Sunday, June 29, 2025

A New Start to a New me

 It has been six months since I last worked.   Six long months.   That is six months of worry about the future.  That is six months of worrying about finances.  But that is also six months of a very relaxed lifestyle and lets face it kinda like vacation!   But that is coming to an end.  I start my new job this week.  It's happening.  6 months to the day that I last worked.   LITERALLY, I last worked the last day of December and I will start working on the last day of June.  

I am excited.  I am sad.  I am confident.  I am nervous. Ask me at any given moment and you will get a different answer. 

Excitement underlies everything because I really am excited to start working again.   If I look back at all of the jobs that I have held in the past my banking job holds the place as my all time favorite job.  So it is with excitement that I embark upon another banking job.  It is with excitement that I end this six months of stress about work and finances.  It is with excitement that I look forward to meeting new coworkers and forging new friendships.  I am mostly excited.

There is however a sense of sadness.  I have always said that I could very easily be a lady of leisure and not work.  The last six months proved that to me.  I enjoyed being off work.  I have enjoyed the freedom of being able to do things throughout the week.  It was a blessing that I had the time to help finish readying my mom's house to put on the market.  It was a blessing that I had the time to work in the yard and get some larger projects done.  It was even a blessing that I had the time while I was off to complete the 75 hard challenge.  (How crazy to think that when I started that challenge in January that I assumed that I would be back to work before the challenge finished....yet here I am, three months after finishing it and just finally going back to work.)  Sadly, I wasn't working so many of the things that I would have loved to do didn't get done because I didn't want to spend the money.  But I still enjoyed every second. (well maybe not the week I had the stomach bug....I didn't enjoy that!)   I enjoyed being off work and I am utterly grateful for the opportunity to have that time off, but ending 

As with any new job I am nervous.  It's nerve wracking to change.  It fills me with nerves to start a new job.  (And I just realized that this blog has seen me through 3 jobs...this will be the fourth......seems like a lot but it has been 19 years that I've been writing!)   But I am confident that I really am the right person for the job......and I know that the nerves will settle as I go through training and eventually get to the branch that I will be working.  

I am using the beginning of this new job as a new beginning for everything.  I am starting this job at the halfway mark of the year.  I also just saw those pictures of myself when I was away on my Girls weekend and I said enough is enough.   So this new job....the new month...the new me starts now.    


 

Friday, June 27, 2025

Eye Opening

 My mini vacation was so much fun.  I laughed and we had a great time.   But there were three very real sobering truths that I had to face.   Luckily I was with a good friend who didn't let me get sucked down into the pits as I discovered these sobering truths.

The first truth was pictures.  I typically do anything I can to avoid being in a picture.  Don't get me wrong, I love photographs.  But I enjoy being behind the camera.  But me in the picture....are you crazy?  Yet Linda wanted pictures of the two of us.  She wanted pictures of herself at certain landmarks that we visited and yes, she wanted pictures of me at the same place.  I had my picture taken more times last weekend than I have had in the last years.   OK, maybe I exaggerate but it was a whole bunch! 


 Let me tell you, there were tons of pictures of me.  And let me be very clear.......I didn't like what I saw in the pictures.    I wasn't living under a log, I know that I am overweight.   I know that I had gained a significant amount of weight in the last year.  I knew it....in my head.   But these pictures made me SEE it with my eyes. How in the world did I not see this?????

The second thing was my fitness level.  I did the 75 hard back earlier this year and I started to get myself in line.  I was doing great until I got the flu....I had just finished the 75 hard and getting sick caused me to lose my momentum.  I stopped exercising when I was sick and when I was well enough I never picked it back up.   Before I got sick I NEVER turned on the tv during the day.  When I was recovering from the stomach virus I started watching TV.  I have watched TV almost if not every day since then.  Bad habits.    This past weekend I had to face the truth that the 'good' that I had done for myself with the 75 hard had started to wash away in the last 3 months of inactivity.  I was struggling to breathe when we walked up inclines.  It was ugly!  (Luckily for me....unluckily for her, my friend was also struggling so we were evenly matched....but that's no excuse.)    I fought hard during the 75 hard to strengthen my fitness and I let it all fall away. How sad is that?

