does that count as a fuit/vegetable serving??? haa haa haa. Ok, I had already eaten all my fruits and veggies for the day. So the thought didn't even cross my mind until right now! And no...I'm not lacking today either.....I ate a big lettucy salad and lots of veggies/fruit for lunch (all veggies except for the low cal/fat salad dressing, the pudding, and those two bites of mac-n-cheese.....oh and one bite of Todd's roasted turkey) It tell you...I did good!

The scales were REALLY friendly this morning! My lowest yet...EVER!

I'm actually feeling quite good! I'm satisfied with what I'm eating. Satisfied on two counts. One, I'm physically satisfied. I'm not hungry and I feel good when I'm done eating. NUmber two, I'm satisfied with how I'm doing. I did jump on the scales the other day....but as I previously stated, I know why. TOOO many carbs. But the number is dropping. Yes I dread the weeks where I show a gain...and I so don't want a gain...I have had too many of those recently while on this stupic plateau! And now that I've had pretty much a month of losses, I want to keep it that way! Crossing my fingers that TOM doesn't get in the way of the scales!

It's actually amazing. I've changed my eating habits so greatly over the last year or so. But, I've never really experienced massive hunger during this journey. I've never been weak from hungry or just ravanous! It is a true testament that this path that I'm taking is one that can be utilized for life, and not just one that will be there while I lose the weight and no longer! I think if I was hungry all the time, then I would be doing something wrong!

While I haven't been bad. I've watched everything and counted everything. However, I've been eating heavier meals that I should. Way more carbs than I should have. And yes, I know that carbs effect my weight loss efforts! I've also used about one or two flex points each day...which also effects my efforts, becasue I don't lose if I use too many flex points! Go figure. It would have to be me that has that terrible thing! The only good fact!

I woke up this morning and just didn't have the energy to exercise. At 5 my legs just felt funny, heavy and not quite achy...but weird! OH well! Todd said he wants to do DDR with me again tonight. The only problem with that....he only does it for 10 minutes and then he's done....and when he leaves my motivation to continue leaves also! AND I need to do more than 10 minutes...I should be doing 40 minutes at least! Last night I was only able to go 10-15 (ok, ten) minutes past when he quit!!! BAD BAD BAD!

Oh well! I've planned out what I'm eating today..I'm trying to stay well under my points! Because I know that after a few days of eating heavily, a low points day (right now I'm planning on leaving at least 4 points leftover...and I may try to leave more!) will help me eradicate the 1-2 pounds that I'm up since TUESDAY!!!!!

A friend made a comment about being obese, "we eat everything in excess, even stuff we don't really like." How true, how true! I think that is one of the battles that I need to win and train myself to win on a regular basis (if possible). Basically, 'if it's not something that tastes really good, don't eat it!'. I've often laughed and felt like I'm a person that is afraid of going hungry. Because I eat and eat and eat....no matter if I like it...or if I'm full. I've never gone hungry, so it can't be something like that. ANd my parents weren't the type to make us eat everything on our plate. So I know it didn't come from something that was ingrained in my head as a child or something. I also know that I'll order big...and keep eating because I have this feeling sometimes of "it's soooo goood, I don't want to waste it!" When I'm lucky enough to recognize what I'm doing, I try to tell myself, "this is not a once in a lifetime meal.....I can make it again, or order it again the next time we come to this restaurant!"

We had some new people at my meeting last night. (oh yes!! HOW could I forget.....I lost 2.4 pounds! That puts me at 50.8 total for weight watchers!!!! AND 110 and some ounces for total!!!) Anyway, something came up about one of the guys at out at a buffet and he had brussel sprouts. The new lady turned up her nose...I laughed becuase I"m in agreement. Well, the weight watcher leader used it as a segue to remind us about the zero point foods. I started laughing......I only like two or three foods off that list! (Sauerkraut, green beans are good. SOMETIMES, I can do raw carrots and broccoli......salads are ok, ONLY if they have lots of dressing and cheese on them...which negates the zero point thing) The newer people were all sitting there with their jaws dropped, because we had just celebrated my 50/110 pound loss (yes, my weight watcher leader celebrates both numbers....although I only get awards for the weight watcher number). I looked at them and said, "I'm a testament to the fact that you don't have to eat only healthy foods, you just have to make better choices and eat less when you make that choice". And that really is what it's about! I KNOW I could eat a donut...but then I'd use up all my points and I wouldn't be able to eat the rest of the day! That's not a good choice for me! (nor a healthy one!) One girl was like, "what about pizza" I answered honestly. I eat pizza. (real restaurant purchased pizza) I just don't do it every other day or even once a week! ANd when I do have pizza, I manage. I laughed and told them that the other week I ate pizza and still lost a pound and a half. One guy jumped in and said, Oh for me it's Chinese. I laughed even harder...becuase the night after we had Pizza, we ate Chinese!

Well, I haven't done too badly this week. I did have a few days where I dipped into my flex points. That always worries me though, because I know that I don't lose as well when I use them. But, so far so good. This morning the scales had me at my lowest weight ever (I reached it once about a week or so ago and then jumped right back up). So, I'm hoping that I stay there! If I do, and the scales at my meeting weigh my pretty close, then i will be at my 50 pound for my meetings mark (110 total).