The other truth was that there were activities that I couldn't participate in because of my weight.   I have ALWAYS wanted to do the Bridge Walk.  Linda wanted to do it....but it turns out that my waist was too big for the harness.  (Luckily for me I read the small print online so I wasn't embarrassed to get there and be turned away).  Likewise, the canopy/zipline tour......I exceeded the weight limit.   NOT cool, I only exceeded the weight limit and the waist size by small amounts, but regardless, my weight limited me!   

As sobering as the truths are, what makes me me is what I chose to do with the information.   Will I settle back on the couch and allow another three months to pass with no exercise and more weight gained?  Or will I say enough is enough and change the trajectory that I have been on.

I am choosing to change the trajectory.   I have tracked my food every day thus far this week. I'm not aiming for perfection with my food.  Right now I am tracking every bite.  I know for me when I track I tend to automatically clean up my eating habits....so right now I'm just tracking.    I have also gotten some exercise in each day.   I'm not aiming for two or three hours.  I"m not even aiming for 1 hour. I'm aiming for at least 20 minutes.  I am not making earth shattering changes right now. But I am making changes that will carry me through a weight loss journey.    I am making changes that can help me get this weight off once and for all!  So look close at the picture from my recent weekend because I want it to be the last you see of me at that weight!

 

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Just What the Doctor Ordered

 This past weekend I experienced 'just what the doctor ordered'.  In my last post I talked about the last few years and how it has been really difficult on me emotionally and how it has really drug me down. I am hoping my new job that I start next week is the turning point and I am moving forward with that belief.  But I decided to kick  off this 'new era' with a bang.  I went on a girls weekend! (OK, the plans were made before I got this job.....at that time it was planned as a pick me up, it then turned into a celebration!)

It was about 4.5 years ago when I met Linda.  I was leading a training class of new hires for the team that I worked on.  We talked a bit on breaks and at the end of the work days during the training and I recognized immediately that we meshed as humans and our friendship was born.  When the training class was over our managers assigned Linda to the region that I was responsible for and I couldn't have been happier to work more closely with her and the friendship quickly segued to phone calls and texts on our own time.  For four years we have talked hours upon hours on the phone , worked virtually side by side and got laid off together.  However, we never met in person as she lives in Indiana and I am in Pennsylvania.  Finally, this past weekend we got to meet each other face to face on our own girls weekend........and it was a blast!

 We decided to go to New River Gorge as she had never been to West Virginia and I obviously love the New River Gorge area.  This has been evident over and over such as in  this post about my first trip when I clearly said "I will be back".  I also wrote this post about another visit.   Heck, I even got married there on yet another visit!  I couldn't wait!  Little did I know how much we would pack into our weekend!

We arrived on Friday mid afternoon.  I don't have many pictures from that day as it was a low key day.  We walked all around downtown and checked out the shops.  We went to the visitor center to give her the first glimpse of the gorge and the bridge.  We also stopped at a few shops to pick up a few things for Jason that I know he loves from the area.  It was low key but laden with laughter.

We were up early for our first full day.  The fog was hanging low so we headed straight to the visitor center to walk to the overlook on the Canyon Rim Trail.   Let me tell you, early in the morning is fabulous!  We didn't have to deal with the any crowds and of course the view was fabulous!

From there we headed to the abandoned town of Thurmond.  It doesn't matter how many times I go to this town, it never fails to charm!  What is the charm?  Is it the abundantly beautiful nature that surrounds the town?  Does the charm come from from the old buildings?  Does the fascination come from knowing that this abandoned town and the empty buildings were once a thriving town.  I don't know, but it charms me each and every time!    

After roaming around Thurmond we headed to Hawks Nest State Park.  While it is a great state park and we did enjoy our visit and the views, the main reason we were going was because that is where the Jet Boat Marina rides are.  Yes, we took a boat ride on the river!  It was awesome!  We went down to the dam and the whole way back up to the New River Gorge Bridge on the water.....on the only still water in that area.   
 
 We were so close, so we headed to Cathedral Falls after we were done at Hawks Nest.  Of course I had to go there, because that was where I got married!  This waterfall is absolutely gorgeous.  The water was flowing quite a bit more than when we got married.  Absolutely beautiful!
Our first full day was amazing but could we top it for our second full day?   Absolutely!   We again started early, but this time we had a bit of a drive before we reached our first destination.   For our first destination we decided to drive the hour to view the Sandstone Falls on the river. Sandstone Falls is also part of the New River Gorge National Park. On the drive to the falls we stopped to admire the beauty which was splendid and served as a prelude to the awesome views we got when we reached the waterfall.

 

We explored a bit in the town of Hinton and then decided to drive back to Beckley via a different route on the opposite side of the river.  We stopped at the Sandstone Falls Visitor center and then headed back to Beckley.   Once in Beckley we headed to the Exhibition Mine.  The highlight of this attraction is the tour into a coal mine.  The guides are ex-mine workers and are fabulous!   But even though the mine tour is the main attraction, the site also has a recreated mine camp so that visitors can walk through the buildings and see how people would live in a coal camp.   Nearby and also included is the homestead tour.  This is a recreated village that predated the coal camp village.   Also fascinating! 


 

It was so hot but we weren't done yet.  After we were done with the Beckley Exhibition Mine we headed to Grandview.  Grandview is another area within the National Park.  The main overlook at Grandview is ....well....grand.   The river bends and the overlook clearly displays the bend!   We stood there for a while and watched some rafters go down the river and navigate the rapids, but it was so stinkin' hot that it became a bit unbearable.  I actually said "I think the sun is roasting my internal organs".  Even with the heat, it was still worth it to see it!


 One might think that we were done for the day, but we were still going strong.  Just maybe not strong enough to deal with the heat for long periods of time.  What better than to go for a drive down the Fayette Station Road!  This is honestly a must do when you go to New River Gorge.  Jason and I do it at least once each visit and many times at least twice with each of us driving once so that the other person can enjoy the views also.  Since I had previously experienced it, I drove to allow Linda to have the full experience!  I still enjoyed it immensely!   

We had a lazy evening at are accommodations and the next morning we were up early and ready to head home.  I had one more thing to do though.  I had always seen the various locations for the restaurant Tudors Biscuit World and I had always wanted to go, but had never been there.  This visit I was determined to satisfy my curiosity.   So we headed out for breakfast before we said our goodbyes.   This is a West Virginia chain restaurant, although there appear to be a few locations in Ohio and a few in Kentucky.  It is basically a fast food restaurant...but they do serve it to you (at least at our location) and used baskets, real silverware and real cups....so a cross between sit down restaurant and fast food.  The food WAS good.  For being kinda like a fast food joint, it tasted fresh!  We sat and talked for a while after we finished our breakfast but we both had a 5 hour drive ahead of us. We said our goodbyes and headed out.

The weekend was just what I needed.  We laughed so hard that we cried......it's been a long time since I laughed that hard.   Even more important, it was the perfect start to my new happier less sadness era! (I am choosing to believe that!) 


Sunday, June 15, 2025

I'm Still Standing

 I'm still standing.  When I write that it does seem a little melodrmatic.  And maybe it is, there are peopel that have gone through a whole lot worse stuff than m.  I know that and I know how much wore it could be for me.  But regardless, I"m still standing.

 

The last month has been difficult for me......oh shucks, who am I kidding, the last three years have been difficult.   3.5 years ago we got married and life was grand.  We started looking for a house and we ended up buying a house.  Still grand.  But then life went belly up and what can best describe the last three years is sadness.   What should have been a happy time full of excitement turned into stressful and sad time...for three plus years.  But I'm still standing.