Yesterday Todd and I went out on our bikes together. Feels good! We did about an hour and went about 10 miles. Today we did about an hour and a half and did 15 miles! So I know that that will help greatly! I also have to do some canning tonight..so I'll be on my feet and moving more than normal tonight! :-) (tomatoes again!)

I was pleasantly surprised. At the beginning of the summer I went through my "not quite there" drawer of clothes! I took out one or two things that i could wear, looked longingly at the other things and then shut the drawer. Well, this summer I haven't really lost. BUt the other day I decided to open the drawer and see what was shakin'. I can now wear about 90% of the stuff that was in the drawer! AMAZING.....I didn't lose that much weight...only about 3 pounds when it's all said and done! BUT, I'm able to wear the stuff! So, at least I'm able to see some progress! :-)

Weigh in

Down 1 1/2 pound! I'm disgusted because according to my home scales, it should have been more! HOWEVER, I'm ok with it! A pound and a half is still a good week! If I can manage that next week, I'll get my 50 pound magnet AND that will put me at 110 pounds lost total! That's pretty darn good!

I remain super motivated! I actually woke up at 5:30 this morning and was out on my bike by 5:50! I rode for about 45 minutes to an hour. Came in, showered, got ready for work and was here by 7:45. I feel good that that is out of the way. I won't be tempted to skip it tonight...or forced to with all the canning that I have to do this afternoon. Yes, I've got a good bit of canning to do this afternoon. So I will be active all afternoon! That's a good thing! :-) Todd goes to work at 8PM...so have to be done in the kitchen by then...and then I'll just relax the rest of the evening! :-)

I ate my cereal for breakfast. For lunch I'll probably have fruit and a sandwich. For dinner we are having chicken (on the grill) corn (yep, I'm doing corn today as one of the things we picked out of the garden) and probably sweet potatoes (grilled).

wow

It really is amazing what you can lose if you put your mind to it. As of yesterday morning according to my home scales, I was down more than 4 pounds! I hit the lowest weight I have seen yet (on my home scales). I'm hoping to hold that number for my weigh in tomorrow. HOWEVER, I forgot to weigh in this morning so I'm a bit nervous about what my weight was today! I'm trying not to stress about it though!

I've been doing quite well with the exercise. I didn't exercise on Saturday....time got away from me and I when I remembered, I realized that I didn't have enough time to do anything before we left the house...and we didn't get back until really late. BUT 5 of the last 6 days isn't a bad track record with exercise! I know for me and my recent track history...i'm going to have to be really really tight with what I'm doing...becuase i know that I can hold together my willpower for about a week...and then it tends to go sour! That is my problem. I get it together one week...do really good and then the next week gain it back! That's not cool!!!

Looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow night. As of last week I was exactly 3 pounds from my 50 pounds. I'm hoping that i can knock that out this week! Then next week get into the 180's! Either way...i'm going to get there!

Another day down. We did eat out and had Chinese tonight. I had Empress CHicken...not the greatest choice...but what I was craving! I had a ton of points though so I should be ok.

I went for my bike ride yesterday after work. I was going to go for one today but it was 102 degrees outside so I decided to skip it. Instead I did Dance Dance Revolution after we got home from dinner. I feel good about that! We are hoping to go for a walk or bike tomorrow morning before it gets really hot out!

Epiphany

Yes, I had an epiphany last night at my weight watcher meeting. It wasn't anything the leader said. It wasn't even anything relating to the topic of last nights meeting. It was from something that one of my friends/fellow weight watcher said while we were waiting for the meeting. Typical of our group of people that attend my meeting, as we all arrive we share the happenings of the previous week and how we did weight wise. The gal that usually sits beside me had maintained and even though she wasn't upset that she maintained (she realizes that anything other than a gain is a success) she was disgusted because she is about one pound away from being at goal! She looked at me and said, "I'm so tired of paying....if I can just get to my goal I won't have to pay anymore." One of the other gals then did make goal last night. i also realized that next week will mark one year of weight watchers meetings. All of a sudden it hit me. I've piddled around these last SIX, yes SIX months. Oh, I've been here half heartedly one week and then throwing caution to the wind the next week. But it's been about six months that I've been only half heartedly following the plan. I've paid for six months of meetings and what did I do with it? I piddled around! Six months.....that is 24 weeks! Using the 2 pounds per week (which is what I had been previously losing on average) that would have put me at 58 pounds! That is a far cry from the 5 pounds that I did lose in reality! Honestly, that makes me want to cry....because 58 pounds is actually even more than I need to lose to be at my weight watchers goal weight........and even more than I need to lose to be at my personal goal weight! I could have been there already if I had focused my attention and energy! I could have been sitting in those meetings for free as a lifetime member!

No more playing around. I'm either in this 100% or not at all! I refuse to waste my time, focus, energy and yes money on something that I'm not 100% behind! AND, I feel rejuvenated and ready to be on the lose weight bandwagon 100%! Hopefully in 6 months I'll be at goal!