I was thinking about all the life events that have come my way since we moved in and I honestly can say that they have not been pleasant and tinged with sadness, stress, fear and heartache.  There hasn't been one happy life event since we bought the house.  Ok, we did celebrate some anniversaries and birthdays....but they were celebrated with no fanfare and were just normal days.  In comparison, I watched my mom suffer for almost two years after her stroke.  I watched her lose touch with reality and beg me to pray that she would die.   It was tough, emotionally and it spread me thin as I was trying to hold on to my responsibilities in my marriage and at our house.    In the midst of that Jason had a run in with an axe.   It left him injured and off of work.  So I spread myself thinner as I tended to his medical needs and as he was off work for about 5-6 months, I was even more stressed as I tried to make the finances work on a single income.  I also had the stress of  my medical issues that resulted in tests and doctors appointments as they diagnosed me and bandied about talk about "this test will check for cancer as what you have been diagnosed with if left unchecked like you had been frequently causes cancer."    Then the worst of all, my mom died.  (Honestly, it was a blessing because she was NOT going to get better and only continue to get worse....but I was still left without my mom.)  It was sad to clear out my parents house, and yes mom hadn't gotten rid of anything of dad's so we had everything to go through.  I ended up working on a team with a 'Karen' who was in a position of power.  She was horrible! She ridiculed and frequently told us how we were inept and ineffectual and how it was no wonder the team was falling apart since I had done such and such and believe me when I say that her abuse was over crazy things like me choosing 'file and then save as' versus just clicking the disk icon. (Heavens knows what would have happened had I chosen Contol -S.   But after such egregious actions as saving a document in her nu-preferred way  she would say things like "oh my word, I can't believe you don't even know how to save, you can't do anything right."  Is it any wonder that I wrote a post in May of 2023 titled confidence?     In the midst of this three year endless tragedy that was my life my work was becoming more unstable.   Not once....but two times the team that I was on at work was called into a meeting to say that "the team is being disbanded in two months and we are not sure that we will have a position for you."   I dodged those bullets and retained my job.  But then the company started having mass layoffs.  I dodged those bullets also.  But the strain and stress of the insecurity and instability of your job situation is tough.  (And yes, I was low key looking for alternate employment.)   Finally that came to a head in December of 2024 when they announced that I (along with my whole team) was being laid off, and on my birthday of all days.  I finished out the last few weeks of work and found myself unemployed on January 1rst.   And that started the stress of unemployment.  I'm not going to lie, I like being home and free to run errands and relax......but I also missed working.  Furthermore, I NEEDED a job!  HUNDREDS of applications were submitted.  I was trying to find another remote job so I could continue to work from home, but those applications were going no where.  Stress upon stress upon stress.  But I'm still standing.

 As soon as something was resolved and before I could even emotionally recover, something else happened.   The stress has been weighing me down heavily for quite some time.   This stress has carried into other areas of my life in ways that I won't go into today.   But I'm still standing.

In the last week or two I have been offered a job (two actually).   Both of them are in person but I am surprisingly  excited about getting out of the house and out into the world.   These last six months at home I have been very sequestered and alone.  I am somewhat worried about the dog though.  I've worked in the last months to get her used to me not being home all day...and she has gone multiple times with me being gone for 8 hours.  I think we will have some messes at first...simply because she is somewhat used to waiting to use the potty (the yard) until she wants to...but that won't be a possiblity.    But seriously, I think she is going to sink into a fit of depression.  That honestly is my only worry...my dog!


 

I'll be starting my new job literally 6 months almost to the day (one day off actually) from my last day at my previous job.  Yes, one day shy of 6 months of unemployment.    It's honestly the first 'happy' thing I can think of happening to me in the last three plus years.   Is my luck changing?   I'm certainly due some good luck....some happiness.   But as I thought about this change of my luck, I started to think about where I am and where I have let the last 5 years take me.  

So let me just say it here and now.........while I have had some bouts of weight loss and some great periods of being physically fit (such as my 75 hard challenge earlier this year), I have actually gained a fair amount of weight.    I am literally the highest I have been since I started this blog.   Yeah, it's hard to write that and face the truth.  But there it is.   This weight gain comes at me naturally.  I am a stress eater.   The last three years have been nothing but stress.    Couple that with illness and injury and life constraints that kept us too busy and/or incapable  for actives that we have enjoyed and that set up bad habits and we  have fallen into a habit of not being as physically active as we once were.     And there you have.....a disaster for my weight and honestly my health. But you know what, I'm still standing.

So with my luck changing for the better (I refuse to believe anything else) I know that I have to change my habits for the betterment of myself also.   I'm not making grand plans.   I have two weeks until I start working and I will honestly be busy.  I have a girls weekend that an ex-coworker has planned that I will be embarking upon next weekend.  (We are going to New River Gorge...it's about midway between us....and it's just pretty plus she has never been to West Virginia).  I have paperwork for my new job. I have a few other outings planned.  Plus, for my first week or two I will have to drive to Harrisburg (about an hour or more) for training (I will only be about 10 minutes from home once training is over).   I know that I will most likely be exhausted that week from the unaccustomed aspect of work....and a commute....AND learning new stuff.  So I also want to plan out some meals that I can have in my freezer ready to thaw and quickly cook for dinners those nights.  So the two weeks will be busy!  

I may be standing in a place that I never thought I would be......at the end of a 6 month period of unemployment, missing my mom (and my dad)....having been laid off....and back to a heavier weight than I ever thought I would be again, but when it comes down to it, I'm still standing and I am ready to be free myself and soar!

 And in case you haven't heard this song.....go listen....it's been my theme song of late!  (Seriously, so many of her songs have been my theme songs over the years....Fight Song right after my divorce.... Better Place when Jason and I were falling in love....etc.  )


 

 

Thursday, May 22, 2025

A Hiking Tale

 Jason and I have been trying to get out to hike a bit. Ok ok ok, it's been only two times thus far but it still is a start!   The first week was a resounding success!  The second week.......well.....it was not without it's issues! 

The First Hike

Jason and I got out for a hike on Mothers Day. The weather was warm but not unbearably hot.  We decided to head to a section of the Appalachian Trail (AT) in Maryland, just south of the Pennsylvania border.  It was surprisingly a section that I had never been on so it was neat to see.  We only planned to be out for a few hours and knew that we would be doing an out and back hike.   The section we chose was gorgeous, but then that is not too surprising as most of the AT is gorgeous!  There was a steeper section that was a bit rocky, and those large steps are rough on the knees but I wasn't too concerned.   It was a fantastic hike.  We hiked by a shelter, up the rocky incline, through some mud, across an open meadow where their were bulls behind a fence right across the field.  We crossed a road and we walked across planks that transversed a swampy area, we saw chipmunks and even a snake.    And then we turned around and did it all in reverse! 

 It was a great hike.  The only negative was the moment that I stopped to use the bathroom.   Of course we were in the middle of the woods so I had to rough it.  All went well and I went to pull up my pants and I forgot that my cell phone was in my back pants pocket.  ANYONE that has ever put their phone in their pants pocket can already guess what happened.   Yes, the phone went flippity flop out of the slack pants pocket and fell RIGHT into the pee puddle.  Ok, kinda disgusting...but more humorous than anything else! (And yes, I cleaned my phone off good when we got back to civilization.)  

The Second Hike

Riding high on our successful first hike we decided to go hiking the following Sunday.  The weather was even more delightful.   It was even cooler than the previous week, just fabulous.   We decided to hit the AT again.  This time we headed to Caledonia State Park, walk through the park and then hop on the AT.   We geared up and off we went.   We rambled through the park and reached the AT.   Almost immediately we were at a steep (must steeper than the week before) I honestly had a thought of NOT doing it.  I didn't WANT to do it. But I did.   And it was tough on the knees....so tough that I was inwardly panicking about the idea of coming back down.  Ironically coming down is worse on the knees.  But I pushed forward.   After the climb and a bunch of switchbacks we made it to the top of that incline and it leveled of.   I was feeling better but low key worried about the return.   We pushed on and came to  fire road/trail that the AT utilized for a bit.  In short order we were back on the dedicated AT and enjoyed a stream and some fabulous scenery.   We were about an hour and a half into our hike when we got to an AT shelter.  It was the cutest most well kept shelter.  There was potted plants and swing.   Perfection!   A shelter volunteer from the group that maintains the shelter and the surrounding 12 mile stretch was there working.  We stopped to talk to him for a few minutes.   We mentioned that we were about ready to turn back around which would bring our hike to about 3 hours. In no way our longest hike, but nothing shabby in it's own right.   The volunteer started talking about his recommendation for us.  He highly recommended that we continue on the AT for a "short bit" and that will bring us to an intersection to another trail that goes off to the right.  He gave us the name of the trail and told us that it was what we would want to do....a shortcut...at the end of that trail we would turn right and that would put us on the same trail that earlier had shared a short piece with the AT.   At that point we could hop back on the AT for that steep panic inducing (for me) section or according to this volunteer we could continue on and it was a fabulously easy and quick walk back to the park,   I specifically asked about the length of his recommendation since we were already at our turn around point.  He was like the same if not shorter!   And then I asked him about difficulty because I had that steep panic inducing section in my mind and the pain that I knew my knees would feel and I mentioned my arthritis on my knees.   This volunteer pulled his shorts up and showed me his scars on his knees and was like "I know what you are talking about"  and this trail is fabulous...much easier.  Meandering!  So we headed forward on the AT on this guys recommendation.   

 Now let me backtrack to Last October on a hike at Cowans gap where we were told by a park worker that they had updated a trail and it was no longer considered difficult since they put in switchbacks to make it easy!   Ad we lamented the fact that it was not easy.....I had a panic attack on that trail that day!   I should have learned my lesson from that day and not trusted the words of a mere mortal human.  Because I got burned AGAIN.

Going up the AT we had to keep going off trail because it was flooded and a river.  But we trudged on.   Then we started to climb upward.  And upward.  And then for good measure we went up further.  It was about 20 minutes and we started to question if we were ever going to get to this trail we were looking for. Internally I was contemplating turning because we were going further and further north and getting further away from the car with each step.  Finally after about 30 minutes we FINALLY reached the intersection.  We checked the sign and it was definitely the trail we were looking for.   Ahhh we made it.....see, it was all working out!   We turned and set off happily down the trail.   We were going to slay the shortcut.   We eventually started to go back down that mountain that we had just climbed.   It was a bit rocky.  It was a bit technical, but not too bad.  But it was definitely NOT meandering!  We kept going down....and down....and around...then back up a bit...then back down.   Seriously, time was passing and we started to make remarks about how the volunteer had steered us wrong.   Because a quick glance at the clock told us that if we had turned at the shelter that we would be nearing the car but yet we were still trudging down this unknown trail to who knows were.  We were not feeling confident with the directions at this point.   We both agreed that the trail was gorgeous though.  But seriously, we were madder than a mosquito at a mannequin factory!.  If we would have run into that guy we probably would have given him a piece of our minds!  I was seriously low key starting to panic that we would be totally lost and have to retrace our steps and I had serious doubts that I would be able to make it.  (I said that to my brother a few days later and he was like "you would have done it, it's amazing what you can do when death is on the line."  Ha)   But yeah, I was low key panicked about having to turn and waste the hour plus to get back to the shelter and then still have the hike back to the car.  We pushed forward.    And then we came to it.

 What is it?   We came to a stream crossing.  It wasn't our first stream crossing of the day.  (the picture above was one of the earlier water sightings)  The others had been shallow enough to wade through, or had a log to walk across or had strategically placed rock to go rock hopping across.   Normal fare for a hike.  NO problem.  But this stream crossing was different.   First of all we were in dense brush and forest and there was no room to step off the trail.   The forest walls were right up against us so we didn't have many options of where we were going to cross....it was right there or no where.   Still not a problem right?   WRONG.   The water was deep and flowing pretty good.  No assists for crossing.  No logs to inch across.  No stones protruding from the water to hop across.  Nothing but water......water that would be higher than our boots.   We stood there and pondered.  I thought about taking my boots off....but seriously, the rocks were jagged.  Their were holes.  It would have been unsafe without shoes.  That left us two options.  Turn around and retrace our steps or wade through with shoes and HOPE that we could stay on top of the rocks enough to keep the water under the level of our boots.  

Jason went first.......almost immediately his foot slipped into a hole and he wrenched his ankle.  But he didn't go down and made it across.  Then it was my turn.   Yeah, I missed the hole but I was in water up to my knees.   Water was DEFINITELY in my boots.....abut I made it across.  Now I had wet feet and we were still lost.  Jason asked if I wanted to dump the water from my boots....but there really wasn't a place to sit to do it as the trail was narrow and muddy.  I opted to let the water drain naturally.  Good choice because less than 3 minutes we were crossing the same stream....AGAIN.   And yes, again the water was over the tops of my boots.   We criss crossed over one more time on that darn trail!  Eventually we came to the intersection of the trail.  I checked the signs and we were still on the trail that this guy had highly recommended as 'easy' and the trail we dropped onto was the trail he said we would be on.  We headed off down that trail....my feet squishing with every step.  (Thank heavens I was wearing wool socks.....cotton socks would have been more uncomfortable.)   We walked and walked....and forded a few more water crossings.   And then we walked some more.  We were wondering if we were ever going to make it......I knew that we were on a trail that would take us back to the park (We had talked to some people while we were on this trail on the way to the shelter and I had asked what the trail name was and were it went...so I knew that eventually we would make it to the parking lots....but when.)   


 

Finally we came to a road.....with some cars parked on it.   We had a decision...continue on the path for who knows how long......or head down the road.  We finally had good cell coverage..I it appeared that the road took us to the park campground....from there I was pretty sure that we would be able to hop on an easy trail that we had walked during our vacation last October.   We decided to go that route. 

It was during this section of our walk that I had my next disaster.  My inner thighs started hurting.   Like burning and chafing.  But how, I was wearing shorts!  Yeah, my shorts ripped and my skin was rubbing and causing chafing!  OUCH!  

  We finally made it to the campground and I led us to where I thought the trail head that we needed would be.  That is when I realized how nervous Jason had been about our 'detour'.   As soon as we stepped foot on the trail and he saw the surroundings he said "ohhh I'm Ok now, I recognize this from when we walked to Zoey last fall."  

We ended up hiking about 2 hours more than what we planned. My knees actually did well.   My chafing I had been able to to keep under control by constantly adjusting the shorts and bunching them between my thighs (yeah, real pretty like).  My feet were feeling wet but they dried out nicely and felt fine with no blister.   My feet however ached.  I have a problem with my feet that is referred to as The Bone.  The bone was KILLING me that night and the next day.  But I just rested and elevated the feet and by Tuesday they were feeling better.   My legs were still achy a bit from the unexpected workout but by Wednesday I was A-OK the whole way around!   

Jason says we have to outdo ourselves with distance and time this upcoming weekend.   Uhhhhhh really?    Time will tell what happens!   Stay tuned!
 


Saturday, May 10, 2025

Inspiration not Aspiration

I had an epiphany the other day.  It came about quite naturally but it really does go hand in hand with the soul searching I have been doing lately and with the lessons that I learned from completing the 75 Hard.   So let me break down the two facets of my epiphany the soul searching and the inspiration and then I will wrap it up into my thoughts going forward. 

The first part of the equation of my epiphany is the thought processes that have been going through my mind in regards to the amazing accomplishment of actually completing the 75 hard and the internal knowledge that the challenge worked for me and that I felt that I needed to find a new challenge  in order to keep my motivation rolling in a positive direction.   I devised a plan to carry my motivation and habits through the month of April, I was going to have 'One Month of Winning."   I was going to slay the month of April.   But life happened and I got sidetracked.  One month of winning was not a win.  It was more a month of recovery and discovery.   Undaunted I decided that May was going to be my A-May-Zing month.   Corny or Catchy, who knows but I was excited to start.   By May 5th the month's plans were no longer a-may-zing.  I had devised my plan for May with room for imperfection.  I was aiming for an 80-20 thing, 80% perfection and the other 20%, well that could be as good as I could make it.   But by May 5th I was operating at pretty much Zero percent perfection.  It was NOT going well.   My cutely (corny) named monthly plans failed me.   It was a challenge but something happened and it just didn't motivate me.  Seriously, I couldn't even make it 5 days in May....yet I made it 75 days for the 75 hard challenge.   This made me think about what really motivates me, what kind of challenge works for me.  I was thinking....pondering.....debating in my head.  I was no closer to an answer when I stumbled upon the other facet that brought about my epiphany. 

Years ago Jason and I watched a documentary.  (How in the world can I remember this...but it was a day or two before Thanksgiving in 2016 and we were in a hotel in Reading, PA.)  The documentary was called "The Barkley Marathon:  The Race that Eats its Young"   What an amazing documentary, seriously if you haven't seen it.....I highly recommend it.   Through the ensuing years I've kept a loose watch on the Barkley Marathon. I've watched a few more documentaries and kept an eye on the results each year.  Apparently I didn't do it in 2024....because 2024 was huge and I didn't learn about it until just this week.  First of all there were 5 finishers!   That in itself is amazing in a race that has been around since 1986 but only has 20 (now) people that have can claim to have finished the race.  But the bigger thing......for the first time EVER a woman  finished the Barkley!  I read the reports and watched new documentaries.  I also looked up the results for 2025, which had no winners.  In fact only one person made it 3/5 of the way through the Barkley in 2025.    This race has been noted to be a race that pushes people past their limits to really see what someone is made of.  The race that truly is ALL about the will of human nature.   


Rediscovering the Barkley Marathon was truly inspirational for me.   While I have absolutely no aspiration to run the Barkley Marathon, it did remind me of how much I used to enjoy running.  It made me think about how running was something that was a challenge for me.  I was always trying to best myself.  Yes, I was in a competition with myself....always looking to be faster, go further...or sometimes just do it because it made me a bad ass!  I didn't have talent and I was never super fast, but I had the will to do it!

So on Tuesday, May 6th I went out and took my first run in about 2 years.  Let me tell you, it was not pretty.  It was not graceful.  It was certainly not fast.  In fact, I restarted a training program where I am doing walk/run intervals and let me tell you, those 60 second run intervals were tough!  But I completed it.

I came home and pulled up the stats from when I did the same program a few years back.   I was comforted to see that my stats were almost exactly the same.....at least I didn't get worse!  But at the same time, I was disgusted to be back at the beginning once again.   I also looked at some of my race reports from about 10 -12 years ago.  You can link to all of those posts here.   I am in inspired.

  I have looked at a few 5K races/runs that are upcoming in my area.   I am actually toying with doing the Donut Alley Rally in Hagerstown which is held on a Friday night in early August.  That gives me 3 months to be in 5K race ready.  (My goal has always been to complete a race and NOT be the last one to cross the finish line.) The main reason I have not pulled the trigger on an entry fee is the fact that I still to not have a job.  I HOPE to have one by then though....and while I hope to be working day shift.....I honestly don't know what my schedule may be and obviously if I get a job a job will come first.  If that doesn't work, I have a few other 5k's on my radar ....one in September, one in October and one in November, so I do have some back ups should I decide to test my mettle with a 5K. 

 I am making no promises about this 'challenge' and quest to get back into running.   I  have made too many claims about this challenge or that challenge.  But I will say this.....  I like running because I am in competition with myself and no one else.  I like running because it is as simple as me completing my training runs and knowing that putting in the time really is all that is needed.  (Well and a good pair of tennis shoes.).  With running I am in control of my progress.    And it's time to take control and get-a-running!

 

 

 

 

 

  

Thursday, May 08, 2025

365 Pictures : Days 175-182

 I finished up April Strong with my quest to take at least one picture every day....still a lot of dog pictures, but hey, it's still a picture and it's still my day!  

Day 175 4.23.25

Zoey was enoying some apple slices (with cinnamon). 

Day 176 4.24.25

Jason was on antibiotics that were messing with his stomach, so I ran to the store to pick up some probiotics!

Day 177 4.25.25

Time to share some of my fruit snack with the bird!

Day 178 4.26.25

Little Mertz doesn't get to have her picture taken often!   Today was the day!

Day 179 4.27.25

I swear, this dog is so lazy!



Day 180 4.28.25

Another day of working on the computer while the dog is a lazy bum!


Day 181 4.29.25

Yup, this is what the dog does all day long!  (And yes, she sleeps the night away also!)

Day 182 4.30.25

She wanted to go out so she stood at my side and barked at me until I took her outside.  No, not to potty, she just wanted to go outside to play!